Forever Tethered
by KEMLEM81
Summary: It was always there, this invisible string between them, tethering them to each other despite the time and distance that had separated them for all these years. What would it take for the string to break forever? What would it take for it to tether them close together for the rest of their lives? Literati.
1. Chapter 1

_**It was always there, this invisible string between them, tethering them to each other despite the time and distance that had separated them for all these years.**_

_** It was getting shorter lately as the life events of those they loved most in this world drew them back to the same place where it started all those years ago.**_

_**Do broken hearts ever truly mend?**_

_**Do you ever forget your first real love? **_

_**Would they find their way back only to run their separate ways once more? **_

_**What would it take for the string to break forever?**_

_**What would it take for it to tether them together for the rest of their lives?**_

**Chapter 1**

**Awakening**

It was 6:14am and the phone was ringing in his dream but suddenly he found he wasn't dreaming after all and the ringing was two feet from his pillow. Light was barely beginning to seep through around the edges of his curtains. He lifted the screaming device to his ear, not even uttering so much as a huh, and listened as he heard a voice he'd never forget in a dozen lifetimes.

Barely registering the words but understanding the tone he quickly threw off his covers and pulled on his jeans and a shirt before grabbing his keys and heading straight for his car. Before he knew what he was doing, without a thought towards showering or breakfast or any of the other things with which one would ordinarily commence their day, he was on the road, driving to the place 22.8 miles from where her call had originated, to the place he knew he would find her - he was driving home. Home? Yes, home. The closest place to a real home he'd ever had. Even if he was too jaded to realise it in his youth, he knew it now and soon he would find himself back there. His only concern now was what exactly would be waiting for him when he did arrive.

She didn't know why, of all the people she could have called, it was his voice at the end of the line when she desperately dialled the first number that came to her fingertips as the sun was rising. Hearing his voice she suddenly felt safe for the first time in a long time and she knew she had made the right decision. She was ready to forget the past and move on, she had been for a long time really but just hadn't ever been able to set herself free but today was different. Last night was the last she would stay here under this roof. She checked her appearance one last time in the hall mirror, carefully examining her right jawbone and fluffing her hair more fully around her neck despite it already being covered by her high buttoned blouse. Today was just like any other day, she told herself as she picked up her briefcase and overnight bag and exited the house that had never once felt like a home to her in these past 8 months. The only difference was this time she would not be returning. She slid her key under the door and walked briskly to her car before she could change her mind. She blinked back the tears that were threatening to fall and without another thought to what she was leaving behind she was on the road - she was driving home.

He didn't bother driving into the centre of town, he knew she wouldn't be there. He didn't go to her childhood home either. There was only one place she would be and so he parked his car off the road and walked the remaining distance to the bridge - their bridge - the only place he'd ever admitted to liking in this backwater town. His instinct had been right but then that had never been their problem, they'd always been intrinsically in tune with each other - sometimes allowing them to push all the right buttons but more often striking the wrong ones. There she was, waiting for him as she had been so many times before. She hadn't heard him arrive and he took this moment to just watch her silently, rewinding the past few hours in his mind, wondering how it always came back to this, wondering if he was man enough to rescue her this time around. A bird swooped low over the still water disturbing the smooth surface into a cascade of ripples. Suddenly, as if sensing his presence, she turned her head towards him, her long dark hair falling away from her neck as she twisted revealing more than she had intended but it didn't matter anyway, he knew with one look into her sunken blue eyes what must've happened. The whole way here he knew it and he didn't want to believe it but now he couldn't tell himself any different version of this unspeakable truth. The worst factor of it all, worse even than the finger shaped bruises marking her neck and the swelling on her jaw, was the knowledge that this was his fault and for that he would never forgive himself.

**_A/N I'm currently working on fixing the format of this story so please bear with me as I update it to a more readable version :)_**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**5 Months Earlier**

Finally the day had arrived, her mum was getting married and she could not have been happier for her or her new father to be. So much had happened between them over the years but, at last, they would be signing their names to their happily ever after contract and sealing it with the special delivery of a child of their very own in just 7 short months. Her room would soon be transformed into a nursery and she had mixed emotions about that but she had a house of her own now and someone of her own to share it with, it was time to let her safe haven go. This trip was as much about saying goodbye to her old life as it was about celebrating her mum's new one. The RSVP's had confirmed the somewhat unexpected presence of one part of her old life she didn't think she would ever truly be able to let go of. Her stomach filled with butterflies at the thought of seeing him in just a few hours time. She quickly swatted them away with a reminder to herself that that was the past, he had left her and she him and eventually the long and winding road she found herself on without him had taken her back home and back into the arms and heart of her first boyfriend.

He tugged at the collar of his suit one last time, smoothing the lapels over his chest. He was no longer such a stranger to a suit and tie as he had been in years past but he was still more himself in jeans and a shirt. Today however was definitely a suit and tie kind of day so he donned it without complaint and only the slightest of smirks. He was happy to see his Uncle so happy, after all he had done for him it was the least he could do to look the part for his wedding and not give the townsfolk anything new to gossip about for a change. He swept his hair back out of his eyes as he headed down the stairs from the apartment which held a myriad of memories for him. The bell rung its familiar tune as he stepped out the front door into the twilight and headed towards the crowd already assembled at the gazebo.

She didn't have to see him coming, she heard the sudden hush of the crowd and saw 62 heads simultaneously turn in the direction of the diner and knew he was here. She kept her eyes averted as she waited for her mum to arrive in her horse drawn carriage. Luke was waiting patiently for her, under the gazebo where they had shared so many memorable moments together including their first ever picnic and their engagement kiss the first time they got engaged. Tonight the place was lit up with a thousand twinkling fairy lights that glittered in the trees and the town had even agreed to allow them to hang the lanterns usually reserved for the firelight festival. The square had never looked more beautiful and nor had his bride to be. As the carriage came to a stop at the end of the makeshift aisle the crowd rose from their seats, the return of the town hoodlum in a suit forgotten momentarily by all but one of them as they turned their attention to the woman of the hour. One set of eyes however finally allowed themselves to shift in the direction the others had all been previously focused on and there she found herself trapped by his brown gaze seeking her blue eyes once more.

The ceremony went by slowly, as these things often do. He stayed and ate and drank and made small talk all the while watching her as she moved from table to table smiling and talking and laughing. They all smiled back at her, their town princess, none of them noticing the shadows lurking behind her eyes, but he noticed them. He knew something wasn't right with her but he would let her come to him if she needed him. It wasn't his place to protect her anymore. If he was honest with himself he would admit his hesitancy had less to do with her new, old boyfriend and far more to do with the fact that he didn't think he could take it if she rejected him again. They'd each played their own part in breaking each other's hearts but while it appeared she'd moved on he still found himself imagining the what ifs of a night four years ago in Philadelphia. The last time he'd seen her she'd been walking away from him and he didn't think he could handle that again.

Finally the newlyweds departed and he was able to slip away unnoticed amidst the fanfare, returning to the old apartment over the diner for the night. He hadn't decided yet how long he was staying, nothing depended on her but somehow, now he'd seen her and noticed that look behind her eyes, everything did so he would wait and see and stay, for now. Bonus of being a writer: the world was his office and this quiet little corner of it was as inspiring as any other he'd ever found himself in.

As she kissed her parents goodbye and wished them a wonderful honeymoon she found her gaze once again drawn away, this time witnessing a dark haired figure in a perfectly fitted suit disappearing into the diner and then a moment later she saw light glowing behind the curtains in the upstairs window. She should've known he'd be staying and she should've guessed he'd be staying there. She should've known better than to let her feet lead her towards the door that she had passed through almost every single day of her life, to take the key from its usual spot above the frame, to push back the curtain and climb the stairs to the apartment door. She should've known better but still she found herself knocking and then he was there standing before her, looking right into her soul and opening his arms to her to embrace her. How was it that it was here, in his arms again, that she finally felt safe?

He knew he shouldn't have held her but when he finally saw her eyes up close he knew his fears must be true and so, without thinking, he held out his arms to her and breathed a sigh of relief mixed with sorrow and frustration as she stepped into his embrace. Neither of them spoke, they just stood there a while until eventually he kissed her hair then pulled his head back to see her face. Still holding her he could see the tears that she'd been holding back all day flowing freely down her flushed cheeks. She still looked so beautiful to him even in her dishevelled state but now wasn't the time for thoughts like those. He loosened his grip on her and silently led her over to the bed where he lay her down and tucked her in. He kissed her on the forehead then turned to set up a makeshift bed for himself on the couch.

"Please stay with me," her voice whispered across the room.

The sadness in her voice, the defeat, broke his heart all over again. What had happened to her? He feared the worst based on memories of his own childhood. He crossed the room back to her side in 2 long strides, settling himself on the bed beside her he held her to him and whispered "always" into her hair as he felt her drift off into a fitful sleep. There were more questions than answers but there would be time for that tomorrow. Right now he was right where he needed to be, holding the woman he loved. Tomorrow would wait.

**_A/N I'm brand new at this so please be gentle with your feedback and also feel free to send any helpful advice my way :)_**


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N this chapter is a bit on the heavy side :/ this is where my words are taking me so I'm just trying to treat it delicately and go with it. I've never really written fiction before, I'm a poet at heart still finding my style here. Thank you to those who have taken the time to read the last two chapters. I hope you enjoy this one.**_

**Chapter 3**

**Tomorrow**

She awoke to a familiar but long forgotten feeling of safety. A weight across her abdomen that was gentle not crushing. A feeling of entanglement that was secure not strangling. Allowing her eyes to adjust to the dim morning light she turned her face ever so slightly to see the source of her comfort. She felt a warmth radiating from within as she watched his peaceful face. In that moment she forgot she was no longer his to have and to hold. Tilting her head back to see him more clearly she noticed how time had changed him. He was no longer the boy of her regrets and dreams but in his sleeping state his youth was preserved and she felt herself drawn to him. Placing a gentle kiss on his lips, she sighed quietly to herself, wondering how she had ended up here.

3 years ago she could have been getting married but she had said no. She could have been working for a paper in Providence but she had turned that down too. Her gut steered her away from both but had been sending her mixed signals ever since. 2 years on the campaign bus had been equal parts tedious and exciting but she was ready to move on when the job offer came from the New Haven Advocate so she let her gut lead her there and this last year had been one of great growth for her as a writer and reporter. She'd found herself a lovely little apartment with a yellow and white kitchen and a perfect window seat in the front room. She made it her own with her books and her photos from her travels. Her mother helped with new curtains and the generous donation of her beloved monkey lamp. It was hers and hers alone and she was happy. She had her lonely moments of course but, with Stars Hollow an easy enough distance, she was never far from her real home and all those who loved her there. Hartford was also near enough and over time the frost had thawed following her breakup with Logan and she had developed a new relationship with her grandparents, no longer the indebted, obligated child but now the independent woman who chose to know these two people. She wasn't one for keeping secrets but memories of the past kept her from revealing to her twin pillars that she was in fact recommencing a past relationship with a man they would never be inclined to approve of.

She'd been in New Haven for 3 months when Dean came knocking on her door. He'd confessed he still loved her despite all that had happened and he wanted to give their relationship one last shot. He'd seemed taller than she remembered, if that was even possible, his shoulders broader. No longer the boy she'd shared her first kiss with, now undeniably a man. His hair was trimmed and tidy and his smile was still as warm and genuine as she remembered it from the day of their round cake discussion - was that really a decade ago?

She had invited him in for coffee. A month later she gave him a set of keys and her apartment became theirs. She should've listened to her gut but she got carried away in the comfort of his embrace and the way he seemed to fill the lonely spaces in her life and ignored the warning signs. She told herself it would be different this time and she was right. She just had no way of knowing that he would've changed in such a devastating way.

At first it was the barbs in his words that stung the most. His jealousy had not tempered in their time apart. He wanted to know her whereabouts every minute of every day. She'd find herself hiding out amongst the crowd at Lulu's or in the peaceful solitude of Never Ending Story. Anything to avoid coming home.

He never laid a finger on her until the day a new book arrived on her desk for review. She'd tucked it into her briefcase to re-read later, she'd bought her very own copy as soon as it had hit the shelves two weeks earlier and had already dissected it several times. That already well thumbed copy was buried in her bottom drawer amongst her winter scarfs. She had no way of knowing how bad his reaction might have been had he unearthed that volume.

It was a Tuesday afternoon 2 weeks ago when he'd arrived home early from his job as a construction worker on a new neighbourhood development 2 towns away. She was reading in her usual spot, a pencil in her hand and laptop open at her side. She was so absorbed in her work she hadn't even registered his appearance in the tiny front room. As he stepped closer he took in the name on the spine and his eyes flared with bottled resentment as he uttered the word "Mariano" under his breath.

The lid on his anger was removed that afternoon and she spent that night locked in the bathroom, huddled amongst her towels for warmth, too scared too sleep and too sore to move. The next morning she showered and dressed like it was any other day. She applied her makeup more carefully, practising to herself in the mirror what she would say if anyone noted her new look. She waited until she heard the door slam shut then waited an hour more to be certain he was gone before removing two things from her bottom drawer - a scarf to cover a new secret and a book that already contained far too many.

As far as her friends and family knew Dean was unable to attend the wedding this weekend due to a nasty flu. Their happy facade would remain intact for now, with the exception of one person who always could see right through her.

She kissed Jess gently again, this time he began to stir from his slumber. His eyes slowly opening, adjusting in the dim light as hers had just moments earlier. In that moment she made a decision that would change the course of both their lives. It was sure to be a treacherous journey but she was once again in tune with her gut and she could no longer deny the truth it was screaming at her.

For a moment he thought he was dreaming that same dream again. He'd not dreamt it for a while but it had returned several times as his Uncle's wedding date had approached and with it the promise of seeing her again. He didn't want to open his eyes, he wanted to stay there in that moment with her for just a little while longer. She kissed him again and he slowly opened his eyes, allowing them to adjust to the dim light in the room. Allowing them to focus on the face before him. Allowing his mind to process that this was not in fact a dream. Without a second thought, let alone a first one, he closed the short distance between them, placing his mouth over hers. He felt her smile beneath his lips and moved back to see her face. He heard the word "hi" escape from his mouth like a hoarse whisper. He heard the word "hi" escape from her mouth like an answered prayer. Their lips met again and then only unspoken words could be heard, whispered to the rhythm of their heavy beating hearts.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

**2 Months Earlier**

"Hey stranger," she called across the empty bookshop.

It was getting late, almost closing time and it had been another quiet day in a quiet week. Her voice drew his eyes away from the boxes of books he was organising for distribution. They hadn't seen each other since the wedding. The wedding that had changed everything yet altered nothing. He still loved her, that hadn't ever changed, and in his dark moments he felt it as a curse. She loved him too, they both knew this to be true and yet, she had returned home to New Haven after the wedding to try to mend the broken pieces with Dean. He would never understand how she could do that. Not the forgiving Dean part, not even the not choosing him part but the fact that she could choose that life for herself he would never be able to wrap his head around.

Once again his mind took him back to his childhood and a long chain of memories he wished he could bury or burn or forget forever. The Rory he knew was stronger and braver than this but all he could do was step back and wait for her to realise that for herself. In the meantime he would wait, as he had always in some way been waiting, and be ready for her when that wait was finally over. He examined her face for a moment before stepping out from behind his boxes and moving toward her. True enough she was here but the wait wasn't over yet, her eyes were not yet hers again, they still wore the mask that he'd only managed to briefly lift 3 months ago.

"Read any good books lately?" he asked, his voice serious and subdued.

In the safe comfort of the apartment over the diner, in the dim morning light, she had told him the story of what happened with Dean. Now here, standing before him again today, she knew the real question that lay beneath these words.

Now that she was here she didn't quite know what to say. She'd been on autopilot all day and it was the bell over the door of Truncheon that finally riled her out of her vacant state. It wasn't often she found herself lost for words but, in all the times in her life she had been, Jess was often the cause. In this moment the problem wasn't so much not having anything to say but rather far too many thoughts and feelings and decisions to discuss and she had no idea where to begin.

3 months ago when everything seemed to be falling apart around her it seemed as if the stars had aligned in some spectacular cliche of a perfect night. She'd always thought her first time would be with Jess and had always secretly regretted that it hadn't been. It was something she'd thought about more than she cared to admit over the last 4 years but after treating him so terribly the last time she had stood in this very room she had never really believed she would ever know him in that way. Her first time with Jess had wiped the slate clean of everything that had ever passed between them and from it something new and beautiful had been born. They had always had the tragic habit of running away from each other at the most important moments in their lives though and this time had been no exception. Feeling more loved than she had ever felt in her life she had slipped out of the apartment while he slept. She knew if she woke up to him just one more time she wouldn't be able to leave but she owed it to him to sort her mess out before he became any further entangled in it.

She didn't know what to expect from Dean when she returned home. She was terrified he would know that she had cheated on him just by looking at her. She would not, could not tell him. After what he had done to her over a simple book she feared what he might be capable of if he ever found out she'd shared a bed and her body with another man, especially when that man was Jess.

As it was, Dean was so caught up in his own guilt, he could barely look her in the eye and so they moved on through the weeks and months to follow dancing around each other, trying to remember the steps but both shuffling to a different tune, never in sync. She knew she had to leave him but just didn't quite know how. She was scared she might trigger his rage again and until she found a way around that feat she was trapped there in this half-lived life with him. A family matter had called him away to Chicago and in his absence she found herself steering her car toward Philadelphia.

She realised Jess was still awaiting her response, his eyes studying her face for the answer she had not yet spoken.

"No, no more books" she uttered on a sigh. "I'm sorry I didn't call first, I didn't even know this was where I was headed until I arrived and now I don't even know where to begin or end or if I should have even come or if this will only make everything worse."

It didn't really make sense but it didn't have to, he understood her without translation. Closing the gap between them he took her into his arms again, kissing her forehead as he pulled her tightly into his embrace. They stood there like this until the bell over the door rang once more, shattering the silence of the shop, reminding them that the world was greater than just the two of them. Releasing her from his hold, Jess went to see if the new customer needed any assistance leaving Rory to collect herself. She found a spot in the back corner of the room with a comfy chair and there she waited, alone with her thoughts once more.

He didn't know how much time had passed but he was relieved to see Rory still there when he finalised the customer's purchases and bid them a good evening. Heading over to the door himself, Jess latched it and turned the sign to 'closed'. It was near enough to closing time anyway and he and Rory were 3 months overdue for this talk, it needn't wait any longer. He knew what cards he held but was curious to see if her hand had changed and how much she was willing to put on the table.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

**Uncovering His Muse**

He switched off the last of the lights in the shop all the while feeling her eyes on him, watching him as he finalised the last tasks of the day. Neither had spoken a word since he locked the door. After one last quick glance around and mentally checking he'd done all that needed doing for tonight he walked silently toward her where she still sat in the corner chair. He reached out his hand for hers and helped her to stand then lead her up the stairs to his apartment.

There was a time when he had shared this space with his fellow Truncheon owners but when the opportunity had arisen to expand their name with a store in New York City he had decided to stay here in Philly and let Matt and Chris discover his hometown without him. In their absence he'd turned one room into his office and kept the other for his bedroom. It was modest but he had no need for any more and the commute didn't suck either.

Rory had never seen his apartment the last time she was here although she'd imagined many varying versions of the night of the opening in which she hadn't pulled away when Jess had kissed her. As they approached the door her heart began to beat so fast and loud she was sure Jess must've been able to hear it. She felt like a schoolgirl again, the events of the last few months forgotten in an hormonal rush. No sooner were they through the door when she found herself reaching for his face, running her fingers through his hair, oh how she had missed that, and kissing him like she would never get the chance to again. She'd caught him by surprise but he recovered quickly and responded by deepening their kiss, lacing his arms around her waist, pulling her as close to him as they could possibly get while still fully clothed. 8 years of loving and longing went into that kiss and neither one wanted to be the one to stop it. Rory allowed Jess to lead her across the small living room and into his bedroom without either of them breaking contact. Clothes were hastily shed and love gently made and sound sleep submitted to. Their talk would wait one more day, it had already waited this long after all.

The mask was no longer over her eyes when she finally blinked them open the next morning. The smell of bacon and eggs and pancakes and coffee awoke her from her peaceful slumber. She hadn't slept this well in months! 3 months to be exact. Jess was a magic elixir to her. She knew she should feel remorse for once again falling into bed with him but her gut wouldn't allow it. Her gut knew she was biding her time with Dean, awaiting a safe escape, and that she and Jess were forever tethered and she was exactly where she was supposed to be, despite the messy details. Before she could get up to dress, Jess arrived at the bedroom door with a plate of deliciousness in one hand and a mug of heaven in the other but neither creation could compare to the smile on his face and the joy in his eyes. She returned his smile as she tucked the sheet up around her, leaning back against the headboard, ready to enjoy her breakfast in bed.

It was barely 5 o'clock when he'd opened his eyes this morning. A glance to his side reminded him of the events of the night before and he couldn't keep the smile from his face as he carefully climbed out of the bed and made his quiet way across to his office where he sat for the next 2 1/2 hours writing. It felt so good to be writing again! With his muse in the next room, the words were flowing at a tremendous rate. It was only the rumble of his stomach reminding him they'd not even had dinner the night before that shook him from his trance and forced him into the kitchen to make some breakfast. He wanted to let Rory sleep but knew they had to talk and they couldn't keep putting it off. No matter how pleasant a distraction she was, he was determined to resist her until she had at least attempted to say what she must've come here to say.

He could hear her stirring, the rustle of sheets and gentle squeak of the mattress springs, as he approached with her breakfast in bed. As soon as her eyes met his he knew that, no matter what it took, he was not going to lose her again. If last night had proven anything, it was that they belonged together. He had changed, he had grown up. He'd made something of himself now and could offer her some semblance of a life she deserved, even if not quite on the same scale as one of her grandparents preferred suitors. He couldn't be who she had needed him to be for her before but he could now and he was beyond ready.

"Good morning, I thought you might be hungry", he offered as an unnecessary explanation as he placed the plate on her lap and the mug on the chair beside the bed. Her stomach rumbled in response and then they were both laughing as her cheeks became tinged in pink.

"Thank you kind sir! My stomach thanks you!" She held his gaze a moment then began devouring her food. It was only when she finished that she noticed he was still standing in the doorway watching her.

"Where's yours?" she asked, disarmed by his presence and the realisation that he was fully clothed while she was wearing no more than a cotton sheet.

"I was waiting for you to finish your first round then I thought we could eat the second round properly together, at the table." he explained.

She began to indignantly protest his assumption but instead gave in, offering him another smile as she admitted to herself that she was in fact ravenous. She handed him her empty plate and rose from the bed, sheet and all, wrapping it more firmly around herself as she padded across the carpet to where he still stood in the doorway. She reached up to give him a quick kiss before heading straight to the table where she found a plate of chocolate chip pancakes ready and waiting for her.

He waited until she'd taken a few bites of her pancakes before he began. He'd had time to think about what he wanted to say and he only hoped it would come out the way he wanted it to.

"We can't put this off any longer Rory, we need to talk - about last night, about last June, about Dean, about why you left and why you're now here." He took a deep breath as if to recover from the effort of having said so much at once.

"I love you Rory. That's my only answer here. Do you have any answers or are we still stuck on this endless merry-go-round of ambiguity?"

Despite his best intentions, his words came out with a bitter edge and he could see her shrinking away again. She put down her fork and tightened her hold on the sheet before crossing the room to the bathroom and shutting the door behind her. He heard the lock click and echoed it with the sound of his fist slamming the table. He grabbed his keys and went out for a walk. How would they ever move on to be any more than just an occasional random hookup if they couldn't even have a conversation. They weren't 17 anymore. He turned to walk back to Truncheon. He climbed the stairs back up to his apartment. He opened the door and there she was, hair still wet from the shower, dressed in yesterday's clothes, sitting at the table, pen and paper in hand, waiting for him.

"Okay. I think I'm ready now," she admitted.

He came to sit beside her, not at all surprised to see a familiar pro/con list already started on the page. He hid his smile for risk of antagonising her again, but was relieved at this first step forward.

The shower was always a good place to think. As she lathered his shampoo through her thick hair, letting it's subtle scent permeate her senses, she decided she had no right to be mad at Jess. He was being incredibly gracious and patient with her given the circumstances. Self examination revealed to her that she had always had a tendency to run when things got difficult. On several of those occasions she had run to Jess. That invisible thread always brought her back to him in the end. It was time she stopped running away and faced up to the truth of her current situation. She did not, could not and would never love Dean, especially not while she lived in fear of him. She did and could and would always love Jess and she trusted him to be careful with her heart this time around and was determined to be careful with his.

She finished her shower, towel dried her hair as best she could and put on her clothes from yesterday. She'd left in such a state she hadn't even packed a bag to bring with her so they would have to do. If she was smart she'd head back to New Haven tonight and wouldn't put herself into the hands of temptation again until she had properly dealt with Dean.

She was in the midst of compiling a pro/con list of how to break up with Dean when Jess walked back through the door. He sat beside her and together they made a plan. For now she would return home to New Haven and wait for Dean to return from Chicago before breaking up with him. If he goes without drama she will not press charges for what he'd done to her in May and she would keep it between them. If he will not go quietly or lays a finger on her again she will press charges (and Jess will kill him). In black and white on the page it seemed so clear and easy. This was the right thing to do, she just hoped when the time came she would be strong enough to follow through.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

**Rescuing Her**

It had been 2 months since they had written that list together, made a plan, and said their goodbyes. 2 long, worrying, aggravating months for which he'd buried himself in his office, writing every waking hour that wasn't occupied in the bookstore. 2 long lonely months without so much as a phone call, email, text, kiss, touch. 2 long months with no idea if Rory was even safe. He'd called Luke a few times but he had to be careful what he said as Rory was too ashamed for anyone else but him to know the truth of her sham of a relationship so he never got the answers he needed to help him sleep at night and so he didn't sleep. He'd write until he passed himself out, comatose was not the same as sleep - she didn't haunt his dreams there.

Looking at her now sitting there on their bridge he could see that she was broken but couldn't assess just how bad the damage was until he got closer. He gently removed the scarf from her neck revealing the ten red finger shaped welts he'd feared he'd find there. He met her eyes and didn't look away, not as hers filled with tears as he rearranged the scarf around her neck to cover her shame once more, not as his own filled with tears at the sight of his beautiful Rory so frightened and frail. Sitting down beside her he pulled her onto his lap and held her there like a child while she silently sobbed until there were no more tears to be shed then he bundled her up in his arms and led her back to his car. Leaving the bridge behind with one more memory to add to its collection of moments between these two.

"Are you okay?" he finally asked, breaking the silence. She met his eyes and shook her head slightly as more years began to fall.

"Should I take you to the hospital?" he asked more to himself than to her but the pain in her eyes defied the sharp shake of her head and he knew he'd been right to ask.

"I know you're scared Rory but we need to get you checked over and make sure you're physically okay. I'll drive you all the way back to Philly if you want, no one knows you there, hell, I'll drive you to New York, New Jersey, New Mexico - you name the place and we can go there and I will make sure Dean can never find you and hurt you again."

Her silence was making him ramble for a change and he don't like it one bit. He felt out of control. He needed to be able to do something. What he really wanted to be doing was driving to New Haven and hauling Dean's sorry ass out onto whatever street corner he could find and beating the hell out of him for treating Rory like this. Luckily he'd done some growing up these last few years, enough at least to realise that he was no use to Rory in a prison cell, she needed him here so going after Dean was not going to be an option.

"Okay, Philly it is." he spoke aloud after she failed to respond. "You can stay with me while we sort this mess out once and for all. Do you need to get anything from your car? What are we going to do with your car? Are you okay to drive? Argh!" he suddenly slammed his fists into the steering wheel and got out of the car walking away, trying to calm the fury raging inside him. He needed help. He couldn't do this on his own. What if he failed her again? He couldn't fail her now, not this time, he would lose her for good. He would lose himself for good. Before he could change his mind he pulled out his cell phone a dialled an old familiar number. Luke picked up on the third ring and listened in silence as his nephew asked for his help.

Rory sat in silence while Jess rambled on. She could tell he was on the edge and he didn't even know the truth of what had happened yet. How was she going to tell him when she could already see in his eyes that he blamed himself for her injuries this time? How could she have been so stupid? She'd always been such a careful and calculated person, she practically patented the terms "pro/con" and "to-do" list and yet here she sat having broken all the rules and suffering the consequences in the severest possible way.

After she had left Jess to go back and follow through with their plan to end things with Dean without exacerbating the situation she had found herself home alone for 5 weeks. When Dean finally returned from Chicago he found his wife sick in bed with stomach flu and stepped immediately back into the role of dutiful partner - making her soup, fluffing her pillows, making sure she could always reach the remote. 2 weeks later she was still so unwell he urged her to go back to see her Doctor. Turned out she didn't have the stomach flu after all and Dean was smart enough to realise the math was off and a child conceived while he had been in Chicago could not possibly be his. He was silent the entire drive home and slept in the spare room that night and was gone for work before she woke the next morning. For three days she didn't see him, he kept himself away from her much to her relief but she was also fearful of the anger that was likely building inside him as he worked so hard to avoid her.

Last night he'd reached boiling point and he broke the door jam in his effort to finally confront her. He said only three words "was it him?" Her silence was all the reply he needed. At some point she blacked out and woke up once again locked in the bathroom cold and sore and wrapped in bath towels. She waited until she heard the front door slam shut as he went off to work, thankful for his early starts. She checked her appearance one last time in the hall mirror, picked up her briefcase and overnight bag and exited the house that had never once felt like a home to her in these past 8 months. The only difference was this time she would not be returning. She slid her key under the door and walked briskly to her car before she could change her mind. She blinked back the tears that were threatening to fall and without another thought to what she was leaving behind she was on the road - she was driving home. She'd allowed herself a brief smile when she remembered the call she'd made earlier and knew that Jess would be there when she got there.

Now here she was and here he was and she had to tell him what had happened and she had to tell him why. She had to tell him they were going to have a baby. She had to hope that he wouldn't ever leave her again.

Jess hated lying to his uncle especially about Rory when he knew damn well he loved her like his own daughter but he knew Rory would hate him more if he told him the truth so instead he made up a lame story about needing to leave his car here a while and having Luke cover for him if anyone started asking questions about his whereabouts. He assured his uncle that he was not in trouble with the law and that one day he would explain everything to him but for right now he just needed somewhere to stash his car and some food for the road trip back to Philly. Luke did as his nephew asked as Jess wasn't one to ever admit he needed help so he figured, despite the ambiguity of the request, it must be something pretty important for him to have bothered to call in the first place. He was packing some burgers and doughnuts into a takeaway bag when he spotted Jess pulling up outside the diner. He walked out to greet him, noticing the harrowed look on his nephew's face he pulled him in for a brief hug before letting him go.

He thrust the bag of food into Jess's hand and looked in his eyes as he told him "call me when you're ready." Jess appreciated all his uncle had done for him but this moment, this was something else completely.

Somehow Luke's trust in him calmed his nerves that had been rattling since his phone had rung at 6:14 that morning. He nodded his head in thanks before heading back across town towards the bridge where he had left Rory to wait with her car. He passed her the food and settled himself into the drivers seat. He reached across to squeeze her hand before starting the engine then got them on the road leaving Stars Hollow behind them once more as they headed back to Philadelphia.


	7. Chapter 7

**_A/N this one's for you DrewSaywer, thank you for your feedback, I hope this is satisfactory :)_**

**Chapter 7**

**The Long Road Home**

After 3 hours of driving in silence Jess turned off the highway as they reached the New Jersey turnpike and found a hospital in Elizabeth to take Rory to. She didn't protest as he parked in the busy car park. She unlatched her seatbelt and made to reach for the handle to open the car door when she suddenly froze and slumped back into her seat, unable to make herself get out of the car. Jess made his way around to her door and opening it he knelt down beside her, looking up into her eyes, trying to gauge their next move.

"There's something I need to tell you. Before we go in there and they find out and they tell you. I need to tell you. It needs to be me. It can't be them. I need you to promise me that you will stay. I need to know you're not going to leave me. I need to know we can work this out together because you're the only thing keeping me together right now. You are my glue. I need you to help me fix the cracks. I need you Jess. I need you."

At last she paused for breath and he reached for her hand, squeezing it gently in his own, he waited for her to return her eyes to his before promising her "I will" even though he had no way of knowing what he would be holding himself to. She took a deep breath and sighed, opening her mouth to speak but the words got trapped somewhere behind her teeth and wouldn't come out. She closed her eyes and took another deep breath in an attempt to calm her nerves.

"I'm pregnant" she confessed, eyes still closed, too afraid to witness his response. She opened them at last to find his gaze had never left her face and his eyes were empty of everything but love. He shook his head slightly, a proud smirk tilting the edge of his mouth. The string that tethered them just gained an unbreakable tensile strength with those two words. He stood up then pulled her up out of her seat, being careful not to bump her head on the doorframe as she exited the car.

He pulled her to him and held her whispering his promise once more into her hair as he placed a kiss on her temple "I will."

He hadn't even asked her if it was his baby. She didn't want to break away from his safe embrace but she needed him to know that it was. She tilted her head back to look up into his eyes to tell him and found his unspoken question there.

She nodded her head, "it was the night I came to Truncheon. I only found out yesterday myself and then, well..." Her voice trailed off as she saw the truth dawning in his eyes.

Those marks on her neck and her jaw and the others he had not yet seen were because of a baby he had made with her. It wasn't his fault and yet she knew he would blame himself but this was a secret she couldn't keep for much longer, one more month and she'd be beginning to show and her morning sickness would quickly give her away. No, this was right, he needed to know. She saw his eyes withdraw before she felt his arms loosening their bind around her. He turned and walked away. He made it as far as the end of the neat row of cars in their section then just stood there running his hands through his hair in an agitated manner, messing up his already disheveled waves. She stood still as a statue watching, waiting, her eyes never leaving him. After several minutes he turned and walked back to her. He locked up the car, took her bag from her to sling over his own shoulder and grasped her small hand in his own.

"Let's go make sure you and our baby are okay" he said as they stepped away from the car in the direction of the hospital entry. For now he would deal with what he could control. There would be time to deal with Forester later.

Several hours later Rory had been thoroughly checked over and despite being slightly dehydrated from her morning sickness had no physical injuries aside from the telltale bruises of the events of the night before. They gave her some IV fluids for the dehydration and a script for some mild sedatives in case she needed help to sleep that night. The baby was fine and they were able to see the tiny shape on the screen and hear it's steady heartbeat - healthy and strong. The circumstances were far from ideal but in that moment, with their child's heartbeat echoing around the room, Rory and Jess shared a kiss The nurse was very discreet about Rory's bruises, giving her a selection of information pamphlets including information about applying for a restraining order. Rory tucked them away into her purse, she would look at them later when she was ready. Right now all she wanted to do was have her IV removed, put her own clothes back on and get back on the road.

The sun was already setting as they rounded the turnpike, returning to the highway that would take them back to Philly. There was a bitter chill in the air as they walked the short distance from the car to Jess's apartment. The words remained unspoken but it was her home too now. It had been a long and exhausting day for them both and despite the still early hour they were happy for it to be over so they could let tomorrow begin. Rory changed into her fleece pyjamas and snuggled herself down beneath the comforter, waiting for Jess to join her. She was sound asleep when his weight eventually hit the bed beside her. He kissed her sleeping face and whispered "I love you" before finding his own comfortable position and surrendering himself to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

**_A/N sincerest thanks to ImagineBackstory for your review, I hope you enjoy this next chapter :)_**

**Chapter 8**

**The Weight of Waiting**

Almost a week had gone by since Jess had brought Rory back to stay with him in his apartment. Life was almost ordinary for them if you didn't look too closely at the shadows beneath his eyes or the fog behind hers. They had slipped effortlessly into a daily routine in which Jess would wake her with coffee and breakfast before heading down to his shop to work. Rory had arranged to work from home for the time being, having disclosed her pregnancy to her boss which was necessary but still felt wrong considering she had yet to share this life altering piece of news with her own mother. Lorelai knew something was up with her daughter but, with Luke's support and encouragement and her due date fast approaching, was trying her best not to pry and waiting patiently for Rory to open up in her own time. In the evenings they took turns making simple meals and enjoying each other's company watching movies or reading books.

There was often an easy kind of silence between them. Sometimes she would catch Jess looking at her with an indistinguishable look in his eyes that she couldn't interpret and usually was followed by him going out for a walk or shutting himself in his office for a spell but he always came back to her, his eyes returned to the warm gaze he reserved just for her. During these times Rory found herself doing some thinking of her own. She needed to finalise things with Dean which meant speaking to him at the very least but hopefully she would not need to see him ever again. She wanted him to move out of what had originally been her apartment and was rightfully hers as they had never got around to putting his name on the lease. She wanted him to promise to never come near her again and understand that if he ever broke that promise she would press charges against him for assault, the kind nurse at the hospital in Elizabeth had encouraged her to allow her to take photographs of Rory's bruises to keep in her confidential file in case she changed her mind down the track and Rory was grateful to her for her advice.

At some point she needed to go home, to her real home, to her mum and to Luke, to tell them the whole story. The secrets were weighing too heavily upon her and waiting for the right time to disclose them was an impossible task as there were no right or wrong rules to follow here and her gut was too conflicted with pregnancy hormones to be considered a reliable source. She was never really going to be ready to have this conversation but she knew the further along her pregnancy progressed the more difficult it was going to be. She didn't doubt her mothers love, or Luke's either. Nor did she doubt that they would be supportive once they knew the entire story. So what was she so afraid of? In the pit of her stomach she had the same sinking feeling she got whenever she saw that look in Jess's eyes before he would walk away from her - a look that was somewhere between pity and fear. She didn't think she was strong enough to see that look in Luke's eyes. She knew she wasn't ready to see it in mother's eyes that had always been a mirror image of her own. It would break her heart to tarnish that pristine blue in such a way but there was no other choice. She had to do it. Tomorrow she decided. Tomorrow she would go and share her burden before the weight of waiting crushed her beyond repair.

It had been a steady week for him at Truncheon which fortunately kept his mind from wandering too deeply into choices that weren't his to make. He smiled to himself as he locked the door, thinking back over this last week and how easy it was to be with Rory. Despite everything that still needed to be addressed and sorted, they had adopted such an easy, steady rhythm, complementing rather than completing each other, with mutual respect for their occasional need for personal space alongside the comfort of a loving embrace at the end of the day. He knew he could do this forever and the thought didn't scare him at all as it would have his younger self. Every now and then he would have a flashback to a time in his life that he had never spoken to anyone about - Luke, because it would've crushed him if he knew, Rory because there had just never been a time to share it, and there just wasn't anyone else important enough in his life to have divulged the secrets of his past to. He'd never even had a real friend before Rory. He'd never had a real family before Luke.

As a kid he'd moved around a lot. Different city, although all roads always seemed to lead them back to New York, different dreary apartment, different deadbeat boyfriend/daddy substitute, different punishment, different escape. The only constant in his life had been his mum and that was hardly something to rejoice about. He'd been pretty happy and oblivious until around the age of 6 when one particularly nasty piece of work had thrown his mother clear across the living room of their basement flat, knocking her out cold as her head hit the bedroom doorframe. He remembered standing over her trying to wake her up, trying to help her, to protect her while this man her mother had been seeing for the last few months packed up their few valuables and walked out the door, leaving Liz where she'd fallen, still unconscious.

They didn't even have a telephone back then and he was too afraid to leave her there alone so he just sat there watching her, comforted by the gentle rise and fall of her chest that allowed him to tell himself she was just sleeping. When it got dark he brought blankets through from the bedroom and snuggled under them beside her and fell asleep. That was how he was when the neighbour found them a short time later. He couldn't handle the shouting. The neighbour was yelling at him calling him stupid, telling him his mum was going to die because of him, because he hadn't gotten help. He shut himself into the bathroom, the only room in the flat with a working lock, and hid there until silence had once again taken over the apartment.

He slowly opened the door to an empty room. Liz was gone. He double checked the bedroom and the kitchen but she was nowhere to be found. The neighbour must've taken her to get help. He cried himself to sleep that night on the pile of blankets still warm from where his mother had been sleeping just a short while earlier. 2 days later she returned home as if nothing had even happened and he never dared bring it up. The very same man who had hurt her and stolen from them was back around that night for dinner and was still there the next morning when Jess let himself out the door to catch his bus to school. One thing had changed though, he could see it in his mother's eyes. There was a mask there now that hadn't been there before and it was his fault because he hadn't been able to protect her or help her. He'd seen that same look in Rory's eyes the night of his uncle's wedding and, although he now understood that he was not the cause of it with his mother 2 decades ago, it took him right back to that room and those musty blankets and the fear and the helplessness of that moment in his life.

10 years later when his mother sent him away to Stars Hollow he was finally able to let his guard down and what started out as a punishment became his redemption. He had finally found people who truly valued and cared for him, trusted and loved him. This past week he had spent his solitary walks trying to make peace with his past so he would be able to look Rory in the eye and truly be there for her without feeling the urge to flee. He spent his time in his office putting pen to paper, writing away all the words unspoken, trying to cleanse himself of the guilt and the pain so he could move on once and for all. The weight was slowly lifting as he put the past behind him.

He switched of the last light and made his way up the stairs to Rory. She rose to meet him as he entered through the front door, she'd been waiting for him. She stepped into his welcoming arms as he asked her how her day had been. In that instant that might have been any other ordinary couple trading platitudes about their day over dinner and they both smiled as the thought crossed their minds simultaneously. She tilted her head back, inviting him to kiss her briefly before uttering the words she'd been waiting all afternoon to speak aloud.

"Tomorrow. I'm going to tell them tomorrow."

"Okay," he whispered as he kissed her once more before setting her free from his embrace.

He walked over to the table which she had set for dinner, trying to contain the heaviness in his chest as he waited for her to tell him she was going to go alone. He loved her independence and was relieved to see it returning but at the same time he was afraid she would no longer need him and he was merely a shelter from this particular storm in her life. He remembered the baby and the weight on his chest lifted slightly. She would always be in his life in some capacity, their child would seal that fate. He had to let her go, to do this her own way, and trust that she'd return on her own. He would not be like Dean, trapping her, crushing her wings while tying her to the front porch rail of their white picket fenced house in the suburbs.

"Just promise me you'll call me when you get there," he turned to meet her eyes, finding relief in them that he understood that this was something she needed to do on her own.


	9. Chapter 9

_**A/N a slightly shorter chapter here but I didn't want to leave you hanging after the last one which was pretty intense. Next chapter will likely be a longer one to balance this one out. I hope you're still enjoying my story. Thanks for reading :)**_

**Chapter 9**

**Kisses and Confessions**

It was sometime around 3 in the morning when she changed her mind. She rolled over to face Jess, gently waking him by running her fingertips across his forehead. When his eyes flickered open to rest on her face she confessed.

"I need you to come with me. I don't want to drive all that way on my own or I won't go through with it."

He nodded in agreement in his sleepy state. It made sense for him to go with her for the drive, he needed to collect his car anyway. He said as much to her then suggested he would wait for her at the bridge while she talked to her mum. The look of relief that washed over her previously concerned face was all the answer he needed. Kissing her briefly on her mouth he rolled over to check the time before turning back to her to find her eyes already drifting shut. With an arm around her waist he too quickly fell back to sleep. They would have plenty of time to make plans after sunrise.

For a change it was Jess who was awoken by the sound of pans and some not so quiet cursing in the kitchen. The bed next to him was empty and cold. He pulled his shirt over his head as he crept toward the bedroom door, hoping to catch a glimpse of the culprit before she realised he was awake and watching her. She hadn't really begun to show yet, not in a way anyone but her lover would notice anyway. Standing in the kitchen in her short singlet and fleece pyjama pants her could just detect the slight swell of her lower abdomen and the definite change in her breasts. She had never looked more beautifully dishevelled and he couldn't keep himself from her for another minute.

"Good morning beautiful" he whispered as he snuck up behind her while she stood at the sink, looking out the window.

He kissed her in the sweet spot behind her ear that he'd discovered all those years ago, unable to contain his smirk as it triggered the same response as it had when she was an innocent 17 year old. The blush rose up her neck spreading across her cheeks and he traced its path with kisses leading the way to her lips. She sighed into his mouth, turning to face him properly and wrapped her arms around his neck, her fingers immediately becoming tangled in his hair.

"Shower?" he asked, one eyebrow raised, more an invitation than a question really.

She placed her hand in his and allowed him to lead the way. They spent the next hour forgetting about the world outside their tiny apartment, ignoring today's to do list.

Later, as she was untangling herself from the sheets in a bid to get up and dressed before too much more of the morning slipped away, Jess spoke, breaking the silence of the last quarter hour.

"No matter what happens today, I love you. Don't ever forget that. I will not run away this time. If you run away I will be right here waiting for you to come back to me when you're ready." It was a long speech for him and a testament to how much he had changed and grown over their years apart and she believed every word.

"I love you too Jess. Thank you for everything. Those words just don't seem to be enough but that's all I have so, thank you. I don't know what I'd have done if you'd not picked up your phone when I called you last week. All I know is, right now, we need to get dressed and get on the road before I change my mind all together and then I'll have to build myself up to this all over again tomorrow and as much as I would happily repeat this last hour with you I'd rather do that with less mess in my head."

They quickly got the last of their things together for the trip back to Stars Hollow, packing an overnight bag just in case, and we're on the road by 10am. Rory called ahead once they were driving through Hartford to be sure her mum would be home when she got there. Jess parked the car near the bridge and got out, waiting for Rory to come around to take the driver's seat. He held her to him for the longest time. He kissed her forehead then looked deeply into her eyes before letting her go.

"I'm right here if you need me," he reminded her as she settled herself into her seat, latching her seatbelt as he closed the door for her.

"I love you Rory."

He stood and watched her drive away until he could no longer see the silvery blue of her car. He turned to make his way along the bridge to that old familiar spot. Pulling a book that he knew he wouldn't be able to focus on from his pocket he sat there engulfed in the silence, impatiently waiting.


	10. Chapter 10

_**A/N I only started writing this story 3 days ago and can't quite believe I'm up to a tenth chapter already. I'm back to work tomorrow so I'm not sure how frequently I'll be updating then but I'll try my best to keep it flowing. I appreciate and value any and all feedback so please leave a review, share your thoughts with me. Thank you for sticking it out this far, I hope you enjoy this chapter :)**_

**Chapter 10**

**The Secret Keeper**

Rory's face was wet with tears before she even switched off the engine in the driveway of her childhood home. The sight of her mother sitting on the front porch steps waiting for her was more than her fragile state could bear and she crumbled. For the first time in their lives their greeting was a silent one. Rory bent down to hug her mum then helped her up from the stairs to get a proper look at Lorelai's baby bump then the tears became a torrent.

Lorelai put her arm around her daughter's waist and ushered her inside. Speechless for once in her life, a million thoughts however were running through her mind. Many of them came back to Jess based on his track record and the fact that she'd only seen her daughter twice since the wedding - the wedding at which they'd been reunited after 4 years. Maybe she'd come to tell her she'd ended it with Dean. None of her possible scenarios fit however with the state her daughter was in. This was beyond the Founders Day punch incident, the only other time she'd ever seen her strong, composed daughter so overcome with despair, and she knew that this time there was no toxic cocktail involved so whatever Rory had to share with her must've been worse than a trivial heartache.

When they'd spoken on the phone yesterday her voice had sounded false and then when she asked for it just to be the two of them to talk, not Luke for now, alarm bells rang in her head. She kept her own voice calm and it was only later that night, wrapped in her husband's arms, that she let her worry out, halving her burden by sharing it with the man she loved.

Luke was equally concerned but prepared to do whatever Rory needed him to do and if that was to stay away then that's exactly what he would do, for now. In the back of his mind was the look on his nephew's face a little over a week ago as he had handed Luke his car keys before walking away to God knows where. If Jess had done something to hurt Rory again Luke didn't know what he would do. He loved them both like they were his own children. In his sensitive heart though, the one he hid behind his flannel shirt and prickly demeanour, he knew that Jess loved Rory and hurting her in the past was the thing that haunted him and made him the writer he was today. He had grown up. Despite his faith in his nephew however, Luke felt certain Rory's phone call involved him somehow. He just hoped they didn't break each other's hearts again.

The Gilmore girls sat side by side on the lounge in silence. Lorelai waiting patiently for her daughter to speak. Rory trying to decided where exactly to start. Looking into her mother's eyes she carefully removed her scarf to reveal the remnants of the bruises on her neck. They had mostly faded now, just pale yellow shadows remained where the red welts had been. She lifted her shirt to show a similar yellow hue at the base of her ribs too but the look in her mum's eyes stopped her from showing her anymore.

"Did Jess do this to you?" she exploded, rising from the chair, her previous pep talk to herself about remaining composed and supportive going out the window as soon as Rory had removed that secret shielding scarf.

"That little punk. How could he do this to you?"

She paced the room, her hand quickly moving to support her back as if she was suddenly reminded of her 7 month baby bump. Furious, frustrated tears fell from her blue eyes. From her place on the chair Rory finally spoke.

"It wasn't Jess mum. It was Dean. Dean did this to me. Dean did this to me twice. I was so ashamed and I didn't know how to tell you and I didn't want you to look at me differently and I was just so afraid of everything changing and nothing is ever going to be the same again is it?"

Rory buried her head in her hands, no longer sobbing, numbness taking over her once again as it had that last night in her New Haven bathroom, surrounded by bath towels, frozen from the inside out.

Lorelai brought herself back to sit by her daughter's side. Returned her arm to her daughter's shoulders and taking a deep breath and sighing it out asked -

"will you start at the beginning for me here kid? My brain doesn't know which way is up lately with these baby hormones and honestly right now my head is in a spin. Dean did this to you? Dean?".

She would forever be haunted by the look in her baby's eyes at that moment but she was determined not to let it show for fear of Rory withdrawing again and not saying all the things she'd come here to say.

"Oh Rory," she sighed again pulling her beautiful broken girl to her side, "tell mummy what happened so I can try and help you fix it."

Once Rory began the words came out surprisingly easily. She started at the beginning as her mum had asked, right back with Dean showing up on her doorstep which now in hindsight seemed strange in itself - how had he known how to find her? They'd not spoken for years before that day, barely even seen each other after he had dumped her in her grandparents driveway. She told her about the verbal abuse and Jess's book, ignoring the way her mother cringed at the mention of that name, as if she was already piecing the rest of the story together in her mind. She told her the real reason Dean hadn't been at the wedding and then she told her what had happened with Jess. She paused for a moment to gauge her mother's reaction to all that she'd shared so far but with a brief nod of her head, and a small reassuring smile Lorelai encouraged her to continue and so she did. She told her about the stomach flu and the trip to the doctor and the last time she had seen Dean. She told her the baby was Jess's and that she had been living with him in Philadelphia since that night. She told her her plans for getting Dean to move out and her decision to not press charges for now. She finished on a sigh and felt a weight lifted from her shoulders. Her mother simply shook her head and held her daughter in her arms trying to come up with the right thing to say.

Rory's news had completely thrown Lorelai. She hardly knew where to begin. Dean? Jess? A baby? Her baby was having a baby?

"Congratulations," was the word she chose.

The smile that lit her daughter's face for the first time in her visit assured her she had found the right word and this baby was in fact the silver lining in this entire nasty mess. She wasn't going to chastise her for cheating on Dean, hell Dean deserved far worse than that, this was not a time to point out Rory's mistakes. She had done that once before where Dean was involved and it had driven a wedge between them that had taken months to fully extract. As for Jess, well she guessed now was as good a time as any to give him that second chance her daughter had always begged her for. Oddly enough she didn't find it difficult at all to imagine Jess as a father, he had so many of Luke's wonderful qualities buried at the bottom of his baggage. Rory was the only one who'd been able to unpack them in the past and maybe with a baby to love and to love him they would remain out on display for others to experience too.

Luke! How was she ever going to find the words to explain this to Luke? Rory was an innocent angel in his eyes, how was he going to react to knowing how Dean had hurt her? Her mind took her back to the bop it incident and she shuddered to think what Luke might do to Dean now in light of recent events, this was so far beyond the trivialities of hogging the popcorn and underage drinking. She would have to tread carefully there that was for sure. For now she would remain the secret keeper. Leaving Rory on the chair one more time Lorelai made her way into the kitchen, raiding her secret stash of junk food and filling two large platters with an assortment of their favourites. Returning back into the lounge she placed the food on the coffee table, picked up the remote and there they sat in silence, arms around each other, eating their weight in sugar while watching Johnny and Baby move around the dance floor.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

**Partial Disclosure**

Jess sat alone with his thoughts on the bridge for an hour or so before standing up, returning his unopened book to his pocket and walking in the direction of Luke's. He told himself he just needed to get his car but deep down he knew he needed to talk. The bell over the door alerted his uncle to his arrival and the look on his face must've alerted him to the secrets he was keeping. Luke called back into the kitchen for someone to cover him and followed behind his nephew who was already through the curtain and heading up the stairs to their old home.

Luke grasped his fist in his opposite palm in a nervous, agitated manner. Jess ran his hands through his hair for the hundredth time that day avoiding his uncle's questioning gaze. Now that he was here he didn't know what to say. He didn't know how Rory would feel if she told Luke about what Dean had done to her, after all it wasn't his story to tell. He pulled out a chair at the old dining table, slumping into it as he had as a teenager. He looked over to Luke where he stood at the sink and decided he could tell him his part of the story.

Looking back to the table where his hands lay restlessly tapping a tuneless beat he took a deep breath and with a slight shake of his head the words "Rory's pregnant" came tumbling out of his mouth. He looked back to see his uncle's face change between pride, relief, anger and confusion.

"This is the good news part of the story Luke," he assured him. "Maybe I should've opened with that, huh?"

Luke couldn't contain his shock at first but then he came to sit beside his nephew at the table, raising his eyebrows at him in an attempt to encourage further explanation. Jess told him about what happened after the wedding, keeping it clean out of respect for both Rory and his uncle. He told him about Rory coming to see him in Philly 3 months later and the recent discovery of her pregnancy. He told him he loved her and was committed to this child and to Rory. He told him everything he felt he could but he left out the biggest factor in it all - Dean - and without that missing puzzle piece the story was adding up to look like Jess had screwed up yet again.

Luke shook his head, still processing what Jess had just told him. Rory and Jess. A baby. Lorelai was going to kill Jess when she found out! Did Lorelai know any of this? How would he keep this from her? He couldn't possibly keep this from her.

Snapping out of his reverie he put it to Jess, "does Lorelai know?"

Jess nodded in affirmation.

"Rory's over there now."

Luke jumped up from the table to head for the door but Jess's hand on his arm stopped him from running straight home to check on his wife and somehow minimise the stress of such an announcement. She was due in less than 2 months and stress was not good for the baby.

"Luke, there's more to the story but it's not mine to tell. Rory wanted to talk to her mum on her own and I had to respect that and you do too."

Luke stared blankly at this strange man inhabiting his nephew's body. He knew he had grown up and changed in the time between his mother's wedding and now. He was now overcome with pride and a deep conviction that he and Rory would make it work this time. His nephew was going to be a father. Hell, he was about to become one himself, well to a newborn anyway not a ready made teenager as had been the case with April and to a degree with Jess too. They were both standing now, 2 feet from the doorway.

Luke pulled his nephew into a firm embrace saying "congratulations" as he released him with an awkward slap on his shoulder.

"So I guess now we wait?" he asked.

"Yep," was Jess's reply.

The monosyllabic answer brought instant relief to them both. They closed the door behind them as they walked back down to the diner. Luke got back to work while Jess sat himself down at a table in the back corner. He pulled out his book for the second time that day only this time when he flipped it open he was able to focus on the words this time. He sat there reading and waiting, knowing that Rory would call him when she was ready.

As the closing credits rolled across the screen Rory and Lorelai stretched simultaneously causing them to both burst into laughter.

"I've missed you kid," Lorelai confessed, kissing her daughter on the forehead.

Rory smiled back at her "I've missed you too."

"There's one more thing I need to tell you," she continued. "Jess is here, he drove here with me so he could get his car and has been waiting for me to call him when we've had our talk. Are you okay with me calling him now?"

Lorelai settled herself back into the lounge as she nodded in agreement and waited while Rory found her phone and dialled his number. He picked up on the second ring and Rory could tell by the background noise that he was at Luke's.

"Ready?" he asked her.

"Ready." she replied.

Her mother rolled her eyes in jest, something's it seemed hadn't changed at all and she found that reassuring.

"Do you want to see if Luke can get away for a bit?" Rory asked him. "We might as well finish what we came here for."

"I already told him a little bit of the story Ror. Only those that were mine too to tell. None of the rest."

She understood and nodded redundantly into the phone.

"See you soon then?" she asked.

"Okay," he replied before ending the call.

He rose from his table, returning his book to his pocket for the second time that day and went to tell Luke their women were waiting for them.


	12. Chapter 12

**_A/N thank you for your reviews lovely readers. _****_To Nancy, I hope this meets your expectations :)_**

**Chapter 12**

**The Missing Pieces**

Walking up the porch steps to the Gilmore house with Luke by his side sent a chill up Jess's spine as he remembered the last time they had walked up these stairs together. His fate had been sealed that night with one look into the pure blue eyes of the girl with the book collection he'd wished was his own. Now he had hris own collection, he no longer coveted hers, that much had changed. The feeling he had felt that night when she'd smiled at him, her face rosy in indignation or perhaps bashfulness as she told him off in her own sweet persuasive way and convinced him to stay and eat. At the time he didn't know he had already fallen for her, he'd had no experience of such an emotion to compare it to. He knew he wanted to spend every spare minute dissecting each and every volume on her shelf so he could read her thoughts between the lines of text. He smiled as he remembered a different moment in time when she had admitted that he knew her better than anyone. The same was true of her. He had to stop thinking in terms of what she deserved because he would always come up short but what she wanted, well, he felt reasonably confident he was at the top of that list and he was determined not to disappoint her this time around.

They found Lorelai and Rory at the kitchen table, hands innocently clutching bottles of water but the empty mugs in the sink gave their secret away. Luke kissed his wife and gave her pregnant belly an affectionate pat before pulling out the seat next to her. Jess rounded the table to sit by Rory's side, squeezing her hand in his. The four of them sat there in silence momentarily before Luke couldn't take it anymore and stood up abruptly from the table, causing the two bottles of water to fall over and three sets of eyes to turn to him.

"I need to know what's going on here," he spoke in an even tone, not wanting to make the situation any more awkward than it already was.

"Luke, sweetie, I think you really need to sit down for this," Lorelai urged, reaching out to hold his hand and encourage him back into the seat beside her.

Jess looked at Rory, his eyebrow raised in a silent query. She shook her head slightly in response, this was her story to tell, she would not make Jess be the one to tell it. With Jess on one side with his arm draped protectively around her shoulders and Lorelai on the other side holding her hand she took yet another deep breath, there had been so many of those in these last few days and weeks, and began to explain to Luke the parts of the story Jess had left out.

At first Luke did not know how to process the missing pieces of the story. He was torn between wanting to get in his car and find Dean and rip his head off and reaching across the table to hold his step daughter in his arms and assure her that she would be safe now. He should've seen this coming. He'd seen that anger in Dean's eyes after they'd broken up the last time when they had worked together at the Twickham House. He should have told Rory when he first found out they were seeing each other again. He had failed her. His indecision rendered him immobile so he just sat there, silently processing the unthinkable details Rory had just revealed.

Rory sat in silence opposite Luke, waiting, trying to gauge his reaction to what she'd just told him but he was now sitting still as a stone statue and his face was giving nothing away. She looked at her mum to find her smiling at her in a reassuring way. She knew her Luke and he just needed time with this. Lorelai gestured to Jess to take Rory into her room. It had been a long day for all of them and Rory looked ready for sleep despite the still early hour. Jess rose first, leading the way into Rory's old bedroom, noting that it hadn't changed one bit from that first night he had stepped foot in it. He tucked Rory under the covers then sat down next to her.

"Are you okay?" he asked her.

She nodded as tears began to fall making messy patterns down her cheeks.

"I'm so proud of you Rory. Do you know that? You may not feel like it right now but you are so strong. You will get past this, I know it."

She rested her head back into her familiar pillow closing her eyes, comforted by his words. This had been one of the hardest days of her life. They hadn't got around to making plans for her apartment or how to deal with Dean but there were no secrets anymore and that in itself brought with it some relief.

Lorelai led the still mute Luke up the stairs to their bedroom in the hope that he might open up to her about what was going through his mind. She was confused at first when she saw him taking a pad of paper and a pen from her dresser then she realised he was going to write a list. Her heart melted at the determined look on his face, the rawness of his love for her daughter. Placing a hand over her swollen belly she felt suddenly overcome with the emotions of the day and the brave, supportive facade she'd been holding together since Rory walked up the porch steps several hours ago now crumbled down around her. She let Luke hold her and lead her to the bed, tucking her in under the covers, being careful to prop her up so the baby wasn't putting too much weight on her heart. Pen and paper still in hand, he sat down beside her on the bed and together they started to make a plan for the next few days, starting with him and Jess going to New Haven to confront Dean.

After their timeout they all reconvened in the kitchen, taking up the same places at the table that they'd left only an hour or so earlier. Luke called the diner to let them know he wouldn't be back in tonight and to organise cover for the next few days. He started piecing together a dinner that no one really felt like eating. The girls settled themselves back in front of the TV again. Luke grabbed 2 beers from the fridge and gestured to the back door, Jess followed him out there happy for the fresh air despite its cold bitter edge.

Rolling down his sleeves and tucking his arms into his armpits in an attempt to stay warm he looked at his uncle and asked "so what's the plan?"

Luke took a long draw from his bottle, swallowing the cold beer down. He looked back at Jess and began to tell him the idea he and Lorelai had for tomorrow - for him and Jess to take a little road trip to evict an unwanted house guest. He practically spat out the last word. Dean had done something unforgivable - worse than marrying one woman when he loved another, worse than cheating on his wife, worse than humiliating Rory when the entire town found out about the affair. No this time he had crossed a line that could never be erased.

Jess didn't have any struggle empathising with his uncle's outrage. If his behaviour seemed less vehement it was only because he'd had more time to process this and he also had to consider Rory and the baby and him losing control over someone like Dean was not going to help anyone. To steal Hyland's term, Dean was a smudge and he was not worth their time or energy. Going with Luke tomorrow did seem to be the best idea as they would each keep the other in check while hopefully being menacing enough to get their message across.

Lorelai wrapped a blanket around her now sleeping daughter. She felt so old all of a sudden. It had been a very long and emotional day. Snuggling down beside her as best she could she closed her eyes and gave into sleep herself. This was how their men found them. Luke gently picked up his wife to carry her upstairs to her bed. Jess switched off the TV and the lights and sat in the silent room for a while.

Jess didn't even realise he was crying until a tear splashed against the back of his hand. He'd meant what he'd said earlier, he was so proud of this strong beautiful woman now sleeping so peacefully beside him. He wished he were half as strong. Sitting there in the dark he could not ignore the thought that he'd been pushing aside for the last 5 months. The question he kept asking himself but was too afraid to ask her - had she run to him because she wanted to be with him or was he just a means of escaping Dean? They'd been here once before when she was seeing that blonde dick from Yale and she had come to him, not because she wanted to be with him but out of some kind of desire to punish her boyfriend for cheating on her. It took him a long time to move on from that night. There was a lot of alcohol involved and it hadn't been pretty. That had been the last time he had seen her prior to Luke and Lorelai's wedding. Now here they were again in what could easily be compared as a similar circumstance only this time he hadn't walked away, he had given in to a lust that had plagued him for the best part of a decade, he had let her use him to dull the pain of her reality and in doing so had reignited every feeling for her he had tried so hard to bury. Yes, there was a baby now and he would always stay and be a father to his child but what if, when the dust settles, Rory decides she made a mistake? What if she didn't want to be with him after all? That was the problem with loving someone the way he loved her - it wouldn't take much for her to completely destroy him. He wasn't as strong as her and he didn't know if he'd survive the impact.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

**The Best Laid Plans**

Luke and Jess set out early for New Haven hoping to catch Dean before he left for work. They arrived at the address Rory had give them, Jess realising now was not the time to wonder why Luke had never been there to visit before but it still struck him as odd. After knocking twice and waiting a good ten minutes they decide they must've missed him and let themselves into the apartment with Rory's key. Neither man was surprised to find all signs of Dean's inhabitance removed from the rooms, maybe he wasn't completely obtuse after all. Jess packed a bag for Rory, grabbing what he could for now, knowing that she would be coming back here eventually.

Back in the truck Luke drove two towns over to the new development where he remembered Dean to be working. They had no way of knowing if they'd find him there but didn't have any better option of where to look at this stage. The irony of looking for Rory's abuser amongst this cookie cutter white picket fenced development was not lost on either of them. They drove around in silence until they reached a worksite in progress.

"Now remember what we talked about?" Luke asked his nephew who gave a slight nod in response, anger already blooming behind his eyes giving them a dark edge.

"How about if you stay here while I go ask around?" Jess just shook his head and got out his own door and followed his uncle as he headed in the direction of the workmen.

"Hey, no hat no play!" a middle aged man in a hard hat called out at them as they approached the worksite.

"We're looking for Dean, is he here?" Luke asked, keeping his tone level.

"Sure, I'll just send him over to you, just stay back behind the tape there."

They watched and waited as the man disappeared from view. A few minutes later an unmistakably tall man in a matching hard hat stepped out of the space that would in time be a front door. He faltered when he saw who was waiting there to see him. For a fleeting moment he thought of running but he knew he had to face the music sometime.

Jess's hands were clenched by his sides and it was taking all his will power to stay put. Luke's hand on his shoulder helped. As Dean came within swinging distance however, Jess felt the stress surprisingly leaving his body. Dean looked like hell! His hair was hanging in his eyes but it looked like he hadn't slept for days, maybe even weeks. He used to be pretty solid too but his cheeks were hollow and his clothes looked like he'd borrowed them from a larger mans closet. Jess could not bring himself to feel sorry for this miserable excuse for a human being but a small part of him understood what it felt like to lose Rory Gilmore and it was that part of him that kept him from taking that swing.

Luke apparently saw things differently and before he'd really registered his own decision to back away Jess found himself trying to pull his uncle off Dean before he completely smashed his head into the ground. Shaking his nephew off him, Luke adjusted his baseball cap then tugged down the edges of his flannel shirt, walking around in a circle while he did. He pointed at Dean as he spoke the words he'd been practising in his head the whole drive down here.

"You will not ever see her again. You will not ever speak to her again. You will not ever step foot over the Stars Hollow borderline. You will give me the key to Rory's apartment, lucky for me it seems you've already moved your stuff out so that saves me some work and gives you no reason whatsoever to ever go back there again. You will quit your job here and go back to Chicago where you belong and you will never ever speak a word of this to anyone. Rory doesn't deserve to live her life in shame with people knowing what you did to her. If you at any moment break one of these rules you will find yourself facing charges. There's a hospital file with Rory's details and photographs of her injuries that I'm pretty sure a judge would find quite compelling. You're getting off lightly here, I hope you realise that."

Luke took one final look at Dean where he now sat in a crumpled heap in the gutter.

"Will you at least tell her I'm sorry?" he begged them.

Without a word Luke and Jess climbed into the truck, each slamming their door shut, Luke started the engine and they drove away, leaving Dean exactly where he belonged.

Glancing over at his uncle's hands on the steering wheel, Jess saw blood drying into tiny clots over his knuckles.

"Best laid plans huh?"

Luke kept his eyes on the road and neither of them spoke another word for the entire journey home.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

**173 Miles**

Life had continued on without them while they'd been sorting out this mess but several emails and a few phone messages pulled them back into reality. Jess needed to get back to Truncheon, his inbox was overflowing and Matt was keen to get back to the New York store after covering for him these last few days. Rory had deadlines looming and a new pile of books awaiting her attention on her desk back in New Haven. The time between their mid morning meeting at the bridge and now they had both been living in a bubble. That bubble was about to burst.

Jess was quiet as he sat across the table from Rory, watching her face as Luke shared the events of their road trip to New Haven with her and Lorelai.

"So that's that then," she said, only the slightest hint of a question in her words.

"That's it Rory," Luke assured her, "You never have to worry about Dean hurting you again."

She quietly thanked him before excusing herself from the table. Jess made to follow her but she turned back to halt his movement. She needed some time on her own to think, to process, to plan. She gave him a pleading look, hoping he would understand. He lifted her hand to his mouth, placing a gentle kiss into her palm before releasing it back, letting her go. Jess watched Rory leave and on hearing the click of the door closing he turned to Lorelai and Luke.

"We done here?" he asked.

Lorelai detected a slight barb to his tone, taking her back in time to the 17 year old version of this man who stood before her now. She hadn't really heard his side in all of this but the look she saw in his eyes as he watched Rory walk away from him just now told its own story. Without waiting for a reply, he rose from his chair and crossed the kitchen, grabbing a beer from the fridge on his way to the back door.

"Feels like we've been here before doesn't it?"

Jess turned to find Lorelai standing next to him. Nodding in awkward agreement, he holds her gaze a moment before shrugging his shoulders and looking back out across the yard. "Not so much the same though now is it?" she continued on rhetorically.

"I mean for starters, you're old enough to drink that." motioning to the beer in his hand that he was still yet to take his first sip of.

"You fell for Rory that day, I saw it happen and my mother's instinct kicked in with raging alarm bells and red flags. We didn't get off to a very good start that day, you and I."

Jess was still looking out at the yard as she continued but he was listening, interested to know which direction her rambling would take them.

"I hope to think I have a better idea of who you really are now Jess. The two people I love more than anything else in this world both love you and that has to count for something, right?"

Finally Jess moves his head, ever so slightly, checking Lorelai's face for insincerity but he finds none there.

"She just needs time Jess." she continues. "She loves you, I can see that now and I actually think you make a good team, especially after seeing how caring and supportive you have been. As much as it hurt to know she hadn't felt like she could come to me first, I'm glad she had you to go to. This is not a pleasant situation you've found yourself entangled in but the way that you've stepped up and supported my daughter puts you right near the top of my list of favourite things - not quite up there with coffee and Luke, but still, you're right up there."

The two of them stood in silence then Lorelai placed her hand on Jess's shoulder to turn him to face her to shed one final thought.

"She loves you Jess. Just give her time."

She headed back inside leaving Jess alone once again with his thoughts.

Rory left the house without any thought as to where she was headed, she just needed to be on her own for a while. Her hand seemed to naturally navigate to her abdomen, absentmindedly protecting this new life that was growing inside her. She let the tears fall from her eyes as she walked, her mind busy with decisions yet to be made. She could see their faces if she closed her eyes, the way they had all looked at her just now as they sat around the table in the kitchen that had always been such a cheerful happy place. They tried their best but the pity was there and she didn't know if she would ever be able to erase that from her memory.

She'd seen that look in her mother's eyes once before. They'd been in that kitchen then too. Dean had just sheepishly walked out the back door while Rory tried desperately to smooth down her hair and straighten her clothes. Was that the moment? Was that the point at which everything started to go wrong? What if she'd just said yes to Jess when he'd showed up to her dorm room? All her boxes were already packed, she had the entire summer wide open, what if she'd said yes and run away with him then? He'd told her he was ready and she wanted to believe him but her heart was still broken from when he'd left her before and she wasn't ready to take a chance on him again. How different her life might have been if she had.

She shakes her head, mentally chastising herself. No point dwelling on the what might've beens. She'd made her bed and now she had to live with her mistakes. Her hand instantly went back to the place under which her baby quietly lay. Jess's baby. She would never be able to see that as a mistake. She didn't even know if she believed in fate but there was no other word more apt to describe this blessing. Whatever happened, she would never be alone. This baby would never look at her with pity in its eyes, only ever love. She found herself standing on the bridge, an old song entered her mind about all roads leading to home eventually. This place was her home. Lorelai and Luke. This town. This bridge. Jess. Why then did she feel the need to get in her car and drive back to New Haven?

Jess was putting the last of his things into his car when Rory returned from her walk. He needed to get back to work and Rory had her own car so could stay here with her mum a little longer and come join him in Philly when she was ready. He could see in her eyes that she had made a decision while she was gone but he was afraid to look too closely. Instead he pulled her into his arms, holding onto her as if he might never get to again. She returns his embrace, mirroring his fervour, only pulling away to wipe a fresh cascade of tears from her face and kiss the worry from his.

"Good walk?" he asked her, risking his heart by looking into the depths of her blue eyes once more.

"I've decided I'm going to go back to New Haven," she responded quietly, averting her eyes.

Jess needn't ask for confirmation, the use of "I'm" already speaking loud and clear that this would be a solo outing and he was not invited. He kissed her one last time before letting her go. The only word he spoke was "okay" as he climbed into his car, started the engine and once again found himself running away from this beautiful woman who had once again broken his heart. He would call Luke when he got there, apologise for leaving without saying goodbye. Platitudes could wait. It was his turn to need time to think now. He cranked the radio the whole way to Philly to prevent just that. It didn't escape his notice however the feeling that while he was driving towards Philly he was getting further away from his home.


	15. Chapter 15

**_A/N thankyou for everyone who's still with me and especially to those who've taken the time to leave a review, I'm encouraged by your feedback and hope you enjoy this next chapter. I was quite upset myself with how the last chapter needing and didn't want to leave Rory or Jess hanging like that :( hopefully this makes up for it a little :)_**

**Chapter 15**

**Changing the Rules**

He'd only been home an hour when he heard the phone ringing. He ignored it the first time, unwilling to move himself from where he'd collapsed on his bed after walking through his apartment door. The second time he went so far as to sit up but made no further attempt toward the living room where he knew he'd dropped his phone on the armchair. He lay back on the bed trying to ignore the concern in his gut that maybe something had happened to Rory. The third time it rang his feet had a mind of their own as they propelled him through his bedroom door, his hand reaching for the shrilling piece of plastic, silencing it on the forth ring.

"Just checking you got home safe," came her voice over the line.

He smiled to himself, a little ray of hope igniting inside his chest at the knowledge that she was worried about him too.

"I'll survive" he replied, knowing she would understand the true meaning beneath his words, relief washing over him as he realised the truth to them himself. Determined to do things differently this time he apologised.

"I'm sorry for leaving like that Rory. I just needed my own time to think."

"How's that working out for you so far?" she queried.

"Well so far there's been more procrastination around thought than actual thought but I plan to get down to it real soon."

She couldn't help but smile, he was still there, her Jess, she was so scared she'd ruined everything again but she could here the love in his voice.

When he hadn't stayed to let her explain why she needed to go back to New Haven alone she was overcome by a torrent of tears. Her mother had found her in a state, sobbing out every last tear she had left at the end of the driveway.

"He's gone" was all she could bring herself to say.

Jess was gone and she hadn't even told him what she'd decided. Lorelai pulled her daughter up to stand, wrapping her arm protectively around her as they headed up the stairs, an echo of Rory's arrival only the tears were for a different reason now. They huddled together on the lounge and eventually the tears stopped and Rory told her mother what she'd decided on her walk.

"I just need to finish up and leave there on my terms," she explained. "I was making a life for myself there - my lovely little apartment, my job, my Lulu's. I just need to go back and say goodbye to it all before I can move on. I was going to apply for work in Philadelphia or maybe I could try and get some freelance work for a while. I've got enough saved to manage for a while without a new job to go to. 2 weeks. 2 weeks is all I need and then I can start over. I needed to explain I need a new beginning. I needed to explain he is my new beginning."

Lorelai listened attentively, letting her daughter finish before offering her own thoughts on the matter.

"I think that's a great plan hun, really I do. I also think right now that man of yours is feeling very much like the boy who lost you once before and is terrified it's going to happen again and he ran to try to avoid the hurt." Rory's eyes grew larger as Lorelai continued on, "we had a talk while you were out. Well mostly I talked but I know he was listening and I know what he was trying to say through his silence - he loves you so deeply Rory. I know how hard it has been for me to hear what Dean did to you and for Luke too but I think, of the three of us, it has affected Jess the most. I don't really know any details but I always had the impression Jess had a pretty difficult childhood and the haunting look in his eyes tells me that your situation has stirred up a lot of bad memories for him. He needed to be the rescuer here but he stepped back because he knew you needed to do this on your terms. You needed to feel strong enough to rescue yourself and he would be there waiting when you were ready for him. My bet is he's still doing exactly that."

Leaving her daughter to think about what she has just shared, Lorelai got up from the chair to head toward the kitchen, all this hurt was making her hungry.

"You know you're always welcome to stay here, whenever and for however long you need. Things will be getting a little busier soon enough," she admitted, gesturing to her baby bump, "but your room is always yours. This home is always yours."

She leant forward to kiss her daughter on the forehead then continued on her way to find some twinkies.

After her chat with her mum Rory felt much calmer. She went into her room to read for a while, eventually falling asleep. Crying was tiring work. When she awoke she checked the time, noting that Jess should have made it back to Philly by now. She sought out her phone and dialled his number, no plan in her mind as to what she would say, just an aching need in her chest to hear his voice. To know he'd made it home safely. To tell him the rest of her plan that he hadn't given her a chance to share.


	16. Chapter 16

**_A/N just a short one here to share Jess's point of view, more soon though :)_**

**Chapter 16**

**Long Distance**

"So you still want to be with me?"

Jess heard himself saying down the phone to Rory, somewhat shocked by his own forwardness, it was definitely not his usual MO but a lot had changed since this woman had walked back into his life in a maid of honour's dress with a face full of tears. If ever there was a time to go all out, this was that time. There was too much at stake here for insecurities. He needed to know where he stood, once and for all. He had listened intently as she'd told him why she wanted to go back to New Haven and while he was concerned about her facing the memories that would be lurking in the shadows, waiting for her in her apartment there, he knew she would call him if she needed him.

Mild relief ran through his muscles and he felt himself begin to relax a little. Clearing his throat he spoke the concern on the forefront of his mind.

"I just have one question for you Rory, and you don't have to answer straight away but this is our life together I don't want you moving here just because you don't think there's another option. Do you really see yourself living here in Philadelphia? Is this what you want?"

Not allowing her to respond just yet in case he found himself unable to finish he continued in an attempt to explain his concerns.

"I just know that when the baby arrives, and that will be before we know it, it's not going to be easy for us living here with no support. I know you Ror, I know you will miss your mum and want to be near her. I don't want you to chose to come here because of me and then resent me when it isn't what you want. This is our clean slate moment. Take your time and think it over but know this, wherever you want to live, I will make it work. Wherever you want to be I will always choose to be standing right there next to you. I love you Rory. I know I don't say the words aloud often but you know how I feel about you. Never forget it."

Taking a deep breath he allowed Rory her silence while his words sunk in. Time was what she needed right now and he was going to give her that. Luckily he had a backlog of work to keep him occupied and a half written concept he'd begun during her recent stay with him that he wanted to dive back into. He needed to start making his own plans for how he was going to support his family. He shook his head, smiling to himself at the word. Family huh. All he'd ever wanted growing up was a proper family and somehow now, despite the messed up circumstances surrounding its evolution he found himself with exactly that. They said their talk soons and see you laters and I love yous. Jess got up and went straight to his office, picked up his pencil and began to write.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

**Saying Goodbye**

Rory didn't sleep a wink the first night back in her New Haven apartment. The window seat no longer a comfort to her, now tainted by the memory of the day Dean had found her reading Jess's book there. The bathroom felt so small and claustrophobic and she could not bring herself to sleep in her bed, choosing her armchair in the lounge instead. Dean had hated that chair. It held no memories for her. It made her feel safe but was sadly not conducive to sleep. The second night she started to pull items from the cupboard, packing them into boxes that she sealed with tape and placed in the living room. This pile grew as the night wore on and sometime before the sun began to rise Rory drifted off into an uncomfortable sleep, curled up in her armchair.

Stretching out her back the next morning as she rose, Rory immediately saw the progress she'd made the night before and smiled. She was heading into the Advocate today with her apologetic resignation letter. She had enjoyed working there but she did not plan on coming back here again. Despite the still early hour Rory showered and dressed and headed out the door. She stopped into Lulu's choosing a hot chocolate over a coffee, well aware that while it has been a detail in the background before, her pregnancy was now at the forefront of her mind. She would miss this place but there would be other coffee houses, Luke's even if she decided to move back to Stars Hollow. She paused for a moment, smiling to herself as a vision of her and her mum sitting in front of the TV together while their babies slept side by side on a bunny rug on the floor and Luke and Jess were in the kitchen cooking up some pasta for dinner. In that moment she felt a certainty wash over her that she hadn't felt for an incredibly long time, long before Dean even. Walking out of Lulu's with her drink she began to compose a pro/con list in her mind but she already had a sneaking suspicion Stars Hollow would always come out on top.

On her way to the Advocate, Rory phoned the real estate agent in charge of her lease. The fee to break her lease early seemed minimal compared to the toll sleep depravation was going to take on her if she remained in that place so she agreed to their terms and made an appointment to head over there in her lunch break to sign some papers and make it official.

Walking through the front doors to the paper her step faltered for the first time that day. She was really going to miss this place. Her editor had encouraged her to contribute to a variety of articles, not just one set beat, and she felt like she had grown as a reporter in her brief time here. Straightening her jacket she continued on her way pausing only to knock briefly on her editors door and wait for his signal to enter.

"Hello Rory!" he welcomed her enthusiastically.

"Let me congratulate you properly. You'll be a fine mother and that will be one clever kid I'm sure."

"Thank you," she replied, not wanting to ruin his good mood but knowing she had to divulge the real reason she was here.

She motioned to the door and on his nod closed it shut behind her, the latch clicking loudly into place in the now quiet office. She pulled out the chair opposite him then handed him the letter she'd so carefully composed yesterday. It was a letter of gratitude and admittance of it being time for her to move on. He read her words in silence, nodded once then stood up offering his hand to her across the table.

"It's been a pleasure working with you Rory and I won't lie and say I didn't see this coming. I've been in this business long enough to recognise the difference between those writers destined to stay with a small publication like ours and those who will only ever be passing through on their way to bigger and better things. I expect to be seeing your name in the Times one of these days young lady."

Rory blushed at his praise and thanked him again, echoing the sentiment of her letter.

"Now," he continued, "did you want to come back into the office for these last 2 weeks of your notice period or would you prefer to take the leave I'm sure you're owed as I don't recall you missing a day prior to your recent sickness. Things are admittedly a bit quiet at the moment, not much going on really news wise - perhaps a pre Christmas lull. We can manage without you is what I'm trying to say."

Rory barely needed to consider his offer.

"That would be wonderful Mr Elliot! I hadn't thought about my leave but yes, I do have a few weeks accrued and that would suit me perfectly."

"Oh wow, this is it then isn't it?" she said, almost to herself, the wheels already turning in her head, mentally ticking off her to-do list and realising she could be home in a matter of days rather than weeks.

Stars Hollow or Philadelphia though? That item remained unchecked for now. She nodded to herself, this had been a productive day, she would work on that decision tomorrow. She shook Mr Elliot's hand one last time before leaving his office to clear her desk and share her news with her co workers. They were surprised at her news, both parts - the baby and the relocation - but expressed their happiness for her, wishing her well in her new life.

Mr Elliot stopped by Rory's desk as she was about to take her last box to her car.

"This is for you," he placed a folder on top of the pile in her box.

"If you ever need work down the track don't hesitate to call and we will work something out, technology is our friend these days after all. In the meantime I've written you a reference that should get you an interview with any publication your heart desires and once they meet you they'd have to be fools to turn you down. Take care of yourself Rory, it's been a pleasure."

Overcome by the finality of the moment Rory awkwardly launched herself at her boss, giving him a grateful hug.

"Thank you so much, for everything. I'm so sincerely grateful for my time here and the scope you allowed me access to and..."

He cut her off, "I read your letter Rory, I get it. Time you were heading out now."

His response may have seen kurt to anyone who didn't know him but to her it was a simple blessing, one less person to be worried that she'd disappointed. She nodded to him as she picked up her last box and walked to the door, exiting into the crisp day, unemployed but feeling incredibly rich. She placed her last box in her car then drove back to her apartment, deciding on the way to call Jess as soon as she got in and run an idea by him.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

**Future Days**

3 nights he'd been back. 3 long sleepless nights for him without Rory by his side. During the days he'd slowly been working through emails, orders and manuscripts. During the nights he'd been busy writing and he was so close to being finished he couldn't wait for closing time so he could get back to it. Rory had called him to tell him about her morning. The joy in her voice radiated down the phone line, warming him from within. He allowed himself to consider the fact that they'd be together far sooner than he'd expected but he didn't want to coerce her decision of where exactly she was relocating to.

During a mid afternoon lull in the bookstore he put his mind to some research. The New York store, while still very new, was doing better than they could've hoped. It would mean hiring some additional staff but Jess was contemplating opening a third branch, maybe somewhere in the Hartford area. There was an empty store front with an apartment overhead available to lease. From what he could gather from Google the location seemed perfect and the price was definitely reasonable. He checked to ensure Amanda would be able to cover him tomorrow then called Chris and Matt to arrange to catch up with them in New York to discuss his expansion plan. He knew he wouldn't even be considering this if it weren't for Rory and the baby but at the same time he honestly thought it was a pretty good idea regardless. Closing time finally came and Jess locked up, switched off the lights, then walked up the stairs to his apartment. He went straight to his office to finish his new book. He planned to publish just one copy. This one was just for Rory. He put the finishing touches to the manuscript sometime around midnight. He would begin the process of publishing a copy when he returned from New York. He shut down his laptop, turned of the lamp and made his way to bed. He dreamt of Rory and babies and books. He dreamt of their bridge and California and being 6 years old again hiding under his bed in that awful basement flat. Eventually the dreams stopped and he just slept.

When the sun peaked around the edges of his curtains he rose from his slumber. He didn't need to be in New York for a few hours but he felt like going early, spending some time alone in the city. As much as it held a lot of bad memories there had been some good ones too. He grabbed his old backpack from the closet pushing a scarf and beanie inside along with 2 books and the printouts he'd made during his research mission yesterday. It made more sense to get the train but he felt like driving and would just have to hope he'd find somewhere to park when he got there. He dropped his bag into his car then headed to the bakery on the next block to get a coffee and a muffin for the trip. He turned the radio on and was on the road before the city had even had a chance to get started on this cold winters day.

Arriving in New York Jess found a park midway between the Truncheon site and the subway. He shouldered his bag and headed away from the store, he'd had no set plan when he set out from Philly but now that he was here he felt the pull of Washington Square Park so he let his feet lead the way. He sat on the bench where he'd been reading when Rory surprised him the day she'd cut school to see him. He could so easily picture her in her plaid skirt and that heavy cast on her arm. How was it that every memory with her had a good and bad side to it? The night of the car crash had been one of the happiest nights of his life but it had ended so badly. The day she came to see him but then missed her mother's graduation. The day she had kissed him then run away. The night he told her he loved her then got in his car a drove away. The day she had come to Truncheon to see what he had had made of himself, when he'd kissed her and then watched he walk away. The day they had finally had sex only to find out in its afterglow that she was running away from Dean's abuse. This was a pattern they needed to break if they were ever to make this work long term.

He checked his watch to realise he'd been sat here much longer than he would've guessed and he needed to be making his way to Truncheon to meet Matt and Chris. He was hopeful they'd see the logic in his proposal despite the true motivation behind his pitch.

It was going to take a few weeks to iron out all the details but the meeting with his partners had been a success. They both decided it was a good plan and Matt was quick to jump at the opportunity to take over the Philly branch again, making Jess wonder for a moment what might have gone on in his apartment while Matt covered for him recently. Whatever, as long as everyone was happy. They shook on it and went their separate ways once more with a new plan in place for Jess to check out the site and apply for its lease if it was suitable, Chris would be in charge of hiring a new staff member for the New York branch to replace Matt and Matt, well, all he had to do was start packing, he already had Amanda in place in Philly so he could easily slip into Jess's spot there. "I'll call you with a progress report in a couple of days," Jess called back to them as he shouldered his bag once more and headed in the direction of his car. Time again to leave New York but he wasn't going back to Philly just yet, not when New Haven was so close. Rory had mentioned having something to tell him and now he had some news of his own to share too. He called Amanda before starting his car to make sure she was good to cover him tomorrow as well, then he turned the radio on, smiling as he left the New York City skyline behind him as he drove towards the woman he loved.


	19. Chapter 19

_**A/N another short chapter but I thought these two deserved a little bit of light after all the dark. Thankyou to everyone who has taken the time to review, I really appreciate and value your feedback and it encourages me to continue on with this story. Thanks especially to Nancy as I'm unable to reply to your comments but please know I do read and enjoy your reviews :)**_

**Chapter 19**

**A New Set of Rules**

It felt strange to Jess to be knocking on the door to Rory's apartment knowing he'd already been there before but never with her. He didn't want to think back to that day again, not when he had such happy news to share, so he buried the feeling and stepped back slightly while he waited for her to answer his knock.

Rory heard the knock at the door and was initially scared as to who it might be. She'd never had a lot of visitors and her mind quickly jumped to Dean. Shaking her head as if to shake the thought clear from her mind, she took a few tentative steps toward the window seat from which she would have a view of her visitor. She let out a girlish squeal of delight when she saw it was Jess and she raced to the door to let him in.

Jess heard her squeal and braced himself for impact as the door flung open and Rory launched herself at him. He wrapped his arms around her waist, lifting her feet off the ground and walked her back into her front room, kicking the door shut behind him. Before he could release his grip Rory wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist, kissing him fervently while he still stood in the entry way.

"Geez Gilmore," he said, breaking contact for a moment to look into her now sparkling eyes.

"Anyone would think you'd missed me or something!"

"Define something," she responded with a wicked gleam in her eyes before returning her lips to his, allowing him no time to respond.

"At least let me get my jacket off," he insisted, breaking contact with her once more.

She pouted at him as he dropped her feet to the floor and extracted her hands from his neck.

"No need to stop at just your jacket," she suggested playfully.

Laughing at this wanton woman before him Jess shook his head while he removed his jacket, his jumper and his shoes, leaving them in a pile by the door.

"I thought you had something you wanted to talk to me about," he teased her.

"That can wait, this can't," she grabbed his hand and dragged him towards the armchair in the lounge, of all places.

He didn't stop to question the location he simply fell into the heat of her mouth and her body and enjoyed their reunion.

Sometime later, they still sat in the armchair together, Rory sitting sideways across Jess's lap like an oversized child ready to ask Santa to make all her wishes come true.

"You first or me?" she asked him, sensing he hadn't just shown up here out of the blue to have his way with her.

He kissed her on the tip of her nose and let her take the lead for the second time that afternoon. She told him about her pro/con list and her wish to move back home to Stars Hollow for a while until they decided for sure where they would live. He smiled in relief as she spoke of it as a joint decision, she wasn't going to shut him out, not this time. She told him about her dream - her and her mum and the babies and the manly men cooking their women dinner and he covered her mouth with a kiss so passionate she was the one drawing back to look into his eyes this time. He met her questioning gaze and took it as an invitation to share his news.

"Are you free for a trip to Hartford with me tomorrow?" he asked her.

Not yet giving her a chance to reply he continued on.

"The thing is, there's this great site available that would be perfect for a third Truncheon store and it even has an apartment above it. Matt and Chris think it's a great idea, I've just come from meeting with them in New York actually, I got in my car and drove straight here, I didn't think this was the kind of news that translates quite so well over the phone."

He gave her a few minutes to process before prodding her response, "so, thoughts? Do you want me to get a pen and paper and help you make a list?"

Rory stopped the rush of thoughts running through her mind and threw her arms back around Jess's neck.

"I reckon I could clear my schedule for tomorrow, I didn't have much on anyway."

He glanced down observing the fact that she quite literally had nothing on at this given moment either and with a smirk he bent his head to kiss her again and get them back to catching up only he'd be taking it a little more slowly this time round.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

**The Dotted Line**

Rory woke from a long and peaceful sleep wrapped in blankets on the lounge room floor with a warm, firm body partially beneath her. She lay there savouring the heat of his skin on hers and thinking back to the talking parts of yesterday's little reunion. Of all the plans they could have made she couldn't believe how much Jess was willing to sacrifice for her. Selfishly she was so relieved as she knew Philly would have been a second choice for her but now she didn't have to admit that out loud. They would go and see this place today and even if it wasn't perfect they would find something else that was. She'd be close to her mum and Luke and close to her grandparents.

She paused for a moment, a thought within a thought - her grandparents didn't know yet, didn't know she was pregnant or any of the rest. She didn't think she could bear them knowing about what happened with Dean so she decided then and there that they would never know that part of this story. All they needed to know was that she and Jess were in love and expecting a baby together. Any more detail would only hurt them and seeing them look at her with that haunting pity in their eyes would only hurt her and be a constant reminder of something she had every intention of burying in her past. She needed to tell her dad too. He'd be hurt if he found out through the grapevine that his eldest daughter was with child. He could also be told the abbreviated version of the events of the past 6 months. She knew Jess would support this decision and had a strong suspicion her mother and Luke would too. Maybe they would have a pre Christmas dinner at their new apartment, invite them all over and share the happy details of their news in one fell swoop. Yes, she decided, that'll work best for everyone.

She went back to daydreaming about their new place together, wondering if it would have a cosy window seat then wondering if it would be a good thing or a bad thing if it did. The thought made her shudder, alerting her warm pillow to her wakeful state. She watched his face as his eyes opened, adjusting in the soft morning haze then shining brightly when they registered her face.

"Morning" his voice was a sleepy whisper which turned her knees to jelly making her thankful she was still laying down.

She felt a blush creeping up her neck to stain her cheeks as she returned his greeting and he pulled her back into his side, resting her face on his chest, his arm wrapped protectively around her bare shoulders.

"I could get used to this," he sighed against her hair, "although I think the first thing on our list of things to buy for our new place should be a bed."

For the meantime though they once again made do without.

When Rory woke for the second time that morning it was to the smell of eggs and pancakes. She remembered waking in a similar way back in Jess's apartment. She could certainly get used to this, she thought to herself, echoing his words to her this morning. He greeted her with a smile and a plate piled high with food as she arrived at the entry to the small kitchen.

"Eat up, we don't want that baby going hungry," he piled up his own plate and came to sit beside her at the table.

"I made an appointment to see the place at 1pm so I thought we could finish up here and head there sooner rather than later, scope out the neighbourhood before we sign on the dotted line."

She smiled while she ate, somehow this was going to work this time. All the pieces were falling so perfectly together and for once she refused to question it. She was not going to search for the invisible cracks. She finished her meal then took a long hot shower and dressed, ready to explore their new town, ready to find their new home.

As they drove to Hartford Rory shared with Jess her plan for telling her dad and her grandparents their news. He understood why she didn't want to tell them the rest of the story and assured her he'd be there by her side when she told them about the baby. Contented with this response she decided she'd wait until they had a new home before springing the idea of a dinner party on him. So far everything had been going so smoothly, she didn't want to risk upsetting their current equilibrium. It was a place they had seldom dwelled in and it was nice to enjoy it for a while.

Parking the car out the front of their potential home/business, they took a slow walk down the next 2 blocks until they found a cosy little coffee shop complete with inviting armchairs and a welcoming bookshelf. If this wasn't a sign Rory didn't know what was! Jess ordered himself a coffee and a hot chocolate for Rory, to go. He added a cherry Danish to the order too once he spotted them in the cabinet by the register. Rory was already examining the titles in the shelves, he could so easily picture her curling up in the corner, reading while their baby slept soundly cradled in her spare arm. Yes, this space would fast become her favourite. He arrived at her elbow, dangling the bag containing her Danish under her nose to entice her away from the books. She would have plenty of time to explore them all later. Right now he was keen to continue exploring their new neighbourhood. Hell, even he was seeing this as a done deal already. He just had to hope the building would meet their requirements and their expectations. They each had so much hope pinned to this possibility, he didn't want to consider it not working out.

At ten to one the agent arrived from the real estate to find the young couple already waiting at the front door of the vacant store. She gave them a warm smile, offering her hand to them each in turn as they made their introductions then she unlocked the door and ushered them into the space. Jess had a quick look around immediate seeing the potential for a bookstore in this space. It had plenty of light from the floor to ceiling front windows which was a definite plus. It wasn't overly big but that didn't matter, he could make it work. He could tell Rory was impatient to see what the apartment upstairs was like so taking one last quick assessing look around the bottom floor he got the agents attention.

"I think we're ready to see the apartment now."

She led them up a flight of the stairs that were hidden from view of the store by a back room. He could see Rory tense as they reached the landing and waiting for the door to be unlocked and opened for them. She felt it too - the need for this to be right for them.

The agent gave the couple time to look around on their own. She felt optimistic they would take it and it was a relief to her to get it off her books after it had sat vacant for the last 2 months. If she could have rented the spaces separately it would have been gone much sooner but the owner wanted to keep it all as one property. Based on appearances alone she made the judgment that they would easily pass the application process and if they decided to sign on for the lease she could give them the keys as early as tomorrow.

Much as was to be expected from the size of the store downstairs, the apartment was far from spacious but it had 2 bedrooms, a small but adequate eat in kitchen and a lounge big enough for most of their books. There was an upstairs room as well that would make a perfect office for them both with plentiful natural light and room for 2 desks. How much work they'd manage to get done with both of them sharing this room would remain to be seen. Rory and Jess looked at each other smiling sheepishly, sharing the same image.

"So, thoughts?" Jess prompted Rory, this had to be a decision they were both happy with.

"Well," she began, "actually, it seems too good to be true! I love it!"

Unable to contain her excitement she continued to list her observations beginning with the windows in the front and ending with the potential office they were standing in now. He pulled her in for a hug, releasing her just enough to look into her eyes.

"Looks like we've found ourselves on the right page at last."

He took one last look around the room they were in before kissing her then releasing her so they could head back downstairs to tell the agent their decision. This was it. They'd found their new home.

As soon as the paperwork was signed Rory phoned her mum to tell her their exciting news. They were going to be able to pick up the keys as early as 10am tomorrow so planned to head back to New Haven now to finish packing up the last of Rory's things, no point delaying the inevitable. They made one last stop before getting on the road picking out a new bed together at Crate &amp; Barrel that would be delivered the very next day so they could begin this new chapter in their saga in comfort.


	21. Chapter 21

_**A/N apologies for the delay, I've got a lot to update with, 9 chapters in fact, but had connection issues for a couple of days. Review and let me know if you want all the chapters at once or maybe just one or two at a time. Hope you enjoy this one and thankyou to everyone still with me at this point :)**_

**Chapter 21**

**A Moving Day**

Luke knocked on Rory's front door just as Jess was finishing his breakfast.

"Perfect timing," Jess welcomed him into the front room.

"Rory's just taking a shower but then we are more or less set to get on with it."

He gestured at the pile of boxes stacked against the wall, "that's pretty much it plus that armchair over there."

Luke looked across at the armchair Jess was pointing at.

"What about the rest of the furniture?" he asked glancing around the room and into the bedroom beyond.

"Yeah, look Luke," he glanced at the bathroom door, he could still hear the water running but lowered his voice anyway as he explained.

"We've arranged for goodwill to come and pick it up later. Rory doesn't want it anymore. Just the armchair. Oh and the dining table and chairs too. We will buy the rest as we can."

Luke nodded in understanding, then began assessing the number of boxes.

"I reckon if we load up both your cars and my truck we could manage this in maybe only two trips. We'll leave both your cars there and Rory can stay in Hartford while we bring the truck back for the second run. Lorelai took the day off from the Dragonfly today so she'll be able to keep Rory company."

Jess recognised Luke's rambling as a sign of his discomfort. He was likely remembering what had happened the last time he and Jess were in New Haven.

"Sounds like a plan," he offered as some kind of assurance.

"How about we start loading some of this stuff into your truck."

Luke was relieved to have a purpose and began the process of moving the pile of boxes filling the tray of his truck first then Jess's car. He figured Rory was likely the safer of the 2 young drivers so he packed the TV and stereo into her back seat wrapping them in blankets. He'd been correct in his assessment and with the 3 vehicles packed to the brim he would only have to make one more trip for the remainder of the boxes. The goodwill truck was due to arrive around midday giving them enough time to get to Hartford, unload and get back as long as they hit the road soon.

Jess had returned back inside leaving Luke to secure the load in his truck.

"Hey beautiful," he greeted Rory with a kiss as she came out of the bathroom dressed and ready to go.

"Luke's here and we're ready to go when you are."

She looks around the room noting the significantly diminished pile against the wall.

"wow! You've done all this already? I knew I took a while in the shower but...wow!"

She repeated herself, caught up in the sudden rush of reality sweeping by ready to carry her out the front door and onto Hartford. She felt tears prickling the back of her eyes and as her face began to crumple Jess closed the gap between them, pulling her into his arms.

"It's just..." she couldn't even complete her thought, there were no words really.

"Shhh," Jess hushed her, "I know. I'm here. I will never let you go Rory. You can count on me now. Both of you can always count on me."

Luke found the two of them in this private embrace, Rory's head on Jess's shoulder, Jess's hand resting protectively over the slight swell that was beginning to show under Rory's jumper. He silently back stepped out of the room. Pulling his phone from his pocket he dialled Lorelai's number, hearing her lyrical greeting on the line as he reached the front path, he realised he didn't even have any reason to have called her except the sudden desire to say "I love you."

He gave the kids 5 minutes before heading back indoors, making extra noise with his boots on the steps as he approached to announce his presence. He glanced cautiously into the lounge where they'd stood just before but noises in the kitchen alerted him to their current location. He coughed as he walked into the small kitchen.

"Oh hi Rory. Big day."

Suddenly awkward and unable to meet her eyes, "I'm ready to go and your car is ready and I made sure to be especially careful with the monkey lamp and it is strapped in by the seat belt in the passenger seat just as your mum insisted and..."

His voiced trailed off and he took a deep breath, "so yeah, I might get going."

He gave an awkward wave before stepping back out of the kitchen. He was still in the entry when Rory caught up with him, placing her hand on his elbow to halt his escape.

"Hey Luke,"she started, "thank you. I mean thank you for helping us today of course but, for everything else too. I didn't really thank you properly for what you did for me. Coming here, standing up to Dean. Just, thank you. I love you Luke. You're the best stepdad a girl could wish for."

Luke hid the tears that threatened to fall from his eyes as he pulled his stepdaughter into a fatherly embrace.

"I will always be here for you Rory. Always."

He stepped back letting her go. He gave a slight cough before nodding his head and continuing on his way out the door.

"See you both in Hartford."

Jess had now appeared behind Rory, both sets of car keys ready in his hand.

"Drive carefully," Luke warned them in his parental tone.

"I will I promise," Rory replied.

"Heaven help me if anything should happen to that monkey lamp!"

A laugh escaped from both of them - an assuring signal that, eventually, everything would be okay.

Once Luke had pulled away Jess turned to Rory, "ready?" he asked her.

"Or not," she replied forcing half a smile.

"Do you want me to leave you to say goodbye?" he offered.

Rory smiled a genuine smile knowing that he truly did understand her.

"Maybe for just a minute," she agreed. "Will you wait on the stairs for me though? Promise you won't leave without me."

Jess heard the pleading tone in her voice but it was not one of playful Gilmore manipulation it was from some bleak place deep within. He pulled her toward him, wishing he could hold her always this close, cocooning her, protecting her. "

I promise I will never leave you."

He didn't need to add 'ever again'. The words hung between them, an unspoken oath.

Rory took one last walk through her apartment. This had been her first place of her own even if she'd only had it to herself for a few short months. Those memories she would keep. Smiling at herself she recalled her first weekend spent here, she had stayed in her pjs all day reading and watching movies while alternating between popcorn and ice cream and endless cups of coffee. The first meal she'd cooked here that admittedly required nothing more than boiling some water in her kettle to pour over some pasta which she then mixed with a bottle of pasta sauce and ate in front of the TV. Yes, she nodded to herself, there were good memories here too. She came to the place where the armchair had sat until this morning and blushed as she recalled another memory she would treasure. The rose still in her cheeks she took one last quick look around the room before stepping out the front door and into the arms of her future.

"Hey," Jess turned in surprise as Rory wrapped her arms around him.

"All good?" he asked, nodding in the direction of the house.

He noticed to pink tinge to her face.

"I think that armchair is going to go nicely in our place," he teased as if reading her mind.

Her blush deepened, confirming his assumption. He smiled, placing his arm around her shoulder and tilting her head toward him to place a kiss into her hair.

"Shall we then?" he asked. Rory took her keys from him, locking the door for the last time.

"yes, let's" she replied then took Jess's hand as they walked down the stairs, parting when they reached her car door. He bent down to kiss her through the window.

"See you there. Drive carefully."

"Yes Luke!" she teased as she started the engine and pulled out of the driveway, grinning as she saw his smirk dissolve into a smile.

Jess was in his car and on his way before Rory was out of sight. He caught up with her at the traffic lights and they drove in convoy the rest of the way to Hartford. He'd meant what he'd said. Forever was a long time to promise to someone but he knew he could promise it to her. He wasn't a fool, he knew it wasn't going to be easy, they really needed to work on their communication skills for starters. They each had the tendency to shut down and walk away but they would need to learn to talk about what's bothering them, not jump to conclusions like they had each done their share of in the past. The baby would change their lives in a seemingly unfathomable way but he welcomed the thought of it. He wondered if they might have a son or a daughter, quickly realising it didn't matter to him in the least. Healthy and happy and theirs. That was all he required. He smiled again as he pictured his family to be. A new plan was developing in his mind as he drove the rest of the way home.

The drive had passed by quickly and Jess parked his car in a space near Rory's. He could see Luke's truck out the front of their place and stopped to wait for Rory to get out of her car so they could walk up together. Lorelai was already there but the agent wasn't due to bring the keys for another 20 minutes so Jess suggested they grab a coffee from down the road while they waited.

"Hmmm, do they have danishes?" Lorelai asked.

"Cherry and apple," Jess confirmed.

With her arm looped through her daughter's Lorelai followed her nose toward the coffee and danishes muttering something about the most delicious things in the world being Dane-ish leaving Jess and Luke shaking their heads before following along in their wake.

The agent was 10 minutes late with the keys but at last they were in and while Rory gave her mum the grand tour Luke and Jess unloaded the truck so they could head straight back to Hartford and be there to meet the Goodwill truck. The rest could wait until they got back. The girls had catching up to do and everyone knew better than to assume any actual unpacking would get done in the next two hours. Once their men had left, Rory turned to her mother.

"So, fancy another danish?" she asked her.

"Only if it comes with forbidden coffee!" Lorelai replied with a grin.

Lorelai had her purse in her hand and was waiting at the door in record time. Rory grabbed her purse from where she'd left it atop one of her boxes and followed her out onto the front stoop, locking the door behind them as they returned to the coffee shop for the second time that day. Well, third time for Lorelai but she'd keep that little tidbit to herself.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

**Advice &amp; Approval**

There was more traffic on the I-91 then there had been earlier. Both men remained silent but comfortably so, each processing their own thoughts. As they passed through Meridan Jess began to talk, his eyes never leaving the road before them as he confessed to his uncle.

"I'm going to ask Rory to marry me."

Luke remained silent, considering his nephew's statement. Finally he smiled and spoke.

"Good. It's about time." He paused briefly before continuing, "Is this you asking me permission? Because, well, you know Rory is like a daughter to me and of course you have my blessing but I think you really should be asking Lorelai."

Jess considered this for a moment, "not so much asking permission, I guess I just wanted to know what you'd think about it if I did. I'll talk to Lorelai when we get back, maybe you can help me out with that. I don't know when I'm going to ask Rory. I haven't even got her a ring or anything. I just decided on my drive to Hartford that this is what I want to do you know? And why wait any longer? We've already waited so long and wasted so much time, ruined so many chances." Jess stopped talking, as if he'd reached his word quota for the time being, and went back to watching the road instead.

Luke looked across at his nephew, he had never felt more proud of the man he had become. He remembered the day he'd woken to find Jess's things gone from his old apartment over the diner and the realisation of his having left, his suspicion later to be confirmed that he had run away to find his sorry excuse for a father in California. He felt like he'd failed him that day and he'd let Rory down too, but now, now he knew that he had always given Jess a safe place to land and that had given him the courage to grow into this man that sat beside him today, ready to take a monumental step in his life. A man who would be a worthy husband to Rory and a strong and caring father to their child. He knew Lorelai hadn't always had the best opinion of Jess but liked to think she'd changed that view now, especially in light of recent events. They continued on in silence, arrived at the old apartment with time to pack the truck for the second time that day and then wait for the goodwill van to arrive. Once everything was cleared from the place they locked up, slid the keys under the door, and got back into Luke's truck, ready to leave New Haven behind them.

They arrived back in Hartford mid afternoon to find Lorelai and Rory napping on the mattress that had been delivered while they were gone, the boxes predictably untouched. They unpacked Luke's truck then the two cars. Jess deviously secured the monkey lamp with the middle seat belt in Luke's truck, smirking to himself as he imagined Lorelai finding it there. Better in their house than his. He'd always found it rather disturbing. He called Amanda to check how everything was going at the store and to tell her he'd be back tomorrow morning. He called Matt to confirm he'd be in Philly tomorrow too. He didn't want to leave Rory but he needed to pack his own things and give Matt a proper handover. He'd still end up commuting quite a bit as they settled into managing three branches but at least Rory would be safe and happy and that was all that mattered in the end. He heard voices inside, nap time must be over. He wandered indoors to join them as they discussed the ideal order for unpacking.

"How about we start with the bed," he interrupted, gesturing toward the boxes waiting for assembly.

Rory blushed while Lorelai couldn't resist saying "dirty!" Jess felt the heat rising under his own collar before attempting to justify his suggestion but gave up and got back to the task of carrying boxes up the stairs.

"Oh Luke," he could hear Lorelai trying to convince her husband to set up the TV so she and Rory could watch a movie while the work was going on.

They were both pregnant and shouldn't be lifting heavy boxes and it would keep them out of their way for a while so Luke complied carrying the TV up next. Jess came back down from taking the last bed box up and took the armchair next to speed things along. He needed Luke's help with the bed assembly anyway.

The girls were halfway through their movie although they were being more entertained by the swearing and grunting coming from the next room. Clearly their manly men were not fans of flat pack. Eventually silence descended over the apartment and they dared to sneak a look.

"Oh wow boys, what a good job you've done!" Lorelai exclaimed in her best kindergarten teacher voice.

"Oh, thanks Luke, thanks Jess, it looks great!" Rory smiled sincerely as she began to imagine curtains and bedside tables and lamps and pillows, lots and lots of soft cosy pillows.

Once the mattress was on the base Rory found the box with rest of the bedding and made their bedroom as cosy as she could for now. She wanted it to be special for their first night in their own place.

While Rory was busy in the bedroom Jess asked Lorelai if she'd take a walk with him. Luke overhearing them, nodded in their direction, "I'm alright here, you go."

Lorelai was curious enough to agree with minimal fuss and quickly followed Jess down the stairs. Pausing at the bottom he gestured at her belly, "I was going to suggest coffee but I figure you and Rory unsupervised for 2 hours have already had more than Luke would approve of."

"We can just walk Jess. I'm positive Luke would be happy with that option. Maybe we can see if there's a Chinese takeaway nearby, I'm suddenly in the mood for Kung Pao chicken and eggs rolls."

"As long as they're not cold," Jess agree with a smirk. Lorelai smiled as they exited the store and began on their way down the path.

"So you wanted to talk?" Lorelai prompted him after they'd walked two blocks in silence. He stopped to look at her then looked back at his shoes. Finally he found the words he'd been searching for these last two blocks.

"I'm not really asking your permission because I don't think you and Rory really care too much for tradition. I mean, you make your own rules, go your own way." He paused, it was all coming out wrong. "The thing is," he started again, "I love your daughter and I understand this time around just how lucky I am that she chose to love me back. Even after everything that has stood in our way in the past, here we are. It's like we finally made it onto the same page and, while I'm not naive enough to assume it'll all be picnics and rainbows, this time it's for good, I feel it." He paused again, this time to take a deep breath and look his future mother-in-law in the eye as he spoke the words he'd invited her on this walk to say. "I want to marry your daughter. I want to marry Rory. I want her to be my wife and I want our child to grow up with two parents that love each other and I want you to be happy for us because I know you're the most important person in her life and this can't work without your blessing." Lorelai stood on the footpath staring in shock and awe of this man and the admission he'd just made.

Lorelai started to reach out to hug Jess but he flinched, more out of habit than consciousness.

"If you're going to be my son-in-law you're going to have to get used to me hugging you once in a while," she warned him as she stepped towards him again. This time he let her capture him in an awkward embrace, not least of all because there was a gestating baby between them.

"We'll get better at this," she assured him, releasing him back to his own space in the path.

"So is that a yes then?" Jess asked.

"Oh, Jess, I can't marry you! I'm already taken, you've got the wrong Gilmore," she joked watching as a smile finally played across his serious face.

"Of course it's a yes, Jess. That rhyming thing is never going to get old by the way." Her tone turned serious as she continued, "I know that you will make her happy because it will destroy you if you don't. I can see how much she loves you, how she's always had that hidden light that sparks in her eyes at the mention of your name. Of course you have my blessing. I just have one request, can you please ask her soon because I don't know how long I can keep a secret like this! The suspense is already getting to me."

"It will be very soon," he assured her "and knowing the two of you I'm sure she'll be on the phone to tell you the news before I can even get the ring on her finger."

Assuming she says yes he thought to himself.

"Oh she will," Lorelai assured him, reading his face as his expression so suddenly changed.

"So, eggs rolls, shall we?" Lorelai asked pointing to a sign she'd spotted 3 doors down.

They ordered one of everything in the chicken section of the menu for old time's sake and sat in a comfortable silence while they waited then they returned home almost on the verge of being friends.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

**Girl Talk**

While Luke and Jess were in New Haven the girls had made themselves at home in Rory's new coffee shop. They claimed the chairs near the bookcase and sat back sighing out identical sighs as they smelt their forbidden coffee and took bites of their pastries. Wiping crumbs from the side of her mouth Lorelai was the first to speak.

"So daughter of mine, mummy needs you to fill in a few blanks. Now don't get me wrong, I am incredibly happy to know that you will be living just down the road and not so very, very far away in Philadelphia, but I am curious to know how you came to this decision and furthermore, how did it all happen so quickly? Wasn't it only yesterday you were crying at the end of the driveway and Jess was heading back to Philly without you?"

"I know mum, everything seems to be moving so fast, and it is, but it all feels so right and I don't want to stop and question it, not when everything is finally perfect. Well as perfect as I could ever have dreamed it to be anyway. Yes, I know we still have details to iron out not to mention all things baby that I haven't even begun to consider. All of this though, the store and the apartment and Hartford, it was all Jess. He had a meeting with his partners and they agreed and then he was in New Haven on my doorstep and, well we talked and then we came here yesterday and the place was perfect and here we are now."

"So you talked huh?" Lorelai teased.

"Yes mum, amongst other...things...we talked and we are both on the same page for once in our contradicting lives and we are happy. He loves me mum and I love him and now we have a home and soon we will have a baby and when all that was happening with Dean I didn't think I'd ever be able to feel this happy again."

"I know hun," Lorelai reached across to grip her daughter's hand "and I am happy that you are happy. I mean it."

They sat quietly while they finished their food. Rory's phone rang, the delivery guys from Crate &amp; Barrel were waiting at the apartment with the new bed which she had admittedly forgotten all about. Maybe it was baby brain? They put their rubbish in the bin then went back to the the new Truncheon site to accept the delivery. Once the van was gone they lay down on the mattress chatting for a while, Lorelai catching Rory up on the town gossip while Rory allowed herself to admit how much she'd missed the place.

"I wanted to run an idea by you," Rory began, her tone suddenly serious. "I need to tell Dad and Grandma and Grandpa about Jess and the baby and all this," she gestured to the room around her. "I don't want them to know about what happened with Dean. I couldn't bear it. I can hardly bear it that you and Luke know. Jess and I talked about it and he agrees, there's no need for them to know. What do you think though?"

Lorelai considered the question for a moment before offering her opinion, "I think I agree with Jess. There's nothing they can do about it now and, don't take this the wrong way hun because I'm glad you told me, I promise you I am, but sometimes I wish I didn't know."

"I'm so sorry mum," Rory cried, launching herself into Lorelai's arms, suddenly a child again desperately needing her mummy.

"Shhh hun, I'm glad you felt you could tell me. I would never want you to keep something so big from me." She held Rory tight until her tears stopped and her breathing settled back to normal. She reached for her purse passing Rory some napkins from the cafe to blow her nose.

"So, what's your plan for telling the Gilmore's?" she asked, getting them back to business. Rory was absolutely right, they needed to know about the boy and the baby and the relocation, especially now they were living in the same town and Rory was beginning to show.

"Well, I haven't spoken to Jess about it yet, but I was thinking of inviting them here for a dinner party once we are a bit more settled. Maybe in a couple of weeks, early December. I'll invite Dad too, get it all over with in one go."

"Well, that sounds like an okay plan, I guess," Lorelai hesitated, he voice trailing off.

Rory clarified "Of course, I'd kind of hoped you and Luke would come too. We will be needing all the moral support we can get!"

Lorelai's face suddenly brightened, "well in that case, I think it's an excellent idea!"

"I need to run it by Jess still so I'll let you know when I have a clearer idea and then you can tell Luke."

"Sounds like a plan sweetie." Lorelai affirmed, stifling a yawn.

"Time for a nap?" Rory suggested.

They lay back on the mattress on the floor and fell asleep.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

**New Beginnings**

After the last of the takeaway containers were put in the fridge for leftovers, Rory and Jess walked Lorelai and Luke to their vehicles. They thanked them for their help and exchanged hugs and promises to talk soon. Standing on the footpath in the early evening light they watched the taillights fade into the distance. Jess wrapped one arm around Rory's waist then swept the other one down behind her knees to lift her legs off the ground and carried her over the threshold into the store. Rory was shocked by the grand gesture and couldn't contain the giggles that escaped her lips. Jess kissed her to quiet them as he kicked the door shut with his foot.

"You do know you're supposed to do this to your bride on your wedding night?" She teased him as they reached the bottom of the stairs.

"Well I'll do it again then too if you insist," he quipped. She looked at him trying to see the joke that was missing from his tone in his eyes but all she found there was sincerity and an unspoken question in the chocolate depths.

"Are you..." she started to speak but he cut her off.

"Yes Rory, I am. At least I'm trying to. I'd kinda hoped we'd have been up these stairs and into our new home at this point but yes, I'm asking." He continued up the stairs, through the door, straight through the lounge to place Rory down gently on their new bed. He knelt down beside her, their foreheads touching as he looked into her eyes, "Rory, will you marry me?"

"Oh Jess," she cried, throwing her arms around him and pulling him up to join her on the bed, "of course I will! Nothing would make me happier." They sat there on the edge of the bed for a moment, suddenly feeling shy with each other, but that didn't last long. Soon enough their new bed was christened and they lay side by side, holding hands in the now dark room eventually letting sleep take over their bodies.

Checking the time first and deciding it wasn't too late, Rory dialled her mother's number "Mum? Are you there." Rory called into the phone after the message finished playing in the machine. "Mum, pick up, I have some news but I think you should hear it first not the answering machine. Mum? Mu...?"

"Rory what is it? I'm here, I'm here, tell me, what is it?!" Lorelai picked up the phone in a sleepy haze cutting the message off mid word.

"Jess asked me to marry him and I said yes!" Happy screams echoed to and fro across the phone line. "Okay mum, go back to bed now, I'll tell you the details tomorrow." Rory crawled back under the covers to snuggle beside her soundly sleeping fiancé. She kissed him gently on his chest before laying her head to rest there, falling asleep to the soothing sound of his steady heartbeat.

The next morning when the couple finally made it to the kitchen for breakfast Jess realised he'd never got around to telling Rory he planned to head back to Philly today to sort a few things out. Leaving her seemed even harder now after last night. He shook his head as he watched her filling two glasses with orange juice while he flipped pancakes onto two plates, he hadn't even got her a ring, not that she seemed to notice and she wasn't the kind of girl to get hung up on something like that anyway he told himself. He just felt like he hadn't done it quite right. The smile on her face silenced his self doubt and he placed their plates next to each other at the table waiting for her to place the glasses down before pulling her down to sit across his lap. It made eating a challenge but it was worth it, she felt so good in his arms.

He let her finish eating before bringing up his plans for the day.

"I can drive back tonight if you want me to," he finished.

"As much as I want you to do that, it makes more sense for you to just stay in Philly and do what you have to do. You'll be back by the weekend won't you?" she had to see the practical side.

"I'll plan to be back Friday night," he promised her.

"While we're sharing plans, there's something I need to run by you and if you agree it will give me something to do while you're gone, besides unpacking," she quickly added as she noticed his eyes drift to the boxes stacked in the lounge.

"Hey, I didn't say a thing!" he mocked. "We do need to get unpacked soon though, we can't live on takeout and pancakes forever. Tell me what you're thinking," he prompted her back on track to her original train of thought.

"Oh yeah, well, the thing is, remember we talked about me telling my grandparents and my dad our news? Well, now we live in Hartford and my grandparents live in Hartford I'm thinking we need to do that sooner rather than later. Like maybe in about 2 weeks time? I was thinking we'd be pretty settled here by then and we could invite them over for a housewarming to tell them about the baby. Oh and now we have an engagement to announce too! We can make it a surprise engagement party!" she enthused.

"Um Ror, doesn't a surprise party usually work the other way round?" Jess asked, still processing the idea of the elder Gilmore's, and Christopher and presumably Lorelai and Luke too, all here, under this tiny roof, in this now seemingly minuscule eat in kitchen, sitting shoulder to shoulder around the table while he confessed to knocking up their innocent angel and then convincing her to marry him. It would certainly be a surprising party, that's for sure. There was no telling how they might react to such news. Two simple facts remained, one they needed to find out at some point and two they'd have the home ground advantage here.

"Okay," he finally spoke. "If that's the way you want to do it then I will be here, right beside you."

"Thankyou Jess," Rory kissed him on the cheek then raised her glass, tilting it toward his. "To new beginnings" she toasted his OJ with her own, chinking the glasses together.

"Is there even such a thing as new beginnings?" Jess challenged her in the lightly mocking tone that had made her fall in love with him in the first place, once upon a time, when he was her Dodger. "I mean, think about it, Miss Yale graduate, a beginning by the very nature of the word is always new hence the new is implied and therefore redundant."

"Oh just shut up why don't you," she pouted back at him, giving him no choice but to lean forward and capture her lips with his own. "We've got our whole lives to dissect and analyse the banalities of common cliches, I was trying to have a moment here," she explained indignantly, "and I had other plans than to argue with you right now."

"Ah, but we've got our whole lives to..." she cut him off as he continued to tease her, using her own words against her, silencing him with a kiss that carried them back into the bedroom, effectively ending their discussion.

Jess checked the time, rolling over to kiss the smooth skin between Rory's shoulder blades.

"I really have to go this time," he told her. "There'll be no point in me going if I don't get on the road soon."

"Well then don't go, stay." Rory mumbled into the pillow, satisfied and halfway to asleep.

"I wish I could Rory but I really need to go. Once I'm back I'll be back for good and the sooner I go the sooner I will be back to you."

Rolling over to look him in the eyes, with half a pout on her mouth and a cheeky glean in her eye she told him, "go on then. See yourself out."

Jess laughed as he kissed her on the forehead. He grabbed some clothes and had a quick shower and got dressed. Rory was still in the same lazy position in bed as he came back into the room.

"I'll just see myself out then shall I?" he asked her. He didn't want her to see him out, he wanted her to stay just like this so he could find her right where they'd left off when he returned. Maybe he would drive back tonight after all. He shook his head at himself for turning to mush around this incredible woman.

"Penny for yours?" she asked him, curious to know what thought had made his expression change.

"I'll tell you tonight," he promised. He kissed her one last time then grabbed his coat and bag and left the apartment, keen to get on the road and get everything tied into nice little bows in Philly so he would never have to leave her again.


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

**Surprise?**

Jess arrived back from Philly 2 days later to find the apartment looking much more like a home. They still needed to pick out a lounge and a few other bits and pieces but Rory was adamant they choose the rest together and so they spent half the weekend browsing and buying and the other half lazing around alternating between reading their books and reading each other. It was a blissful first weekend, effortless and utterly relaxing after the stress of the last 6 months.

The following week while Jess busied himself downstairs getting the shop set up, Rory began to compose 2 invitations to their party. She'd picked out the card at a specialty shop in the city centre. They were crisp white with an inset periwinkle border. She quite liked the look of them for wedding invites too and bought an extra to tuck away into the wedding binder she had started and then hidden under the bed while Jess was away. In her best handwriting, copying from the draft she'd finally decided upon after discarding the first 6 versions, she began to fill the blank card with the details of the time and date and lastly, her name and Jess's name, side by side at the bottom of the sheet. She made an identical copy, only this one bore her father's name, then sealed them both in periwinkle envelopes, placed stamps in the corners and took them straight out to the post box before she could change her mind.

2 days later she answered her phone to her Grandmother's abrupt tone.

"We don't hear from you for months and then we get this invitation in the mail and you've moved cities and are cohabiting with someone. You've got a lot of explaining to do young lady!"

"That's what the invitation is for Grandma." Rory tried to remain calm, "I promise you, if you can just be patient, you will find out everything next Friday night. That is if you're able to come? I realise it was short notice but as soon as I decided on this idea I wanted to make it happen as soon as I could. You will come won't you?"

Emily couldn't resist her beloved granddaughter's pleading tone. She was right of course, it had been extremely short notice but luckily she and Richard had no plans and even if they had plans, her intrigue upon opening her personalised invitation would have made her cancel them anyway. It would be lovely to see her daughter too before her baby arrived, she presumed she'd be there too.

"Yes, Friday night would suit us perfectly." she assured her granddaughter. "You didn't mention a dress code or how large a function you intend this to be."

"It will just be a casual dinner grandma," Rory assured her. "Mum and Luke, Dad, you and grandpa and Jess." She waited for some kind of reaction to the sound of that name but it seemed for now her grandmother had not connected the pieces and was yet to realise her granddaughter was in fact 'cohabiting' with the black eyed hoodlum who had once showed up late then left during dinner and broken Rory's teenage heart.

"Okay," Emily replied, "we shall see you next Friday night. Goodbye Rory."

Emily hung up the phone, more questions rapidly rising in her mind. Hopefully those too would be answered at this dinner party. She rang Richard to update him on the details, pausing over Jess's name as she relayed the guest list - surely not, she told herself, surely I must be wrong, although... Shaking her head in an attempt to banish the thought from her mind she turned her attention back to the remainder of the post, sorting it into neat little piles as she went. Christopher's name registered with her, almost as an afterthought. Suddenly she felt chilled to the bone despite their central heating. It seemed Rory was assembling the entire family. A new boyfriend, a new home in a new city. Could it be, could her only granddaughter be getting married? The neat piles of mail were quickly forgotten as Emily went to retrieve a thick, heavy file folder from a drawer in the study. Flicking through the pages she sat back to revel in a taffeta tinted daydream.

Christopher waited until the following week to phone his daughter. Their contact had always been sporadic and he was used to being out of the loop in the goings on of the Gilmore Girl's lives, especially now that Lorelai was married to Luke. He was intrigued by the invitation, especially when he noted her new address and a man's name, presumably her new boyfriend, next to hers, co hosting this party. There was a time he would've phoned Lorelai to get her to spill the details but that was a thing of the past. He still loved her, he always would, but he respected her more and that meant he stayed away and gave her the space she had begged him for. It would be good to see her. She must be due soon he thought, remembering Rory mentioning her mum's pregnancy when they last spoke around the time of the wedding. He decided to call Rory and see if he could get her to crack instead. He didn't like his chances but figured it was worth a shot and even if he left the conversation none the wiser it would be good to hear her voice and catch up. They'd left it so long between calls this time and he missed her.

Picking up the phone to hear her dad's voice sent a flurry of nervous butterflies to her core. He had a way of making her spill secrets. She suspected he'd honed this skill on her mum when they were teenagers and it translated to her because, well, like mother like daughter! They shared more similarities than differences, that was for sure.

"Hi dad!" She greeted him warmly. She hadn't spoken to him in 6 months and she had missed him. "How are you? How's GiGi? How's Boston?"

"Okay, great and currently very cold." he answered, a smile lighting up his face that she could hear in his voice. "So," he began. Here we go, Rory thought to herself, bracing her mind for his interrogation. "I got a really pretty little invite in the post and the handwriting is definitely yours but the address is in Hartford and then there's the mention of one Jess Mariano? The thing is, last I knew you were living in New Haven with Dean. Things move fast in the world of Rory Gilmore apparently and I can't keep up!"

"Dean and I broke up and I moved," she explained with the simplest version of the truth she could assemble in that moment. "Jess and I are living together now and wanted to invite a few people around for a housewarming party. We hear that's the kind of thing grown ups do so we thought we'd try it out." Christopher knew his daughter well enough to know she was leaving out some details in both parts of her story but decided not to push her any further.

"I guess you'll fill me in on the rest next Friday then?" he asked her.

"I absolutely will!" she promised. "I'm so pleased you can come," she admitted. "In the interest of full disclosure I feel I should let you know that it will be a family party - mum and Luke, Grandma and Grandpa, Jess and I. You're welcome to bring GiGi, I just wasn't sure what your arrangement is these days but I'd love to see her."

"She's with her mum next weekend," Christopher admitted. "I'm sure she'd have loved to have seen you too Ror. Maybe we will come down another time, just the 2 of us."

"I'd like that," Rory assured him.

"I'd better let you go," he began, "I'm sure you must have lots to do if you're hosting the Gilmore's in just a few days time!"

"That I do!" Rory agreed. "Thanks for calling Dad, it's good to hear your voice. I look forward to seeing you Friday night."

"Me too Ror, me too."

They disconnected, each sitting back in their chairs wondering what kind of surprises Friday night would bring.


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

**Time Flies By Regardless**

The rest of the week flew by and Rory woke up in a lather of sweat Friday morning having just woken from a terrible dream in which Dean had somehow got an invite to the party and showed up at the door demanding to be allowed in. She got up and took a long hot shower, trying to scrub away all memory of Dean from her skin. She was pink as a strawberry and looking equally delicious when Jess opened his eyes to see her returning from the bathroom with a towel around her body and another around her hair.

"Are you okay?" he asked, noting the vacant look in her eyes.

"Just nervous about tonight," she lied. He knew she was keeping something from him but decided not to pursue it.

"I've got some time before I need to be going anywhere," he patted the empty space she'd left beside him, inviting her to rejoin him there but she wouldn't meet his eyes.

She went to the wardrobe and began looking for something to wear, telling him she had too much to do, "but maybe later?" she ended, an afterthought to soften the blow.

Jess began wracking his brain, trying to figure out what he'd done wrong but he came up with nothing. Well, almost nothing. He thought everything was going so smoothly for a change. He shouldn't be so surprised given their track record to find a bump in the road but was clutching at straws trying to find a reason for the look in her eye and the way she'd dismissed him just now. Was this about the ring?

He'd bought her a ring while he was in Philly but he was waiting for the right moment to give it to her. He'd kinda hoped that moment might have been this morning and had Rory taken him up on his invitation she would have found a blue velvet box hidden beneath her pillow. He'd been laying there, pretending to be asleep as he listened to the sounds of the shower, waiting for her to return to their cosy room. She still had her back to him, now fully dressed and pulling a comb through her towel dried hair.

"Are you sure you're okay Rory?" determined to keep his promise to himself to do things differently this time. When she finally turned to look at him he saw the tears in her eyes. He got up from the bed to meet her where she stood, taking her into his arms as he spoke into her hair, "please tell me Rory, whatever it is, I can't help you if you don't tell me." She let the tears fall and they stood there for a long time, her crying her heart out, him trying to understand why.

His gut told him this wasn't anything to do with him and once he came to that conclusion he loosened his grip on Rory so he could look into her face as he asked, "is this about Dean? Has something happened?"

Rory nodded once then shook her head. Yes and no. Okay, he was on the right track at least.

"Let's go sit in the kitchen," he suggested. "I'll make you some breakfast and we can talk." He let go of her completely this time, grabbing a shirt from the end of the bed and pulling it over his head as he followed her out of the room. Rory sat herself down at the table while Jess poured her a glass of juice and went about making eggs on toast for them both. He had his back to her, his focus on flipping the eggs before they burnt, when she finally spoke. She'd stopped crying but her voice came out flat and weary.

"I had a bad dream," she confessed. Jess felt a wave of relief wash over him as he turned away from the stove to watch her face as she told him the rest of her story. "It was Dean. He showed up here, at the party. He wanted to apologise and explain and he just kept getting taller and taller and I kept getting smaller and smaller until I was backed into the corner and then I woke up and needed to have a shower. I scrubbed and scrubbed but I can't wash it away Jess. I can't make it go away. I hate him for doing this to me. I just want to forget it ever happened but I can't. I'm never going to forget, am I?"

Her last question was rhetorical but it broke Jess's heart to see her in such a state and he was as surprised as Rory by what came out of his mouth next, "maybe you should talk to someone about this. A counsellor or someone. I mean, you can talk to me, you can tell me anything Rory, you know that, but I'm not exactly qualified to give advice or help you with where to go from here. It kills me to know what he did to you and to see how it affects you and not be able to fix it but maybe we can find someone who can. Help fix it I mean. Or at least help you put it behind you and move on." Rory considered Jess's suggestion.

"Maybe," she conceded, looking into his concerned eyes. "Yes, I think you're right. Let's get tonight over and done with for now and I'll try and get an appointment with someone next week." Jess placed her breakfast in front of her kissing her on the forehead before sitting down with his own. They ate in silence, each replaying the conversation in their minds.

With the breakfast dishes drying on the rack and the table cleared, Rory stood back to contemplate how exactly they would fit 7 adults and their accompanying egos into this now seemingly minuscule kitchen. She called her mother at the inn.

"Mum, I need your help!" she pleaded.

"What is it sweets? Getting cold feet over dinner already? It's not even 10 in the morning yet. Shall I clear my schedule in preparation of several more panicked phone calls over the day? Actually, better still, how about I clear my schedule and come over and I can help you."

"Oh mum, would you really do that for me?" Rory exclaimed gratefully.

"Of course I would hun, I'm not really doing much here lately anyway on account of being too pregnant to be of much use to anyone and Michel is driving me crazy as usual so it'd be nice to escape one mad house for another." Rory cringed imaging how potentially true her mother's words could be if things didn't go smoothly this evening. She had a image of all four Gilmore's fighting across the table while Luke and Jess hid in the lounge and Christopher watched on in fascination as if it were a new spectator sport?

"See you in an hour then?" she asked her mother.

"I'll even steal some of Sookie's triple chocolate chip cookies daughter of mine." Lorelai assured her. In anticipation of such a phone call, Lorelai already had her car filled with several boxes containing all manner of party effects from napkins and table clothes to candle holders and a even little service bell. She planned to pick up some fresh flowers on the way to go in the mismatched vases she'd picked up last week, thinking they would look cute in Rory's new place. She checked in with Sookie, letting her know that she was definitely going early and with a quick wave to Michel made her getaway.

Using her hands free she called Luke from the car, "hey Luke. Rory called so I'm heading to Hartford now as I'd told you I might."

"Okay, well drive carefully and say hi to Rory and Jess for me. I'll should be able to get out of here by 5 so I'll be there before the other guests arrive. Call me if you need me to bring anything. Are you sure they don't need me to bring any food?" he asked. He knew Rory got her cooking skills from her mother and that was cause for concern. He thought it more likely Jess would be in charge of the kitchen but still, preparing dinner for the elder Gilmores, he just hoped his nephew wasn't biting off more than he could chew.

Jess looked up as he heard the bell over the door ring. The store was a work in progress and still not officially open for business but he'd left the door unlocked early after returning from checking the post. Lorelai was standing awkwardly balancing a box over her bump, purse under one arm and a bag of cookies grasped in the other hand. He shook his head as he greeted her and took the box from her, placing it on the floor.

"I guess you were expecting Rory to call?" he asked considering her fast arrival and apparent prior preparation.

"There's more in the car," she smiled sheepishly at him.

"How about you just give me your keys and head on up, I'll be up with your things in a few."

Lorelai thanked him, passing him her keys before making her way to the stairs at the back of the store. Pausing to look around she turned back to Jess "this place is really coming together Jess! I'm impressed." He just nodded his head at her and she continued on her way up to find Rory. He could hear her chanting 'yes Jess I'm impressed' as she ascended the stairs. He shook his head and let out a sigh then gave into the smile that was trying to force its way onto his face.

Rory was alerted to her mother's arrival by the racket in the stairwell. She was standing with the door open, waiting for her she she reached the landing. Ushering her into the lounge where they dropped into the super soft lounge and opened the bag of cookies. This was where Jess found them as he carried the first two boxes into the apartment. By the time he came up with the last box and the bag with the vases they had moved into the kitchen, deep in discussion.

"Anything I can do to help?" he asked.

"Well, actually, if you're offering, I was just suggesting to Rory that we move the table into the lounge and set up for dinner in there. There's not really enough room in here for all of us and trying to cook and serve food in the same room is going to make it even more claustrophobic and that's before we factor in how much extra oxygen my mother requires." Jess nodded in agreement. He looked through to the lounge, trying to picture them all in there instead but it wasn't that much bigger than the kitchen and there was furniture taking up most of the space. He had an idea but wanted to think it through before suggesting it.

"Can you just give me a few minutes?" he asked them, looking at Lorelai as he did. The girls looked at each other then at the still half full bag of cookies on the table.

"I think we could do that!" Lorelai assured him.

Jess walked back downstairs to the store. Despite its small size, it was a spacious room, unencumbered by too many supporting pillars and currently largely empty as he was still awaiting quotes for bookcases and tables. Yes, he thought to himself, if I move the boxes to the back storeroom and...yes, this would work. He went up to share his idea with Rory and Lorelai assuming it was acceptable when they practically burst his eardrums with their excited squeals. He was happy to see Rory once again happy and seemingly relaxed, a stark contrast to the dark spell she'd been trapped in just a few hours earlier.

"I just need to move a few things around down there then I'll take the table down." Suddenly something else occurred to him, "um Ror, how many people are coming?"

"7" she replied, counting them off on her fingers to be sure.

"We're going to need more chairs," he observed.

"Oh how could I not have thought of that?" Rory chastised herself.

"Blame it on baby brain?" Lorelai suggested. "I'll just call Luke and get him to bring some chairs from the inn with him when he comes later. We can still get everything else ready. Don't sweat it sweets. All will be grand, you'll see. And even if it isn't, well, the stories we will tell."

Jess made his way downstairs to get to work. He had a feeling he'd be finding grey hairs tomorrow morning. He reminded himself that he was doing this for Rory and that she was worth it.


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27**

**Finishing Touches**

The apartment was looking beautiful and homey. The vases from Lorelai looked perfect - one on the dresser in the bedroom, a second on the kitchen table and a third by the window in the lounge. The place smelled great too and Rory had to stop herself from dragging Jess away from the stove where he was sampling the pasta sauce for the main course. Overcome with emotion she went in to join him, wrapping her arms around his waist as she stood behind him, watching him cook.

"Have I told you how much I love you?" she asked him.

He turned slightly to kiss her, "Yes you have but its always nice to hear so go on," he prompted her, smiling. He'd had an urge to pinch himself all afternoon. How had he got here? How was it he was cooking dinner for 7? One look into his fiancés eyes and he knew the answer to all the questions was her.

"Can you do something for me?" he asked as he continued to stir the sauce.

"Sure, anything," Rory replied.

"Anything?" he asked raising his eyebrow as he turned to look at her again to witness the blush he knew would rise into her cheeks.

"Jess!" she playfully hit him on the arm, "my mother is downstairs!"

"Okay, okay." he conceded. He was a little busy anyway and had only been teasing her in the first place but she was pretty damn hard to resist.

"So, what did you really want me to do for you?" she asked, her curiosity piqued.

"Well," he began, "I left something under your pillow this morning but I don't think you found it." Without a word Rory had raced from the room. Jess turned the sauce down to a gentle simmer, wiped his hands on a tea towel, placing it on the bench while he waited for her to find her surprise.

"Oh, Jess," she called to him from the bedroom. "I think I might need your help in here." She launched herself at him as he walked through the doorway, covering him in kisses as she lead him to the bed.

"Um, Rory?" he paused mid kiss trying to get her attention, "your mum is downstairs, remember?"

She released him momentarily, laying herself back on the bed as she let him go, "well then, I guess you'd better lock the door!" He did as he was told and reaching out, grabbed her hand, kissing the finger that now wore his ring.

"I take it you like the ring?" he asked.

"Almost as much as I love you," she assured him.

Their love making was quick and quiet this time considering the company downstairs and the long list of things still to be prepared for the evening ahead of them but it was a welcome break for them both before getting back to work.

Jess was back in his previous position at the stove when Lorelai came into the kitchen.

"I just got off the phone to Luke and he was able to get away a little earlier than expected and will be here in about half an hour with the extra chairs. How's this all coming together?" she asked waving her hand around the room at the varying stages of food preparation.

"I think I've got it all under control," Jess assured her.

Looking relieved Lorelai turned as Rory came to join them in the kitchen. Wordlessly holding her hand out to her mum Rory turned to beam at Jess, mouthing the words I love you to him as her mother squealed with delight.

"You clearly get your good taste from your uncle," she approved.

"Luke will be here soon," she relayed to Rory. "Do you want to go get ready while I help Jess here in the kitchen then I'll get ready when Luke arrives with my dress?" she suggested.

"If by helping you mean sitting in the corner and not touching anything then yes, that would be great, thanks." Rory agreed.

"You might want to do something about your hair," the ever intuitive Lorelai added, "I mean this is a celebratory dinner but I don't think that..."gesturing at Rory's rather obvious bed hair "...is quite the way to break the news to your guests." Rory left the room, Jess returned his attention to the sauce that could not possibly have needed any more fine tuning, and Lorelai sat in her designated seat in the corner smiling to herself.

From the pristine white tablecloths, the navy napkins, the matching glasses and shining silverware, all on loan from the Dragonfly Inn, to the candles and fairy lights that gave a soothing glow to the space, the room looked like it belonged in a magazine! This is going to work, Rory allowed herself to believe as she straightened the back of one of the chairs. She checked the time, their guests were due in less than 10 minutes. She wanted to be the one to greet them at the door so she stayed down in the store to await their arrival. Luke was helping Jess with the food and Lorelai was no doubt hindering them in her own special way. She took the time to walk around and took note of the little touches Jess had already begun to add to the space. She'd had no opportunity to ask him yet but was hoping she might be able to work here alongside him, at least until the baby came. She'd sent some letters of interest along with her resume to a few local papers but was really hoping to be able to get some freelance work and stay here in the safety of their home. Her savings were dwindling and she would need to get some kind of work soon, she couldn't put it off much longer. Rory's thoughts were interrupted by a confident knock at the door. Here goes nothing, she thought as she took a deep breath, smoothing the skirt on her navy wrap dress as she crossed the distance to the door to let her guests in.


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

**Raise Your Glass**

Emily had been growing more anxious as the week dragged on, desperate to know for certain what news her granddaughter had to share with them. She hurried Richard along, forcing him to put down his book and remove his reading glasses as she thrust a scarf and coat in his direction.

"Come along Richard!" she urged. "One would think you'd be more enthusiastic seeing as we are going to see you granddaughter."

"Oh but I am, Emily. You simply misunderstand - I was merely passing the time with a little bit of Hemingway while waiting for you to be ready. So, as you can see, it is in fact I who has been waiting for you. Come along now Emily," he repeated her words back at her, a devious gleam in his eyes, "we don't want to be late."

Emily swatted him on the arm with her gloves before pulling them over her fingertips and looping her arm through his proffered elbow, allowing him to escort her to their waiting car.

Christopher decided against the tie, removing it and discarding it on the passenger seat as he got out of his car in Hartford. He'd managed to find a park across the street and down a little way from the address on the invitation. He put his arms into the sleeves of his winter coat and wrapped a scarf around his neck before shutting the car door, pressing a button on his keyring to lock it. He saw Richard and Emily ahead of him on the path and hurried his step to catch up with them.

"Oh, Christopher!" Emily exclaimed, tightening her grip on Richard's arm. "You really shouldn't sneak up on a person like that, especially at this hour of night and in this kind of neighbourhood!" she chastised him while glancing around surveying the area.

"Well, here we are then," Richard announced as they reached the door.

"Are you sure this is the right address?" Emily queried. "It looks awfully dark in there," she peered through the window.

"Well Emily, I'm sure we will have confirmation soon enough either way," he assured her as he raised his hand to knock on the door.

Christopher stood behind them, stifling a laugh as he reflected on the fact that some things never change and Richard and Emily Gilmore were no exception. He just hoped for Rory's sake that the evening would run smoothly but couldn't help but have his doubts.

Rory was a vision in her navy wrap dress and her grandmother told her so as she opened the door to welcome them in. Careful to hide her ring, Rory hugged her grandparents then noticed her father standing behind them.

"Oh wow, you're all here at once!" she exclaimed, throwing her arms around her dad's shoulders. Someone else to be on her team, at least she hoped he would be. It was anyone's guess how her grandparents would take the news but if anyone should understand her predicament and be able to put themselves in Jess's shoes, it would be Christopher.

"We will be having dinner down here," Rory gestured towards the table, suddenly feeling self conscious as Emily cast her critical eye over the arrangement. When she nodded Rory continued "Mum and Luke are upstairs in the apartment with Jess. We can go up there first if you like. Dinner will be ready in about half an hour." Rory looked to her dad hoping for support as she came to the end of her little speech.

"You lead the way Rory, we'll follow." he assured her with a wink.

The apartment door was propped open so they all walked through, Rory calling out to Lorelai announcing the arrival of the remainder of the party. She came out from the kitchen shaking her head at the scene she'd left behind her.

"We might just leave them alone for a little while," she suggested before turning to greet her parents. "Hi Mum, Dad, welcome, hope you found the place okay," she slipped easily into the role of host allowing Rory to relax a little.

"You're looking well Lorelai," Emily commented, examining the size of her bump. "How many weeks before you're due?"

"5 weeks to go Mum," Lorelai shared although she would bet it was marked in red pen in her mother's diary and she already knew the answer to her own question and was simply playing by the rules of polite conversation.

Richard stood awkwardly looking around the small room. He felt too tall for the space and there was no drinks trolley in sight. He wished he'd thought to bring his book, babies and pregnancy were not topics he wished to discuss, especially not with his daughter.

Noticing Christopher still standing in the doorway Lorelai offered him her hand and gave him a peck on the cheek, "so glad you could come Chris, Rory really wanted you to all be here tonight, I know it means a lot to her that you made it." Christopher looked at his ex-wife, pregnant with a child that could have been theirs and felt a sudden need for a whiskey, or three. As if reading his mind Lorelai spoke, "so, who wants a drink?"

"Lorelai, as rude as it is to greet your guests in the doorway, you should at least take our coats and scarfs before offering us a drink." Emily's voice cut across the room.

"Okay mother," Lorelai held out her hand, palm upturned, to receive their coats which she then took to hang up in the closet in the spare room. When she returned she repeated her original question, directing them to take a seat in the lounge while she went to fulfil their requests.

Rory was hiding out in the kitchen when Lorelai went in to pour two shots of whiskey and a glass of Chardonnay.

"So hun, are you going to sit on your hand all night or do you want to get this out of the way now? It'll be like ripping off a bandaid." Rory's face turned pale at the comparison.

Jess, looking especially presentable in an olive green dress shirt and dark trousers, came to stand behind her, taking her hand in his, "let's get it over and done with. Your mum's right. We go in there, show them your ring, tell them we plan to get married in the Spring on the bridge in Stars Hollow. We can save the other part of our news for dessert." he gestured to her still discreet baby bump.

"So a Spring time wedding huh?" Rory teased him, relaxing at his touch. Looks like she wasn't the only one making secret plans. Maybe she'd show him the folder under the bed if they survived this dinner. "Okay," she conceded, "let's get this over and done with."

Luke and Lorelai entered the lounge room first carrying the guests drinks. Another round of greetings were passed around the room, stopping only when Rory and Jess appeared from the kitchen. Jess had his right arm wrapped protectively around Rory's waist and held her left hand in his.

"Thank you all for coming," Rory began, looking to Jess for reassurance, "I'd like you all to meet Jess Mariano, my fiancé."

The room was silent until Christopher rose from his seat, offering his hand to Jess before hugging his daughter. "Congratulations Rory, Jess. I have to admit I kinda suspected this might be the surprise but I'm glad to be here to hear the news in person."

Richard cleared his throat before repeating Christopher's sentiment. Emily remained speechless on the armchair, her suspicions had been correct, this was that same young hoodlum who'd not even hung around long enough to enjoy the roast she'd had made especially for him all those years ago. How could her daughter allow this to happen? Rory could have been a Huntzberger but no, she wanted to settle for this? Emily rose from her seat and excused herself to the bathroom, making an easy assumption as to its location in the tiny apartment. Rory looked at Jess who gave her a reassuring squeeze before leading her over to the lounge so he could meet her father and grandfather properly.

Emily was startled by a knock at the bathroom door. She expected it to be Lorelai so called out for her to come in but was startled when she looked up to see Luke standing there.

"Emily, we are about to go downstairs for dinner. Rory and Jess have put a lot of time and effort into making sure this night will be perfect for you."

She went to speak but he continued on with his speech. He had been in Jess's shoes and he would not let this woman ruin his nephew's chance at happiness like she had tried to ruin his with Lorelai. He no longer cared for her approval having realised long ago that he didn't want or need it. Lorelai chose him and that was all that mattered.

"You might think you know Jess because you met him one time when he was 18 and a swan had attacked him leaving him with a black eye and an even bigger chip on his shoulder than the one he was already accustomed to carrying around at the time but that does not mean you get to walk in here tonight and write him off as not being good enough for your granddaughter. Jess has done a lot of growing up over the years. He is a published author and did you see that shop downstairs? This is the third branch in a franchise that he built up himself from the ground with 2 other guys. He has waited a long time for this chance with Rory and I will not stand by and watch you get in the way. You have two choices, you find something nice to say and come down and join us all for dinner - a dinner that Jess himself has been working hard all day to cook for you I might add - or you get your coat and leave." He didn't allow Emily a chance to respond he simply turned around and walked back out of the bathroom, almost running into Lorelai as he made his way back to the lounge.

"You never cease to amaze me Luke Danes," she smiled up at him pulling him into her for a passionate kiss before returning to the lounge hand in hand where they announced it was time to head downstairs for dinner.

Emily quietly took her place at the table downstairs a few minutes after the others were settled, unable to meet anyone's eye but determined not to miss whatever else the evening might have yet to reveal.

The meal passed by with adequate small talk to fill the gaps between the awkward silences and glances around the table. Jess and Richard had discovered their mutual love for Hemingway and seemed to bond over it. Richard also seemed genuinely interested in Truncheon books and Jess's own published works. Maybe he's not such a bad match for Rory he conceded in his own mind however he daren't voice it, not when his wife was still sitting in sullen silence beside him. There was definitely a vibe in the room and it was sadly not celebratory. Jess cleared the plates then came back to ask Rory to come and help him with the dessert. Rory welcomed the escape and rewarded him with a kiss as soon as they were back in the safe confines of their apartment, each counting down the minutes until they'd once again have the space to themselves and could put this awkward evening behind them.


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29**

**Tiramisu For Two**

The conversation at the table remained stilted while Rory and Jess were upstairs getting the final course, the guests all silently agreeing on one thing - they would be happy when this dinner was over. Lorelai glanced at Luke, trying to catch his eye. He reached for her hand under the table, giving it an assuring squeeze. Luke chanced a look in Emily's direction to see her tracing an invisible pattern on the table cloth with her spoon. Richard was sitting back and appeared to be taking a nap. Christopher had excused himself from the table and was browsing through the books stacked on a table by the front window. Luke looked back at Lorelai, raising his eyebrows and nodding to the stairs. She shrugged her shoulders, if they knew what was good for them they'd be out the fire escape and in the next town by now given how well the dinner was going so far and the fact that they still had one other very big piece of news to share, one that no amount of scheming on Emily's part could ever erase.

Jess and Rory were stalling. They both acknowledged the fact but neither made any attempt to go back downstairs with the promised dessert.

"The sooner we go down the sooner they eat their Tiramisu and we can kick them out and never have to see them again," Jess pointed out.

"I don't want to kick them all out. Dad has been so good about everything so far and Grandad too, I feel like he was making an effort at least, but grandma?! How dare she just sit there like that! I'd rather she had just left. And now, now we have to go down there and tell them we're having a baby too?" Rory was in a state of panic at the mere thought.

"What if I go down there and tell them and if the coast is clear I'll come back up to get you. I don't want you to have any more stress than you've already had tonight. It's not good for you or the baby." he pointed out.

"Would you really do that for me?" she asked.

"Of course Rory, if that's what you want, I told you I'd do anything for you and I meant it." Rory nodded at him before settling herself back down at the kitchen table. Jess picked up the dish containing the dessert and went down to their guests.

"Rory's not feeling well," he excused his fiancé, "but there's one more piece of news she still wants me to share with you." All eyes were on him as he placed the dessert dish down in the middle of the table. He started to speak when he felt Rory's presence behind him.

"Thank you Jess, I can't make you do this on your own." she placed the serving spoons he'd left in the kitchen next to the dessert on the table. Stepping back to his side, grasping his hand in hers she took a deep breath and announced "we're having a baby."

Emily gasped and rose from the table before Rory could say another word. Observing his wife's behaviour Richard made his apologies and followed his wife to the door, leaving without bothering to collect their coats.

"Well everything makes sense now doesn't it? Like mother like daughter." she laughed a humourless laugh as Richard started the car and turned it towards the Gilmore mansion.

Lorelai stood up to comfort her daughter, "she'll come around hun, just give her time. She has to come back and get her coat at some point anyway." Rory shuddered at the thought.

Christopher came over to shake Jess's hand and congratulate him for the second time that evening. He waited for Lorelai to step aside before wrapping his arms around his daughter. He had to admit he was pretty shocked by the news but he had a good feeling about the young couple. He saw true, unguarded affection between them. In a way they reminded him a bit of him and Lorelai in their youth, he just hoped they got a happier ending.

"I think I'm going to go to," he told his daughter, "you call me if you need anything. Jess, I had a look around while you were getting dessert and I really like what you've done to this place already. I was planning to discuss this after dinner but I guess now is as good a time as any, here's my card, I'd like you to give me a call if you're ever looking for an investor." Jess took the card, unable to completely conceal the surprise on his face.

"Thank you Christopher. I'll give it some thought and let you know." They shook hands once more. Christopher nodded towards Luke and Lorelai who had returned with his coat and scarf, saying a blanket "goodbye" to them both before showing himself out.

"So, that went as I'd expected, better than I'd expected or worse than I'd expected? I will be pondering this for days and I don't think the answer will be as easy as 42 this time." Lorelai glanced over at Luke who was now clearing the remainder of the plates from the table.

"How about help you clear up and then leave you to dissect this memorable evening alone?"she suggested.

"Don't worry about that," Jess assured them, gesturing toward the table. "You've already done enough for us today. Thank you, both of you. This would have been a hell of a lot worse without you here." Rory nodded in agreement.

"I'll come by and collect the chairs and boxes tomorrow then?" Luke asked, he was feeling the stress of the day too and was suddenly very weary. Luke went upstairs to gather Lorelai's purse and their coats, meeting the trio back at the door. Hugs of varying degrees of awkwardness were exchanged.

"You didn't even have any tiramisu!" Rory cried after them as they walked out the door, as if that was the one factor that might have kept the dinner party from ending in such an abysmal way.

The doors were locked, the candles blown out, and the last of the dishes stacked in the sink to wash in the morning when Rory and Jess sat together at their kitchen table.

"Tiramisu?" Jess offered Rory a spoon. She took it gratefully, spooning a generous serving of his delicious creation into her mouth.

She smiled at him across the table, "this alone makes up for the rest of the evening! Magical tiramisu for two."

Jess smiled back at her, it was going to take a lot more than a dessert for her to move on from the events of this evening but he was relived to see her smiling. They could talk about the rest tomorrow.

"Hey Jess," she said as they got ready for bed, "you know how in 'A Tale Of Two Cities' Dickens says 'it was the best of times, it was the worst of times...'? I feel like that sums up our day." She looks down at the ring on her finger that hadn't been there when she went to bed the night before. "Yes," she agreed with her own comparison, "I vote we focus on the 'best' bits for now and deal with the 'worst' bits tomorrow. Now how about you tell me a little story while I try to go to sleep. I like the one about the Spring wedding on a bridge, tell me that one." Tucking his future wife in then climbing into bed beside her, Jess indulged her with her request, watching as her eyes drifted shut, kissing her forehead before turning out his bedside lamp, snuggling up beside her and giving in to sleep himself.


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

**Goodwill**

It had been over a week since the disastrous dinner and still Richard and Emily's coats and scarfs remained uncollected. Rory had moved them down to hang on a coat rack in the front corner of the shop the morning after the party to avoid having to invite her grandparents in when they did come to collect them. Jess saw the way her face changed every time she walked past them as she went about her errands. As soon as she finished getting ready she was heading to Stars Hollow today for Lorelai's baby shower. He was blessedly excused from the event on account of being male.

Rory's bump was becoming harder to conceal and so she shrugged her shoulders to her reflection in the mirror, pulled a jersey knit dress from her cupboard holding it up against her body. Yes, this would do. She pulled it on over her head, smoothing it over her abdomen, turning sideways in the mirror for a better view and smiling with pure joy. It wasn't like they needed to keep it a secret anymore. Everyone who needed to know already knew. She'd phoned Lane last week to share her news - the shrieks in response to her engagement were whispers in comparison to the ones she let free when Rory told her she was pregnant too.

"Due mid-May," she explained to her best friend over the phone.

"Oh wow Rory! How did you keep this from me for this long?" Lane's tone was not hurt but surprised.

"We just had some things to sort out first," Rory began to explain, "and we had to tell my grandparents and my dad and..." Rory's voice trailed off as she remembered the real reason it had taken all this time before she'd made this phone call. If there was anyone else she could open up to about Dean it would be Lane but Rory remembered her mother's words - she wished she didn't know - and buried away all thoughts of burdening Lane with this information too.

"So, I guess I'll be seeing you at the baby shower?" Rory asked.

"Absolutely, I wouldn't miss it for the world. Mumma Kim has been baking spelt muffins and even bought a gift. Apparently Lorelai did things the correct way this time and therefore deserves a gift or maybe the baby deserves a gift. I was a little bit confused to be honest but my mother has always been a deceptively multi layered person. Still waters run deep and all that."

Rory could hear crying in the background and had ended the call, letting Lane get back to baby Florence. Remembering now what Lane had said Rory ran her hand over her bump again as she looked in the mirror one last time, "no presents for us baby."

Jess looked up as Rory reached the bottom of the stairs.

"Wow! You ready then?" he asked her.

She realised the double meaning in his question and shrugged her shoulders "kinda getting into now or never territory," gesturing to her bump "and I don't fancy being a hermit for the next 5 months."

"You look beautiful," Jess came over to kiss her sweetly on her cheek, slipping her hair behind her ear to allow himself better access. Noticing the apprehensive look that passed over her face he reassured her, "they will all be happy for you Rory, I'm sure of it. Maybe just leave out the part about the father if you think it'll help your case." He was only half teasing.

"Oh, but that's my favourite part," Rory assured him, curling her hands up into the back of his hair as she pulled his lips to hers for a proper kiss. "I really had better go," she admitted although being a hermit, assuming Jess came as part of the package, was looking to be a pretty good option at this moment.

"Say hi to your mum and Lane for me," Jess walked her to the door, standing there watching her until her car pulled away.

Turning back into the store Jess spotted the coats still hanging on the rack and without giving himself time to change his mind he grabbed them and his keys, locked up the store and got in his car, hoping he still remembered the way to the Gilmore mansion.

After a few detours Jess found the house. He parked his car in the street and grabbed the coats from the passenger seat. He stood there by his car for several minutes as if suddenly realising where he was but with no idea how he came to be here. The last time he'd been at this house Rory was a prisoner within its walls. She hadn't realised it at the time or maybe she was just beginning to. Her relationship with her grandparents had been rocky before he came back into the picture, he reassured himself. Sure, he was never going to expect a red carpet welcome from these people but he didn't want his future wife to avoid them because of him. He locked his car, put his keys in his pocket and ran his hand back through his hair then walked on towards the doors, not stopping again until he had knocked then he stood back and waited.

The door was swiftly answered by a maid, "how may I help you?" she enquired in an efficient tone.

"I'm here to return these belongings," Jess raised the coats in his hand slightly to show her.

"Mrs Gilmore is out but Mr Gilmore is in his study, if you like I can show you in and let him know you're here."

"Thank you." Jess replied as he followed her through to the sitting room. Richard came through a few minutes later, rebuttoning his jacket.

"Why hello there Jess, this is quite an unexpected surprise," he said, obviously uncomfortable.

"I came to return your belongings, you left without your coats and I didn't think Emily would appreciate me donating them to Goodwill." Jess retorted. Richard looked at the young man before him for a moment before allowing a deep chuckle to erupt from his mouth.

"Well, you made the right decision, Emily may have attempted to turn your hide into a replacement." Jess felt himself beginning to relax and when Richard invited him to come and peruse the books in his study Jess followed him.

He'd been in this room before too, he remembered the painting of Rory. He'd scoffed at it that first night but now he saw it for what it was - a perfect representation of Rory in her element - and could see why Richard had given it pride of place in this impressive room. The two men made no mention of the events of the dinner the week before, instead they spent the next 2 hours discussing Hemingway, Truncheon and even Jess's own books which Richard had purchased copies of earlier that week. Jess took this as a good sign, not necessarily approval but a step in the right direction at least. Realising the time, he made his apologies getting up to leave.

"She'll come around," Richard spoke as they reached the front door, "Just give her time." Jess nodded. Time seemed suddenly in short supply when you were marking off the days before a due date, before your life changed forever. He hoped for Rory's sake Emily didn't take too long.


	31. Chapter 31

**_A/N happy Sunday everyone, hope you've enjoyed all the updates. Still a few up my sleeve for tomorrow. Enjoy :)_**

**Chapter 31**

**It Was All Yellow**

Rory could hardly take in all the details as she walked into the Dragonfly Inn for Lorelai's baby shower. Sookie had clearly gone all out, no surface left bare, and it was all yellow! Luke, being the traditional kind of man he was, didn't want to know what the baby was going to be until he could see for himself and Lorelai was happy to oblige him as long as he continued to satisfy her pregnancy cravings, with food or otherwise. They were both happy with the terms of the agreement even if the rest of the townsfolk were frustrated over not knowing the gender of the new resident to be.

Rory made her way past the tables overflowing with cupcakes and pastries and cookies decorated to look like bumble bees and daisies to the kitchen.

Sookie squealed and raced around the counter to throw her arms around Rory, "let me see! Let me see!"

Rory beamed at her mum's best friend, not at all surprised to know Lorelai had already spilled her news. She raised her left hand to show Sookie her ring placing it lovingly over her tummy when Sookie was finished her examination.

"Is there something else your mother didn't tell me?" Sookie asked in her singsong voice.

"I'm due mid May," Rory confirmed. Sookie threw her arms around Rory once more, tears in her eyes as she congratulated her.

"Oh Rory, you are going to be the most beautiful bride and you are going to have the most gorgeous baby, I mean with his hair and your eyes, or your hair and his eyes, and that jawline and your cheekbones and..."

"Sookie, you haven't been on 'makemebabies' again have you? I thought we'd talked about this," Lorelai joined her two favourite women in the kitchen. "Hi hun," she gave Rory a welcoming hug. "Don't you look especially pretty today," she observed, silently approving Rory's outfit choice and what it signified. Keeping secrets had never been Lorelai's forte and she'd been keeping this one for weeks! She'd caved in a moment of weakness and told Sookie about her daughter's engagement but had stopped herself before divulging any more. Sookie was already planning the wedding menu but would likely reconsider the triple layer coffee, mocha and chocolate cake she'd envisaged now she knew about the baby. "The place looks amazing Sookie!" Lorelai gushed. "You've really outdone yourself."

"You really love it?" Sookie asked, blushing.

"Like sunshine on a cloudy day," Lorelai assured her.

The three women remained in the kitchen chatting away happily, just like old times, until the rest of the guests began to arrive. Lorelai sensed her daughter's trepidation and saw her rubbing her hand over her bump as if trying to smooth it away like a wrinkle.

"Yeah, sweets, I don't think that's going to work," Lorelai caught Rory's eye. "You don't have to come if you don't feel up to it." she offered.

"Of course I want to come to your baby shower Mum, I don't want to miss it, I just, well, I'm nervous." she admitted.

"Well first of all, thankyou, I really want you to be here too. I mean it's not like you could've attended even if I had have had a baby shower the first time around, well technically you would have been there but..."

"Mum?" Rory cut her off recognising the train had derailed and trying to get it back on the track before the guest came to find them standing here in the kitchen.

"Oh, yes, the point." Lorelai got the hint, "what I was going to say was, those people in there, they all love you and yes, while it will take them bit of time to adjust to this idea that the town princess is engaged to the town hoodlum and expecting his baby, eventually they will come around and they will be so incredibly happy for you. Their princess is having a princess, or a prince. What's not to be happy about? Now stop fidgeting with your dress, get ready to flash that ring because that will speak volumes and save you some effort and let's get in there and enjoy my party." Rory thanked her mum and hugged her then they linked arms and walked out into the dining room to the awaiting crowd.

The shower went by in a flurry of yellow and white, sugar and spice. It hadn't taken Rory long to relax back into the comforting arms of the townspeople, all of whom expressed joy at her news, well maybe not Mrs Kim but that was to be expected and she didn't stay for long anyway. Rory and Lane escaped the party heading back into the kitchen where they pulled up two stools near Sookie's pinboard.

"I can't believe you're 18 weeks and still look like that!" Lane exclaimed examining Rory's tiny bump and recalling her own seemingly massive one at the same stage.

"Do I need to remind you that you were growing twins Lane?" she raised her eyebrows at her best friend. "'Every woman and every pregnancy is different'" she quoted from one of the pregnancy books she'd been reading before bed each night. She knew Jess had been looking through it too as she'd found his telltale pencil marks in the margin. The thought made her smile and Lane noticed.

"You really are happy aren't you?" she asked her friend. They'd become distant while Rory had been living in New Haven. They were those kind of friends that would pick up right where they left off regardless of what time had passed though so she was never worried about the lack of contact. Lane herself was busy with a husband and three kids of her own. Looking at her friend now and thinking back to the last time they'd spoken, she sensed there was more to the story than Rory was letting on. For a fleeting moment she thought of Dean, she knew he had been living with Rory in New Haven at one point but hadn't heard his name mentioned at all lately. Lane decided not to ruin this happy day by asking prying questions. Rory would tell her in her own good time if there was anything to tell.

The last of the guests were gone and the gifts were piled into Lorelai's car. Rory was keen to get back so she wouldn't be driving in the dark and the days were shorter now with Christmas just a week away. It was just over 6 months since Luke and her mum got married. 6 months. So much had happened in so little time. She looked across the room to where her mother sat on the armchair by the fire with her feet up on a footstool, her belly looking ready to burst while her eyes were looking ready for a nap.

"I think I'm going to head home now Mum." Rory spoke as she approached the chair. "It was a lovely party."

"It really was, wasn't it?" Lorelai agreed, a nostalgic tone in her voice. She'd been thinking a lot about her first pregnancy today and now her first baby was pregnant. Her second child and her first grandchild would grow up like cousins, hopefully even best friends. It could have been the sugar talking but she honestly did not think she'd ever been so happy in her entire life and, despite a lot of bad, she had so many amazing memories to measure this moment against but still, it seemed to be winning, for now. She suspected it would be trumped very soon when this baby made an appearance. She bid her firstborn goodbye from her place in the chair, they'd need a forklift to move her from this spot, or at least a strong man in a plaid shirt.

"See you in a week," she called after her daughter, "and don't forget to remind Jess that the sweater is not optional and there will be no dinner for those who don't partake in the true spirit of the day." Rory laughed, she was yet to reveal to Jess the rules of the Gilmore family Christmas. She still had a week to break them to him.

"See you soon mum."

Rory smiled as she left the Inn, it had been a good afternoon. Everyone knew her news now and they all seemed to be happy for her. Everyone but one, she reminded herself as she thought of her grandmother. She let herself in the front door noticing straight away that the coats were gone from the rack. She raced up the stairs to find Jess reading a book in the lounge.

"They came?" she asked, excitement creeping into her voice to mix with the hope it found there.

Jess didn't want to upset her but she needed to know the truth, "actually Rory, I returned them to the Gilmore house while you were at the inn." Rory's face sunk as he feared it would. "Hey, come sit down, it's not all bad news I promise." Rory removed her boots and coat and left them by the door before sitting sideways on the lounge, lifting her stockinged feet onto Jess's lap where he began to rub them as he told her about his visit with Richard. "So you see?" he repeated his earlier assurance, "not all bad news."

"Sure," was her only reply.


	32. Chapter 32

_**A/N a little bit of Chritmas Joy here. Hope you enjoy my attempt to lighten the mood a little. Thankyou so much to everyone who is still reading at this point and especially those who've taken the time to review, I really appreciate your feedback.**_

**Chapter 32**

**Traditions**

Rory woke Christmas morning to see snow falling outside her window. She looked down to the trundle on the floor where Jess still slept soundly and wrapping her robe around herself went out into the kitchen of her childhood home knowing it wouldn't be too long before her mother's nose alerted her to the change in the weather. Lorelai joined her moments later, wishing her daughter a Merry Christmas before suggesting they get dressed and go for a walk.

"But it's not even 7 yet!" Rory exclaimed pointing to the clock on the wall.

"But it's the first snow! Snow doesn't know how to tell time, it just falls when it chooses and who are we to judge." Lorelai insisted as she made her way back towards the stairs to get changed.

Rory knew her mother well enough to not argue and went back into her old room to pull on some jeans and a warm jumper. She stifled a giggle as she laid out Jess's outfit for him on the bed. She never had got around to explaining about the Gilmore traditions choosing to just spring it on him and give him no choice but to comply. She hid the rest of his clothes at the back of her wardrobe before sneaking out of the room to meet her mother at the door.

Watching her daughter as she pulled on her boots Lorelai suddenly asked her "what? What's that smile about?"

"Oh you'll see," she told her mum. "We shouldn't take too long on our walk though, we don't want to miss seeing Jess when he gets up."

Lorelai saw the devious gleam in Rory's eye and figured this likely had something to do with sweater she'd picked out online and had delivered to Rory in Hartford, "Well in that case, we'd better be quick, it would be rud-olph us to leave a guest to get his own breakfast." The girls giggled as they made their way down the front walk and into the town centre.

They sat for a break in the gazebo, just enjoying the quiet and watching the flurries floating through the air. The girls hadn't had much time alone together, not since the day Luke and Jess collected the last of Rory's belongings from New Haven.

"How's everything going hun?" Lorelai gently probed.

Rory let out a sigh, still watching the square as she admitted, "everything is pretty much perfect, well almost everything."

"She'll come around Rory. I know it might not seem like it at the moment but I guarantee you there is no way Emily Gilmore will let you get married and give birth to her first grandchild without finding some way to interfere. At least it seems like Dad is on your side. That's a good thing. And your dad too. Emily is just being Emily. She's probably convinced herself you owe her an apology and is waiting for you to beg at her door for forgiveness."

"Well she'll be waiting a long time if that's the case!" Rory responded bitterly. "How dare she come to my party and treat my fiancé like that. She didn't even give him a chance. I thought we had moved on from the tension after I turned down Logan's proposal, I stupidly believed they'd understood. No decision I make will ever be good enough for her will it?"

Lorelai considered her daughter's words before offering her view of things, "you're her do-over Rory. Lorelai 2.0. Emily thought she could make up for the mistakes I made through you and now she sees you making the same ones, albeit at a more appropriate age, but mistakes she once again couldn't prevent."

"But this is not a mistake!" Rory cried adamantly while placing both hands protectively over her bump. "Jess is not a mistake! An accident yes, but not a mistake."

"I know hun, believe me I know. Didn't you see my Team Jess T-shirt? I am the new Vice President of the Jess Mariano fan club, Patty insisted on being President but graciously let me be her 2IC. If I can be convinced then it is only a matter of time before Emily realises how ridiculous she's being. Speaking of Jess, we should probably be getting back right?" Lorelai reminded Rory.

Feeling a little bit better after her talk with her mum Rory put all thoughts of Emily out of her mind for now, choosing instead to try and imagine the look on her fiancés face when he woke to find his surprise.

Lorelai made no attempts to conceal her laughter when she entered the kitchen and saw Jess sitting at the table, eating some toast, wearing the reindeer sweater she'd chosen especially for him. It was red with white snowflakes and Rudolph was doing his best James Dean impression complete with black sunglasses covering his eyes, hooves crossed over his chest and a scarf thrown around his neck like a hipster.

"Thankyou so much for laying my clothes out for me Rory," Jess addressed his fiancé with mock sincerity but quickly smiled at her, unable to help himself.

She removed her jacket to reveal her own sweater, "you know how us Gilmore's feel about traditions!"

"Oh yes, I respect you for sticking by your traditions," he smiled at her, remembering a day when Rory had cited 'tradition' as her reason for leaving her boyfriend standing speechless before them while he and Rory had gone off to enjoy a quiet picnic together, the memory of which still remained amongst the happiest in his life.

"So, what else might I expect from this day, traditionally speaking of course?" Jess enquired.

"Well, as soon as Luke is up we will do presents and then make popcorn and cranberry garlands and decorate cookies and..."

"Then we can all hold hands and skip afterwards," Luke interrupted his wife as he came to join his family in the kitchen. Jess roared with laughter as he saw Luke's reindeer sweater with its homage to Tony Manero.

"I wouldn't laugh too loudly Jess," Lorelai warned, "they may not have had this in your size for his year but I may have placed a back order."

"Huh, fancy that!" Jess scoffed, "There really is a market for everything now!"

"Present time!" Rory announced, breaking up the playful bickering. They all followed her into the lounge, Luke and Lorelai sitting on the lounge while Rory sat a cushion on the floor leaning back next to her mums legs.

Before he could claim the armchair Lorelai spoke "I guess you get to play Santa Claus then Jess, I know you two go way back."

Jess passed out the gifts without protest. This was quite unlike any Christmas he had ever experience. The last few years he'd stayed in alone with his books and a bottle of whiskey. He liked the quiet that settled over the city, everyone busy in their own little world leaving him alone to enjoy the peace and solitude. At the time he'd thought he was happy spending the day that way but now he could see what he'd been missing out on and he looked forward to a future as a part of this family, ridiculous sweaters and all. He handed the last gift to Rory, kissing her before settling into the armchair. He sat back and watched as presents were unwrapped and smiles and thank yous were exchanged, reaching for his own pile of gifts almost as an afterthought.

Lorelai and Luke had bought him a leather satchel. Rory's gift to him was a framed picture of them taken the evening of their housewarming party and a copy of "A Tale Of Two Cities". He opened the cover to see her neat handwriting inside -_ "All my times with you will always be the best of times, Rory." _He pulled his fiancé up from her cushion, pulling her into his lap.

"Thankyou," he whispered before kissing her.

A cough from Lorelai's direction alerted him that he was getting a little carried away. Rory flushed in embarrassment but no one could ignore the happiness radiating from her gorgeous face. Luke was carefully studying the field guide Jess had given him, oblivious to the young couple's PDA.

"We have something else for you too but it was a bit big to have it all here in the lounge. Grab your coats, it's just in the garage." Rory and Jess followed her with Luke finally putting down his book when he noticed the movement.

"Oh now?" he asked Lorelai, "you're showing them now?" Lorelai nodded and Luke quickly rose, grabbing his own coat as he followed them out the door.

"Now," Lorelai began before opening the door, "part of this gift is from us but part of it is also from Sookie and Jackson. It's not all brand new, some of it is preloved. If you don't like it you don't have to keep it."

"Okay mum, can we please see it now?" Rory asked impatiently.

Luke opened the door to the garage to reveal a pale blue cot and change table that Rory recognised as being from Sookie's and a brand new stroller complete with baby capsule for the car.

"Wow mum, Luke! This is great. Of course I love this cot and that stroller looks fancier than my car!" Luke coughed behind her prompting her to look back at her mother with a questioning gaze.

"Well, you see, when I went to buy a stroller for our baby they had this incredible sale and everything was 750% off and I couldn't decided which one I wanted so I bought two figuring you could have whichever one we didn't choose to keep. I know you've still got 5 months before you'll need any of this stuff and you're welcome to leave it here in the meantime, we just didn't want you worrying about money. There's a lot to consider when getting set up for a baby. I hope you don't mind not getting to pick these things out for yourself, like I said you don't have to keep them if you don't want them." Rory looked at Jess and saw him smiling back at her.

"Thanks mum, thanks Luke! Everything is perfect." She hugged them both and then Jess surprised everyone, including himself, when he did the same.

The rest of the day was spent cooking and eating and laughing and watching Christmas movies on TV. No one needed to speak the words out loud but they all were in agreement that this had indeed been a happy Christmas. The first of many more to come.


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33**

**Silver Linings and Such Things**

The week between Christmas and New Year flew by with Jess working until all hours of the morning getting the store ready for its official opening in the new year. Chris and Matt were due to arrive on the 2nd in preparation for the Grand opening on the 3rd. They arranged a few authors to come along to present passages from their books and his partners had talked Jess into getting up to do a reading from his own original work. So far Jess had been putting the thought of this off, he still hadn't decided which book or which passage. Maybe he'd just wing it, recite the words to a Clash song, see if anyone besides Rory even noticed. He stood back to look around, stretching his back and moving his head side to side to release the tension in his neck. Deciding it was as good as it was going to get he turned out the lights, quietly climbed the stairs to the apartment and crawled into bed beside his sleeping fiancé.

Rory wasn't feeling the best and Jess was tired from too many late nights so the couple decided to stay in, ordering takeaway pizza that they ate together snuggled on the couch, watching a movie while they waited for the new year to arrive. Sometime after 1am Jess stirred to find they had fallen asleep in front of the TV.

"Happy New Year Rory," he gently kissed her awake, too tired himself to attempt to carry her to their room. Rory woke enough to comply when he helped her to her feet and wrapped his arm around her waist, propelling her feet towards their bed.

"Happy New Year Jess," she whispered as her eyes drifted shut again.

Jess kissed her on the forehead then tucked the blankets up around her shoulders the way he knew she liked them and snuggled up behind her, his heart swelling as he felt their baby kicking under his hand where it rested on her smooth skin. It was going to be a big year for them in more ways than one.

Chris and Matt arrived on the 2nd as promised both looking a little worse for wear, clearly they had seen the new year in in a different manner to Jess. They had a look around the new store, both seeing it for the first time, and were impressed by what Jess had done with the place. They ran through the last details for the party the following night before heading out for some lunch. Jess had been right in his earlier suspicion, Matt and Amanda we're seeing each other and Matt seemed pretty happy with himself.

Jess warned him not to screw up "I'll fire you before I fire her, she's the better employee if you ask me."

Looking to Chris for backup, he just held up his hands and said "hey, don't look at me, I'm Switzerland."

They caught each other up on news from their respective branches and Jess told them about Rory's father and his interest in investing. He hadn't called Christopher yet but he had kept his card and planned to contact him as long as Matt and Chris were onside.

"It can't hurt to set up a meeting," Chris said and Matt agreed.

"I'll get onto it once this party is out of the way," Jess planned.

Matt pulled Jess aside once they were back in the store. He reached for his bag where he'd stowed it behind the counter, pulling a book from it. It had a plain navy blue cover with no printing on it.

He handed it to Jess explaining, "I found a printout of this in your old office and figured you'd probably planned to do this but didn't get around to it."

Jess opened the cover to see his words on the page inside. This was the book he'd written for Rory when she'd gone back to New Haven after telling her mum and Luke about Dean.

"I didn't read it," Matt assured him, "well not really."

Jess just nodded still staring at the words on the page.

"Thanks," he said sincerely, looking up at Matt finally. "It looks great."

Jess excused himself and went upstairs to the apartment. He bypassed the kitchen where he could see Rory sitting, laptop open, books by her side, in a state of deep concentration. She'd finally got a response from one of her applications and was now working on a few book reviews. It wasn't much for now but it was a start and he knew she felt glad to get back to work. Jess planned on talking to Matt and Chris about the possibility of her working for them, she could help with the store while he got on with editing the manuscripts that were awaiting his attention. He could probably get her to help him with them too - hell, she was far more qualified than he was to edit other people's work! He carefully placed the plain covered book Matt had given him between the mattress and the bed base, he wasn't quite ready to give it to Rory yet. He went back downstairs and ran his idea for his new assistant by his two partners, not at all surprised when they agreed. He would ask her later in the week once the opening was done and dusted. He was optimistic that this party would be a welcome contrast to the last one.

People began to trickle through the doors as the last of the day's light disappeared from the sky. It was an eclectic mix and the mood was light and jovial. It was time for speeches and Jess wished he could hide out upstairs but knew it wasn't an option so he sucked it up and took to the stage, thanking everyone for coming and introducing the first of the authors to present their reading. When it came to his own turn he encouraged everyone to refresh their drinks while they took a short break, promising to be back with something brand new. Jess kissed Rory as he passed her on his way up the stairs. He retrieved the book he'd placed under the mattress the day before, finally having decided what passage he would read.

"Now, this isn't a book you will ever be able to buy. I wrote this for one person only but I decided I would like to share a little piece of it with you tonight." Jess explained on returning to the makeshift stage.

Everyone seemed to stand up a bit straighter, not wanting to miss out on an exclusive they could brag to their friends about over coffee. Rory gave Jess a perplexed look but he just smiled at her and shrugged, his eyes not leaving hers as he began.

"This book is for my beautiful fiancé," all eyes on the room followed the path of Jess's and Rory's face turned pink as they all turned in her direction. "I wrote this when you were 173 miles away," he explained to her, seemingly forgetting they were in a room full of strangers. "It's called 'Silver Linings and Such Things'".

The passage he spoke was short but his voice lulled the room into a blissful state. No one spoke when he finished and then suddenly the room erupted with applause. Jess gave Rory an apologetic look as he was swept back into the crowd, fielding questions as to why exactly he wouldn't be publishing that book and if they could read more of it now. Rory came and stood by his side long enough to kiss him and whisper thankyou in his ear before stealing the book from his back pocket and escaping the party to enjoy it in the comfort of their apartment. Jess knew she'd taken the book, she wasn't as adept a Dodger as he was. He smiled as he watched her disappear up the stairs, counting the minutes until he could go up there and find out what she thought of his latest book. Hers was the only opinion that mattered.

Rory made herself comfortable in the armchair then opened her book. She ran her finger over the dedication_ "To my future wife and our silver lining"._ She recalled his words, 173 miles away, he'd written this when she'd returned to New Haven without him. She read his love for her in every single word and when she reached the last page she turned them all back and started again.

Sometime later Rory checked the time, the party had to be all but over by now. She rose from the chair, stretching her back as she went into the bedroom to tuck her precious book under her pillow before heading back down to join the party. She'd been right, the majority of the crowd was gone, only Jess, Matt, Chris and a handful of stragglers remained. Jess excused himself from the guy he'd been stuck talking to for the last 15 minutes and went to meet Rory halfway.

"So?" he asked her.

"I don't think this is an appropriate location to give you your review." Rory smiled coyly at him.

Within 20 minutes the place was empty, the doors locked and Jess was taking the steps two at a time to get back to Rory's side. He found her propped up in their bed, book in hand, waiting for him.

He took the book from her, placing it on the bedside table, "can we save the play by play for tomorrow?"

"I think that can be arranged," she agreed, welcoming him to join her under the covers. She paused for a moment, extracting her lips from his, "there's just one thing I wanted to ask."

Jess had already turned his attention to the silky skin covering the edge of her jawbone, "ask away," he invited.

"You knew I was going to say yes?" she whispered the question but he heard it clear as day.

"I didn't know it, no, but I did hope it to be true."

"Hope, huh?" she gently teased.

"Yeah, I read about it somewhere, thought I might give it a try."

**_A/N the title for this chapter is from a poem I wrote last year._**

_Silver Linings and Such Things_

_I struggle to recollect  
A time free of torment  
My creativity mirroring  
My degree of discontent  
It echoes now back at me  
In these words upon the page  
Suddenly my thoughts are clear  
And all the world's my stage  
A supernatural reward  
My melancholy mood does bring  
This burst of inspiration  
Silver linings and such things_


	34. Chapter 34

_**A/N I've tweaked the appearance of my fic, altered a few chapter titles and corrected some errors. I added a little extra note at the end of Chapter 33 if you want to flick back, it's at the very bottom. I wasn't going to share it but then decided I would after all. Sincerest thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed and favourited and followed. I'm still just letting the story lead me where it wants to go but I can see a few interesting interactions ahead, including some girl time with Lane. Anyway, enough from me, enjoy #34 :)**_

**Chapter 34**

**Welcome Arrivals**

At 7:27am on the 13th January Lorelai gave birth to a healthy baby boy.

At 7:42am Rory woke to find her mobile ringing "you've got a baby brother!" she heard her mother's voice over the line.

"Oh boy! A baby boy! Oh wow mum, congratulations! When can we come and see you?"

Rory's enthusiasm had woken Jess who was now sitting up beside her in bed, deciphering the news from what he could hear on his end of the line. He smiled to himself as he thought of his uncle with a son - that was one lucky kid. Ending the call and jumping out of bed, Rory rushed to the bathroom to get ready to go to the hospital.

Returning ten minutes later to find Jess still under the covers, eyes opening and drifting in her direction as she reached the side of the bed, "up! We've got a baby to visit and I don't want to be late!" Jess shook his head at her but pushed the covers back and began to get up recognising now was not a time to argue.

Unable to help himself he asked "what's the rush? He kept us waiting 9 whole months surely he can wait at least another hour, maybe 2...?" on his way out the door, narrowly avoiding the pillow Rory had thrown in his direction.

"I see you still throw like a girl," he popped his head back around the doorframe anticipating the scowl he saw on his fiancés face. She poked her tongue at him as he disappeared, moments later she smiled as she heard the shower running.

Now, "what goes best with a baby?" she asked herself while rummaging through her closet. She decided on the same dress she'd worn to her mum's baby shower, she really needed to get some maternity clothes! Or better still, she knew someone who shared her size and taste and would no longer be requiring hers anymore. She'd raid her mother's wardrobe later in the week when she was settled back home.

Jess returned from the shower, drops of water still collecting at the ends of his hair, splashing onto Rory's face when he came to kiss her good morning. He was dressed and ready quickly and they were out the door on their way to the hospital within half an hour of Lorelai's call. They stopped once along the way for coffee and danishes and a bunch of flowers for Lorelai. Rory had been waiting to find out if she was getting a brother or sister and hadn't picked out a gift yet but she had a few ideas already.

"See, I told you they smell amazing!" Lorelai was assuring Luke as Rory and Jess arrived to find the tiny baby held securely in his flannel covered arms.

"I agree this particular smell is quite pleasant, it's all the other smells that concern me!" he clarified. Noticing they had company he turned to welcome his nephew and step daughter into the room.

"Do you want to hold him?" the question was meant for Rory but all eyes flew to Jess when he quietly answered "okay."

Realising his mistake he looked at Rory, "you go first."

Rory smiled at him, feeling warmth radiating inside her, "no, I think you should go first. After all there's no telling how long I might want to keep him once I have him and it could be a long wait for you." He silently thanked her for covering for him and tentatively took the infant from his uncle's arms.

"Wow, he's so light!" shocked and in awe Jess carried his cousin over to the window whispering to him inaudibly as he did. Lorelai patted a space next to her on the bed and Rory climbed on, embracing her mum and congratulating her for the second time that morning.

After Lorelai had shared all the gory details Rory became aware Jess was still holding the baby, having taken a seat in the recliner by the window.

"Hey there, baby hog," she got his attention, "is it my turn yet? I'm beginning to think my original assumption may have been wrong." Jess sheepishly stood and passed the tiny bundle to Rory's waiting arms, stepping back as he was suddenly overcome with emotion at the image before him.

"I think..." he started to talk, "I'm just...gonna take a walk." Jess suddenly felt like all the air had gone from the room and he needed to get out of there.

Seeing an exit door Jess pushed it open, stepping into a stairwell. He stood with his back to the wall trying to get his lungs to work properly and his vision to clear. He was somewhere between panic and euphoria but his mind couldn't decide which place to settle so he was stuck swinging back and forth between the two. He sank to the floor of the landing, back still to the wall as he placed his head between his knees waiting for the feeling to pass. A baby. He was going to be a father in 4 months. How was he going to raise a child? What if he screwed it up? A baby! He was going to be there to watch it grow and teach it to read and love Bowie and all with an incredible woman by his side who would share the adventure with him. He was going to try his damnedest not to let Rory or their child down. He would not be his father's son. Finally Jess relaxed, got back to his feet and walked back up the stairs to the maternity floor. When he returned to Lorelai's room Rory was now sitting in the recliner, still holding her baby brother. This time he walked straight over to her, kissing her cheek, confident that when it was their turn they would do just fine.

Right on the dot of 10am a familiar voice could be heard echoing down the corridor. Luke went to sit on the edge of Lorelai's bed while Jess stood next to Rory who was still in the recliner, the baby asleep in her arms. With barely a knock Emily entered her daughter's room with Richard close behind her. At first she didn't notice Rory, partially hidden by Jess, standing over her like a guardian. She rushed over to kiss her daughter and congratulate Luke. When she saw the empty bassinet she turned to find the baby cradled in Rory's arms. Letting out a strangled cry she excused herself and left the room. Rory gave the baby back to Jess who passed him back to Lorelai as Rory rose to follow Emily. Lorelai gave him a nod and he too left the room to find Rory.

Hospitals are always such rabbit warrens but he soon found the two women standing in a small sunroom, Emily staring out the window at the parking lot below while Rory watched her, waiting to see who would speak first. Jess decided to give them their space to talk but waited in the corridor nearby in case Rory needed him. Eventually Emily turned to Rory, tears in her eyes as she finally apologised for her behaviour a month earlier.

"Seeing you there, holding that baby, it just made me realise how much I have to lose. I already missed out on your childhood, I don't want to miss out on knowing my great grandchild and seeing you blossom into a mother. I've made the mistake of comparing you to Lorelai in the past but in truth you are all the best parts of her. You are a strong, independent, remarkable young woman Rory. I should have had more faith in your choices rather than judging them. I have spoken to your grandfather and he gave me a few things to think about too. It seems he is rather taken with this young man of yours and is encouraging me to give him a second chance. I hope you might both like to come for dinner sometime soon. It was a shame we didn't even get to have dessert last time. I always did like Tiramisu."

Rory stood there in shock listening to this seemingly genuine and humble apology. Wary of letting her guard down she thanked Emily for her apology but the rest could wait. She would see what Jess thought about dinner before committing them to it.

"We should probably get back," Rory suggested, gesturing in the direction of Lorelai's room.

Jess arrived back at the room a minute before Emily and Rory, just in time for an important announcement from Lorelai.

"While you three were gone," she began, while Rory looked at Jess questioningly, "we decided on a name for this darling baby boy. I wanted to call him Luke but Luke wouldn't let me so instead we have decided to name him William. William Lucas Danes."

"That's a good strong name," Emily offered while Richard nodded his approval. Rory and Jess gave William one last look before saying goodbye, promising to visit again that evening, leaving Lorelai to introduce her son to his grandmother properly.

"Is everything okay mum?" Lorelai asked Emily.

"Yes, I think it will be," Emily smiled. "Would it be okay if I hold him?" she asked.

"Of course you can Mum, you are his grandmother after all." Emily sat in the recliner with William in her arms, saying a silent promise to herself to stop dwelling on past mistakes and enjoy these new precious moments. She did not want to miss out this time.

"So, did you hear what Grandma said?" Rory asked Jess as they walked towards his car.

"Pretty much. I didn't want to intrude but I didn't want her upsetting you either." he confessed.

"Where do you think we go from here?" she asked him, "The thing is, I don't know if I can trust her. I believe she was being sincere but I just don't want to let her back into our lives because she was overwhelmed at the sight of me holding a baby and the bad memories it brought up for her," she explained.

"What if we start out small, go to dinner, I promise I won't have a black eye this time so it will already be an improvement on the last time I ate at the Gilmore mansion. We can test the water and then we can go from there," Jess suggested.

"Okay," Rory agreed.


	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter 35**

**The Letter**

Jess was usually the one to collect the post, most of it was for Truncheon anyway. If he had seen the letter first he might've chosen not to show it to Rory. As it was, Jess was busy on a call with a prospective author when the mail arrived that day. Rory was tending to the store, having happily agreed to the idea of working for Truncheon when Jess suggested it after the opening party. She was especially grateful for the timing as her leave payout from the Advocate had finished weeks ago and she'd been living between her savings and the small income from a few freelance jobs she'd managed to snare. She loved the smell of the place most of all, all those delicious books just waiting to have their pages turned. She and Jess worked surprisingly well together - Rory would run the floor while Jess worked from his office upstairs in the mornings then after lunch they'd trade places and it would be Rory's turn to get her work done.

She was waiting, almost patiently, for Jess to get off the phone and take over from her. It had been a quiet morning and she was beginning to get hungry and she had a brand new book to review. She was hovering by the front window display when the mail arrived. With nothing better to do she decided to sort it herself today. It was a small pile and all for the store except one. Originally addressed to her New Haven apartment, this letter had been redirected. The handwriting sent a chill down her spine and she suddenly felt cold and clammy. When Jess eventually finished his call and came downstairs he found her sitting on the floor next to the coat rack, pale and breathless.

"Rory? What happened? Is it the baby?" Jess was on the verge of panic himself at finding Rory in such a state.

Rory shook her head. She couldn't make her mouth form the words in her head so she held out the letter to him to explain. Jess took the letter from her, noting the New Haven address but still not seeing what could possibly have made her react in such a way. Turning it over in his hands he saw no return address but flipping it back he could now see it was postmarked Chicago. Dean. It had to be from Dean. There was no time for the fury that was threatening to rise within him, Rory was his first priority. He flipped the sign on the door to 'closed', turned the lock, and then sat down next to Rory where she remained in her shocked stupor.

"Do you want me to get you anything?" he asked her. She looked at him now, the veil that he hadn't seen over her eyes in weeks had suddenly returned.

He had to hold himself together for her now but seeing this change in her, and from just a piece of paper, made him realise that, despite the happiness they'd shared together these last couple of months, Dean was still haunting her. They'd spoken about counselling that one time but he hadn't wanted to push her and had never brought it up again. Now he wished he had. He looked down at the letter in his hands. Had Dean not understood Luke's terms? Did this guy have a death wish? Rory's voice was barely above a whisper when she finally spoke.

"Will you read it for me Jess?" she pleaded.

His first instinct was to refuse but then curiosity got the better of him and he had to admit, he wanted to know what the jerk had to say for himself. Opening the envelope, careful not to rip the page it contained, Jess read the short letter, crumpling it in his fist when he reached Dean's name at the bottom of the paper. Rory reached to take it from him and he watched her as she attempted to smooth the wrinkles and read between the scars they'd left on the page.

_Rory, _

_I don't even know if this letter will find you but I promise you I will not look for you. _

_I will never forgive myself for what I did to you. I can't even understand it myself. _

_I wake in the night like I'm in some horrible nightmare but then I realise it's real, _

_it's a memory not a dream, and I did that to you. I can barely live with myself knowing _

_I caused you pain and made you so afraid that you ran away from me._

_I am not writing to ask your forgiveness. I don't deserve it. I never deserved you. _

_Maybe in the beginning, for a fleeting moment, but then it passed and I lost you _

_by pushing too hard too fast and I never really got you back after that. _

_The day I saw you in New Haven I couldn't believe it was you. _

_When I knocked on your door and you let me into your life again I thought maybe _

_this was it, my chance to fix how things ended between us, but I blew it again. _

_I have no excuses, you're too smart for trite words. I only want to say _

_how deeply sorry I am and to tell you that none of this was your fault._

_I know I can never make up for what I did to you but I can promise you _

_that you will never have to see or hear from me again. _

_Dean_

Rory sat there, tears streaming down her face, not even noticing her hands as they shredded the letter into tiny pieces. Jess sat there beside her with no words to offer, just his arms to wrap around her with a silent promise to never let her go.

Eventually, when all her tears had been cried, Rory rose to her feet pulling Jess to stand beside her. Hand in hand they climbed the stairs to their safe haven leaving Dean's confession, now confetti, on the floor. When they reached the lounge, rather than sitting down next to Jess, Rory went to the kitchen, returning with some papers from the bottom drawer. Jess recognised them from the hospital in Elizabeth. Sitting down beside him on the chair Rory decided she was ready.

"I think I might like to see someone now." Jess held her hand in his while they looked through the phone numbers listed on the back of one of the information pamphlets together. It seemed something good might have come from Dean's letter after all. Jess looked at Rory, watching her as she read over one of the pages. His eyes then went to the swell of her abdomen where their child was safely protected, for a few more months at least. Looking back at Rory he found her gazing at him with questioning eyes.

Jess spoke without having first registered the thought in his mind "I think it might be time I deal with my past too."

The couple sat there in each other's arms for the rest of the afternoon. Neither one spoke, each processing their own thoughts. Silently acknowledging that this wasn't going to be easy but it was something they needed to do, if not for themselves and each other than for the baby. Two sets of hands drifted together to settle over the ever growing bump. Two tiny kicks beneath the surface brought smiles back to their faces and a new breed of hope into their hearts.


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter 36**

**Feast or Famine**?

It had been 16 days and Rory had not yet rung to confirm a night for dinner. Emily could leave it no longer and dialled her granddaughter's number. It went through to her voicemail the first time so she hung it up, she abhorred leaving messages and refused to do so unless it was of dire importance. Ten minutes later she tried again, this time the phone was answered by Jess's signature tone.

"This is Emily Gilmore, I'd like to speak to my granddaughter please," her own clipped tones rung so loud and clear over the line that Rory heard them as she lay beside Jess, barely awake.

"It's your grandmother," Jess passed the phone to Rory, rolling over in an attempt to get some more sleep. Rory and her pregnancy hormones had kept him up half the night. Not that he was complaining, just would've been nice to have a sleep in. Who even calls before 8am anyway? Surely there's a rule about that somewhere in some high society rule book. He'd be sure to ask Emily next time he saw her. He groaned as he rolled back onto his back, looking up at the ceiling as he listened to Rory's end of the conversation.

"Dinner?...This Friday?...I guess...Okay...Yes, at 7, I remember...See you then...bye grandma." Rory ended the call and lay back on her pillow groaning as Jess had moments before.

"So I guess we've got dinner plans for Friday night?" he asked her. Rory just nodded her head in response. There was no way she'd get back to sleep now, she needed to find something appropriate to wear and she wondered where she'd find a suit of armour for Jess at such short notice. She had a bad feeling, despite Emily's apology at the hospital, that he'd be needing one.

The remainder of the week passed in an anxious blur. Rory had another session with her counsellor and was making good progress. She discussed her decision to keep the truth about what had happened with Dean from her grandparents but was now worried about what she might reveal if provoked over dinner. She was adjusting to the view that what had happened was not her fault and that she had no reason to be ashamed for what Dean had done to her. Hurt yes, absolutely, but ashamed, no, she should never feel ashamed. She was a strong and capable woman worthy of love and deserving of happiness. That was her mantra to tell herself when the doubt began to creep in. She and Jess hadn't spoken much yet about their respective sessions but they could both sense the change within each other and the slight shift in their relationship, as if the doors were finally open rather than just ajar. One day they would share their stories but this was something they each needed to work on by themselves, for now.

Jess sure looked the part as they stood waiting for someone to answer the door. He wore a dark blue dress shirt under the same dark suit he'd worn to his uncle's wedding. He'd decided against a tie, he didn't want to look like he was trying too hard, but he had polished his shoes. Rory smiled as she recalled the sight of him sat at the kitchen table, shoe in one hand, brush in the other. He showed his love for her in so many unspoken ways. It made her wonder how many she'd missed before she'd understood him enough to recognise them. Rory had settled on a dress she'd borrowed from her mother's maternity collection, pairing it with a cardigan and boots to suit the cold weather.

Emily smiled as Rory and Jess were escorted into the front room. She hated to admit it but they did make a striking couple and would no doubt produce a stunning child.

She rose to kiss Rory on the cheek and offer her hand to Jess, "we are so glad you could make it, and on such short notice too. I had worried when we hadn't heard from you that you must be terribly busy. How lucky we were that you had no plans on a Friday night. Isn't that right Richard?"

"Oh, yes, quite right Emily. They say fortune favours the bold but abandons the timid. How lucky we are that you, Emily, are the former and not the latter or we might not have had any guests at all and would have been forced to enjoy our own company for a third week in a row." Richard winked at Rory as he spoke and offered his hand for Jess to shake.

"How's the new store coming along Jess?" he inquired as he fixed himself a drink from the cart.

"It's keeping a steady pace," Jess replied.

"Can I fix either of you a drink?" Richard offered.

"Just a club soda for me thanks Grandpa," Rory answered and Jess asked for the same.

His counsellor had been discussing with him his use of alcohol to avoid dealing with difficult or confronting situations and in light of that Jess decided tonight would likely have a better outcome if he remained sober. That wasn't to say he wouldn't have one when he got home though. He'd see what the night had in store.

The drinks portion of the evening passed by relatively painlessly. Even Emily's tone seemed to have improved after a glass of wine. They moved on to the dining room to await the first course and then the games truly began.

"So Jess," Emily started as soon as they were seated, "do you plan to go to college now to be officially qualified to edit other people's work or will you continue on as an unskilled amateur? I guess being able to call yourself an author must help people to overlook certain details of your occupation and owning a share in your own publishing house would help with that too of course." Rory stared at Emily, unable to believe what she was hearing.

"You do at least have your GED don't you?" Emily continued. "You know, Lorelai went to business school not far from here, maybe you might like to look into that."

Noticing the glances passing between Rory and Jess, Richard spoke, "I think that's quite enough questions for now Emily, let the man eat his soup before it gets cold."

Rory smiled a grateful smile, "so grandpa, did you ever finish the Steve Jobs biography?"

Richard chuckled at her question in understanding, "I did Rory and I must say I thoroughly enjoyed it, perhaps I should find my copy and encourage Emily to read it."

Jess kept his focus on his soup, smiling at Rory's reference and Richard's swift comprehension. He felt at least he still had an ally in Richard even if Emily seemed to have forgotten the purpose of this evening.

"I thought we'd try this again tonight seeing as you left before we ate last time," Emily directed at Jess when the main course of roast was served. Jess didn't understand why but he understood her game, she was trying to make him look bad in front of Rory, proving some kind of point to herself.

He was determined not to fall into her trap but two could play at this game, "why thank you Emily, that was very thoughtful of you. You have a good memory. I never did get to explain how I came to have that black eye that night. I'm sure you've heard the story before Richard?" Jess looked at Rory's grandfather, encouraged by the humour in his eyes.

"Well, my memory has never been as reliable as Emily's so I'd be happy to hear it again," Richard encouraged him. It was Rory's turn to stay quiet this time. She wasn't sure where Jess was going with this but at least Grandpa seemed to be on his side.

Jess began to retell his side of that disastrous day, "...and then out of nowhere, this swan beaked me..."

"Well that is the most preposterous story I have ever heard and I will not sit hear and listen to you mock me in my own house young man," Emily cut him off mid story.

"But it's the truth, I swear!" Jess replied, this time unable to keep the barb from his own voice.

Rory stood from her chair as if moved by an invisible string.

"That's enough!" she shouted, her voice silencing the room.

"Yes, thank you Rory, that is quite..." Emily began but Rory cut her off.

"I was talking to you Grandma! I heard it in your tone the moment you greeted us but I ignored it. Then you drill Jess over soup and now this? This dinner was your idea, we are here at your invitation and yet you're doing your best to make us feel unwelcome. For the record Jess does have his GED but what of it? He has a brilliant mind and has put it to good use creating something incredible. I'm sure you've been conjuring your own list of comparisons and in your version Logan is the clear winner no doubt. I'll tell you a few things to add to your list and then you can reassess the tally. Did you know when I stole that yacht and dropped out of Yale, Logan and all his friends threw me a party? Oh yeah, just imagine it, a room full of people, convict costumes and everything, drinking to my downfall. Now Jess, on the other hand, he gets the credit for getting me to wake up to myself and get myself back on track, back to mum, back to Yale, back to all the things I loved but had been blinkered from because Mitchum Huntzberger had told me I wasn't good enough. If Jess hadn't shown up when he did with the incredible book that he wrote, I don't know where I would be right now. He knows me better than anyone and he was the one who sat up and took notice and called me out on not being myself. Maybe you should take that into consideration next time you're planning a roast." Rory finished her speech and left the room.

Emily sat in silence as she watched her granddaughter leave the room. Richard continued to eat his dinner. Jess excused himself and followed after Rory. He checked Richard's study first but found it empty. She wasn't in the downstairs bathroom either. He hadn't heard the door so he knew she couldn't have left. Remembering back to the last time he'd been in this house with Rory he climbed the stairs to her mother's childhood bedroom. She didn't answer when he knocked but he knew she was in there. He entered the room but Rory was nowhere to be seen.

"Is that you Jess?" her voice carried through the open window.

"I'm here Rory," Jess assured her as he stepped out onto the balcony beside her. He could see she'd been crying but suspected they'd been angry tears not sad ones.

"What are we doing here Jess? How did I get roped into this place once more?" Jess held her in his arms as she continued, "you know, as a kid, I thought this place was magic but my mother had felt like Rapunzel, trapped in her ivory tower. I couldn't understand it then but that night when you came back, when you took those blinders off, that's when I understood."

They both stood in silence as the cold night air wrapped itself around them making Rory shiver and huddle closer to Jess for warmth.

"What if you hadn't come to find me that night Jess? What would my life be now?" she asked, her voice suddenly sounding exhausted.

"I would have always come back to you Rory. This bond between us, this tether, you're stuck with me. I never was able to keep away for long, there was always something to draw me back to you."

A loud knock at the door broke the spell and Jess helped Rory back into the room from the balcony before opening the door to find Richard standing there.

"Shall we try again? Third time's a charm, or so they say. We wouldn't want a delicious tiramisu to go to waste now would we?" Richard held out his arm and Rory looped her hand through it, allowing him to escort her back to the dining room with Jess following right behind.

Emily was still as they'd left her. Her eyes looked tired as if she had fought a long battle and lost. Jess wondered what words might have passed between these two while he and Rory had been gone. The tiramisu was served and they ate in uncomfortable silence. Rory glancing at Jess, Richard at Emily, it was undeniably awkward. When the dessert plates had been cleared away Jess made to excuse himself and Rory to leave but Emily cut him off, this time pleading rather than provoking.

"This evening has not gone at all as I had hoped. Could we please just go back into the sitting room, there's something I'd like to show you both."

Jess looked at Rory who shrugged her shoulders slightly then nodded.

"Okay then," he agreed and they all rose from the table and followed Emily into the room where this odd evening had begun.

Once they were all seated Emily excused herself, returning a few moments later with a rather large folder.

"This is for you Rory," she passed the folder to her granddaughter. "I wasn't sure if you'd prefer satin or lace but I've put some ideas in there that would work with either."

Rory flipped through the pages confused over this gesture - was this Emily's way of offering her approval? Suddenly feeling incredibly tired Rory closed the book in her lap.

"Thank you Grandma. There's so much to look at here but it's been a long day, maybe we could go through it together some other time?"

Emily smiled with relief.

"Of course Rory, I'll look forward to it. Now Jess, how about you get this girl of ours home, she's had a long day."

Jess nodded in agreement not trusting himself to speak, afraid a scoffing sound would erupt from his mouth and hinder their escape. Richard and Emily walked them out, Richard shaking Jess's hand and encouraging him to come around anytime he felt like borrowing a book. Emily kissed Rory on the cheek promising to call her to arrange a time for them to go over their own book. As Jess drove through the gates and out onto the street Rory let a huge sigh escape her lungs.

"Let's get you home to bed," Jess rested his hand on hers.

"Yes, bed sounds good but first, please tell me we can get some food. Soup and tiramisu is just not enough when you're eating for two."


	37. Chapter 37

**Chapter 37**

**Satin or Lace?**

The next morning Rory and Jess stayed in bed, exhausted from the events of the evening before. "The thing is, if you were to ask me if I thought the evening had gone well, I wouldn't even know how to answer that! I mean where would you begin your analysis? I'm so confused!" Rory buried her head in her hands, shaking it in frustration.

Jess stayed silent beside her, asking himself the exact same questions. He didn't have an opinion either way as to what answers he was hoping would be the right ones. After last night he was balanced on the fence trying to evaluate if there was anything to actually gain by being in Emily Gilmore's good books. He and Rory were grown ups and could live their own lives how they choose. Rory was the reason he had stayed civil despite Emily's poorly veiled barbs. The counselling sessions he'd been attending had been surprisingly insightful so far and he actually felt like he was making progress, starting to see things from a different perspective. The old Jess would've stormed out before dinner even made it to the table but this new version of himself recognised that every word out of Emily's mouth had far more to do with her and her own insecurities than anything he could ever have done.

Jess rolled onto his side to pull Rory into him, trying to stop her from driving herself crazy with overanalysing. "There is one thing Emily mentioned that I do think maybe we should discuss," he admitted. "What exactly might that be?" she asked. "Satin or lace Rory, what'll it be?" Jess laughed when he saw the shocked look on her face but he was only half joking, in fact, he thought they should probably have some kind of discussion about their wedding. "That ring isn't a prop you know," he teased her. "I just...I guess...I thought..." Rory couldn't even construct a sentence, so shocked was she by this unexpected conversation. Rory suddenly jumped out of bed and was half buried underneath it, surrounded by the pillows she'd discarded in her hurry to get into bed the night before. "Hey, don't run away Ror! Did I say something wrong?" Jess asked, concerned at her reaction to his change of topic. Rory came back to sit beside him on the bed, a sheepish look on her face. In her hands she held a folder of her own, only half the size of the volume Emily had shown them last night. She passed it to him now. "I have been thinking about it Jess," she admitted in a shy voice, a voice that took him back in time to the night after their first dinner at the Gilmore's.

Jess opened the folder and began to sift through magazine clippings and notebook pages and even a sample piece of paper and coordinating envelope. "Huh. I'm guessing we're going with a blue and white theme then," his voice was lightly mocking but he felt a strange feeling of reassurance settling over him as he looked through the rest of Rory's collection. She really did want to marry him. This wasn't just about a baby. This wasn't about running away from Dean. Rory wanted to be his wife. Rory smiled as she watched Jess examining the bits and pieces she'd been collecting and storing away in her folder. "I thought blue and white would be perfect for a spring wedding on the bridge," she confessed. "This spring?" Jess asked. "Well, no it doesn't have to be this Spring, I mean if you think that's too soon, if you want to wait until, well, until this is gone, or even longer," Rory gestured to her baby bump. "Hey, calm down! For the record, if I believed for a second you wouldn't regret it, I'd take us to Atlantic City and marry you today. To be honest, I like the idea of marrying you on the bridge back in Stars Hollow. And yes, a Spring wedding sounds nice. This Spring? Well, why not?" Jess finished his spiel to find Rory staring at him, a shocked look on her face. He kissed her until she smiled. "It'll be Spring next month you do realise?" she asked him. "You're due mid May so how about early April? We can even try and squeeze in a little honeymoon before we become the three of us," he suggested. Rory suspected Jess was keeping his own folder of plans tucked away under the bed. "Is there something you're not telling me?" she probed. "I have no idea what you're talking about!" he replied, suddenly evasive. "It just sounds suspiciously like you've been giving this a bit of thought yourself!" she teased. "Just in passing," he admitted before kissing her again, silencing her from wedding talk for the time being.

Rory and Jess spent the entire day talking and planning and making a list for the wedding, only leaving the bedroom for snacks and a leisurely shower. The first priorities would be getting a marriage licence and convincing Taylor to let them use the bridge. Jess deferred the task of talking to Taylor to Rory, not liking the odds if it was left up to him. He would take care of the licence and also find them a minister. Rory could make the invites by hand as they planned on only a dozen guests. Rory would also ask Sookie to make their cake and Jess would see if Luke would be willing to close the diner for the afternoon for a reception. Rory hoped her mum would agree to make her dress but had a backup in mind. Considering her mum had a newborn's needs to tend to, Rory wasn't sure she'd have the time but didn't want to upset her by excluding her, especially when everything else was planned. They were due for a visit to the Hollow and after a quick phone call to her mum Rory had booked them in for baby cuddles over lunch the next day. They could run their ideas by Lorelai and Luke then.

"I think we should spend every day in bed together, look how much we got done!" Rory pointed out, examining their to-do list one last time as she got ready for sleep that night. "I think we neglected to put something very important on that list," Jess replied, watching her as she stood before the mirror, brushing her hair. "I didn't bother adding it because we already did that this morning," Rory said matter-of-factly as she placed her brush down and switched off the light before hopping into bed beside him. "Well in that case, goodnight," Jess rolled over to turn out his lamp, then settled back on his pillow, feigning sleep. He tried not to smile as he felt two dainty hands creeping their way over the muscles of his back but when they reached his waist he gave in, turning over to face his future wife and take his turn to feel her skin beneath his fingers. "I guess it wouldn't hurt to practice this a little more before our wedding night," he conceded. "As if we ever needed practice when it came to this," Rory whispered in his ear before leaving a trail of kisses down his neck to his collarbone. "Yeah, whatever else happens, at least we know this part works, right?" Jess smiled as he found her lips in the dark and he felt her smiling back at him.


	38. Chapter 38

**Chapter 38**

**F for Forgiveness**

The next day Rory and Jess went to Stars Hollow to visit William, and catch up with Luke and Lorelai too. They'd been blessed with a healthy, happy and seemingly quiet baby, "you're sure he's a Gilmore?" Jess asked after they'd been there for half an hour and still the baby had yet to make a sound. "Do you need me to explain the birds and the bees to you Jess? Then again, might be a bit late for that!" Lorelai teased, gesturing at Rory's blooming belly. "He clearly takes after his father," she continued, "and his cousin. We didn't call you monosyllabic boy for nothing you know. I'm still amazed you knew enough words to write an entire book." "Technically it's only a short novel. I did run out eventually." Rory's face lit up watching this exchange between her mother and Jess. Maybe there was hope for her grandmother yet.

They swapped stories over lunch, Lorelai and Luke's revolving around all things baby, Rory filling them in on the Friday night dinner disaster. Lorelai was sadly not surprised but assured them that the folder was a good sign, "remember pudding?" she asked Rory. "Yes I do but do you remember pudding? I don't recall things going too well after that myself." Rory was confused but let her mother explain, there was usually some logic to be found in her mother's random statements after all. "Well, yes, immediately after that things did get pretty ugly but then we had that big fight and suddenly it was like the streets after a massive storm and everything was washed clean and we started again." she clarified. "So, explain this then, was that the storm or was that the pudding before the storm because let me tell you, it was pretty ugly and if there's worse still to come I might need Luke to come round, help me baton down the hatches." Jess had been silently following the conversation up until this point, letting Rory take the lead in explaining what had happened with Emily. "Honestly Jess, I don't know. We might be in uncharted territory here." "Maybe I should see if Russell Crowe is available to help us steer through this one then," Jess mocked but Lorelai noticed the edge to his voice. Must've been some dinner, she thought to herself.

"Shall we tell them what we did yesterday?" Rory asked Jess, keen to change the subject. "I'm not so sure they want to hear about that," Jess teased, his momentary bad mood lifting as he watched the blush rise up his fiancés neck. "You know what I meant!" Rory kicked him under the table. Still laughing Jess ran his foot up the side of her leg in retaliation. "Would you like us to leave you two alone?" Lorelai asked, looking from one to the other as they bickered. "We planned the wedding yesterday," Rory explained. "You planned 'the' wedding?! You mean the entire thing? In one day?" Lorelai asked in amazement. "Well, we still have to do the actual work to make it all happen but yes, we made a plan. April 3rd, 2pm at the bridge. We were hoping we might be able to have a small reception at the diner afterwards Luke. We're only inviting a dozen people, we both want to keep it small." Rory continued to explain about the invitations, the cake, the licence and her own task of getting permission from Taylor to use the bridge and the seemingly impossible job of keeping the entire event a secret to prevent it turning into a town fiasco. "So, what do you think?" Rory finished and looked at her mother waiting for her approval. "Wow, you really have thought of everything! It all sounds, well, it all sounds so you!" she looked at them both. Yes a small, no fuss wedding was exactly right. She felt a little stab of disappointment at not getting to play a part in her daughter's big day but she would get to be there to witness it and that would be special enough. "There was one thing I wanted to ask you mum, but I know how busy you must be with William so I only want you to say yes if you really want to and if you think you can manage it because I will understand if you can't. I wondered if you might be able to make my dress for me?" With tears in her eyes Lorelai granted her daughter's only wish of her "nothing would make me happier."

With lunch over, Luke returned to the diner and the girls, having decided to watch "Muriel's Wedding", settled themselves in front of the television. "Um Rory, do you mind if I go out for a while? I won't be long, there's just something I need to do?" Jess asked as the movie began. "Sure, take as long as you need, we'll no doubt still be sitting right here 90 minutes from now anyway," Rory replied. "Is everything okay?" "I just need to go see Liz," Jess explained. Rory kissed him before letting him go, "Tell her I said hi."

Sesame Street was playing on a DVD in the background when Jess sat down at the kitchen table with Liz. "She seems a happy kid," Jess nodded toward the lounge where Doula was sitting, captivated by the colourful characters on the screen. "She sure is. She's getting a little old for that show but it was always her favourite so who am I to tell her she can't watch it right?" Jess just nodded in response, still trying to find the right words to say now that he had made it this far.

"Are you sure I can't get you anything? A cup of tea? A soda? There might be some in the back of the fridge, TJ likes to sneak them into the shopping cart every now and then. I tell you, life's never dull with him in it!" Liz was already placing the cold drink in front of Jess before he had any chance to respond. "I'm fine, honestly. Please will you just sit down. There's something I came here to say. Something I need to say. Please just sit down and let me say it." Liz did as he asked, taking her own seat at the table, waiting for her son to speak.

"First of all, I have some news to share but that's only part of why I'm here so let me finish before you go pouring the sparkling cider," he warned her, his tone light. "Rory and I are getting married." Liz jumped from her seat, running around the table to hug her boy, "oh Jess! Rory? Your Rory? After all these years. I saw it you know, when you came back here for my wedding, I saw it in your eyes when Lorelai was fixing my broken dress. You are the Luke to her Lorelai. You just had to get past the space time continuum like they did but look at you all now. You made it back to each other. My baby boy is getting married!" Liz ruffled his hair before returning to her seat with a huge grin on her face. When he'd recovered from the shock of hearing the words "space time continuum" coming out of his mother's mouth, Jess reminded her there was still more to share. "We're also expecting a baby, in May." "Oh wow! I had heard a rumour that Rory was pregnant but I didn't realise it was yours!" Liz began to put the pieces together. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner," Jess was sincere with his words, somehow he'd overlooked telling her and stupidly hadn't considered the Stars Hollow gossip mill might have beaten him to it. "So a family man hey Jess? I think it'll suit you. Look how well it's worked out for Luke! You really have a lot of him in you, you know. You're more like Luke than you're own father in a lot of ways," Liz assured him.

"Speaking of Jimmy, that's kinda the main reason I came here. The thing is, I've been carrying a pretty massive chip on my shoulder for about 20 years now, give or take. With this baby on the way I figured it was time I dealt with a few things, sins of the father and all that. I don't want to be like him. I've been seeing a counsellor for a couple of weeks now. It's brought up a lot of stuff I thought I'd buried. You and I, we haven't ever had a good relationship have we? Maybe when I was little but then too much changed too fast and everything got out of control. I couldn't protect you so I shut myself off, trying to protect myself. I've spent a lot of years blaming you for my less than ideal childhood. I hated you for sending me here, to this town, to Luke. What I've come to realise is that none of this is your fault. You didn't ask Jimmy to leave, he just did. You didn't ask for one shitty boyfriend after the other traipsing in and out of our lives, that too just happened. You were trapped in a cycle you couldn't get out of and I was too young to know how to help you. Your decision to send me here to Luke, that was the biggest gift anyone could've given me. I recognise that now. I guess what I'm trying to say is thank you."

Liz looked across at her son as she wiped tears from her face. She knew she'd screwed up in the past and there had been too many promises made and broken. She had her own regrets that she'd finally learnt to live with over the last few years. She was proud of all that she had now - her TJ and Doula and this house, even her own jewellery business - but she could never shake the burden of truth that she had let Jess down too many times to count. Hearing those words from his mouth, and the one unspoken word that hung between them in the air - forgiveness - this was the moment she'd been waiting for. If Jess could forgive her then maybe she could finally forgive herself.

Jess had said all he'd come to say and was ready to get back to Rory. He could hear Doula's show coming to an end and rose to leave as he heard the words "...brought to you by the letter F..." carrying through from the other room. "Huh, seems I picked the right day to visit," Jess noted. Liz walked around the table, pulling her son into a semi awkward embrace. "Maybe we can try out another F word too," Liz suggested. Jess raised a concerned eyebrow at her waiting for her to elaborate. "I realise you don't need your mum anymore, not that you ever really did, but I'd really like it if we could be friends." Jess hugged her this time, considering her words, "I think we might be able to manage that." He was about to step out the door when he remembered one last thing he'd forgotten to mention, "keep April 3rd free, Rory will send you an invite soon. I'd really like you to come to my wedding mum." Liz beamed at Jess, "I wouldn't miss it for the world!" This was a promise they both believed she would keep.


	39. Chapter 39

**Chapter 39**

**A Hen and A Buck**

"Remind me again why you're leaving me for the entire weekend," Rory rolled over, the sheet wrapping around her as she snuggled into Jess's chest. A week from now he would be her husband. She smiled at the thought.

"As if you'll even have time to miss me."

Rory nodded in agreement, "Yes, I guess you're right."

Jess punished her teasing tone but tickling her until she begged him to stop.

"Remind me who I have to blame for taking you away to New York?"

"Chris and Matt just wanted to throw me a little Bachelor party, should I have said no?" Jess asked. "For the record, I would happily stay right here in bed with you for the entire weekend but I'm not so sure you'd be happy to cancel your own plans."

Rory had been looking forward to spending the weekend back in Stars Hollow with her mum and Sookie and Lane.

"Well, when you put it that way, do you need any help packing?" She laughed at the look of mock hurt that twisted her fiancés beautiful face then kissed him one last time before untangling herself from the sheets and heading to take a shower. She was already packed ready to go and had a lunch date planned with her mum at the Dragonfly so she didn't need to rush. Jess came to join her in the shower although there wasn't much space these days with her ever expanding baby bump.

Time had been moving along so swiftly and now with the wedding just a week away and the baby due in about 6 weeks Rory didn't want to let go of the time they had left, just the two of them. Having a baby was going to change them so much, lazy weekends in bed just one of a number of things they'd have to let go of, for a while anyway. Of course, there was also so much to gain too and she longed to see Jess as he moulded himself into the role of father. She'd already seen him evolve so much over the last 8 years, especially in these last 7 months. The counselling sessions had really helped them both and she was so glad they'd decided to go. She was so proud of Jess for forgiving Liz and letting her back into his life. His true measure as a man had finally been revealed and she would be so proud to call Jess her husband.

Jess knew the shower wasn't really big enough to share at the moment but he couldn't help himself, he just wanted to be close to this amazing creature who was crazy enough to love him and want to be his wife. Marriage and babies were suddenly such happy concepts in his mind. His heart had never felt so full. He'd been writing again too, a brand new idea had been developing in his head for a few weeks now and he was making fast progress with it, so far. Things would definitely change once the baby arrives and he was trying to make as much progress with it now while the thoughts were fresh and flowing. As much as he didn't want to leave Rory, he was looking forward to spending the weekend in New York with Chris and Matt. While he was aware he'd never told them before, he did appreciate and value their friendship. He'd never really been one to have friends. Rory was the first real friend he'd ever had if he was honest. The night she'd come to see him in Truncheon then left him standing there, her kiss still fresh on his lips, the pain still sharp in his chest, it was Matt and Chris who'd stood by him, making sure he got home safe when he wrote himself off at a bar, making sure he kept his head in the game - the writing game that is. They knew better than to try and meddle with his love life. When he'd told them Rory was back in his life they acted like overprotective brothers. The memory brought a smile to his face. Yes, he had people now. The counsellor had warned him he'd begin to see things he'd been too congested to notice before. He was in fact surrounded by people who loved and cared for him and had his back. It was a wonderful revelation.

Rory noticed Jess's smile as she washed the last of the conditioner from her hair, "what's that smile for?"

"I was just thinking about Matt and Chris," Jess admitted.

"While you're in the shower with me you're thinking about your business partners?" Rory asked more amused than insulted.

Jess kissed her before explaining.

"I was just thinking about something my counsellor said, about things revealing themselves in a different light now that I can look at them without the massive chip I used to lug around on my shoulder blocking my view. I can see now that I have two great friends in Chris and Matt, a wonderful family in Luke and Lorelai and the potential for a better relationship with Liz. I can also see how incredibly lucky I am to have such a strong, intelligent, witty not to mention stunning woman, growing my child inside her, willing to marry me. I can also see that this counselling stuff has apparently turned me into a sap but what the hell. I love you Rory."

Rory wrapped her arms around him, hugging him to her in the tiny cubicle.

"I love you too Jess." They could feel the baby kicking between them and laughed as they broke contact and Jess stepped out of the shower.

"If you ever repeat this conversation to anyone I may have to lock you in the house for the rest of your days," Jess warned her as he dried off his hair then wrapped his towel around his waist.

"You might want to consider a less appealing threat than that Jess," Rory smiled. "How about a new house rule? What happens in the shower stays in the shower?" she suggested. Jess shook his head at Rory before smiling and nodding his head in agreement.

While Jess packed his bag, Rory sat on the bed watching him.

"Promise me you'll be careful and you'll come back to me in one piece."

"Of course I will," Jess said, his focus still on his belongings. When he eventually looked at her face he saw a dark shadow suddenly there. "Hey, Ror, whatever you're thinking about or worrying over, I promise you I will be back here with you safe and sound tomorrow night. How about we order Indian food and watch Almost Famous, for old times sake?"

"Sounds good Jess, thanks," Rory agreed, her face brightening a little.

"Is there something else Rory? You can tell me you know."

"I guess I was just thinking about my own counselling sessions and going back to Stars Hollow on my own, without you. That house has memories of him all through it. It's supposed to be a happy time I know. I'm just afraid how I'll cope without you there to hold my hand. It's probably my hormones talking too." she explained.

"Rory, I'm not going to lie and tell you it'll be easy because I can't know that it will be any more than you can know that it won't be. Why don't you just put Dean out of your mind and focus on Lorelai and Lane and Sookie, who I know are going to be thrilled to see you, and if you need a hand to hold, well there's 6 available there, I'm sure they'd gladly offer them if you asked."

Jess came to sit beside Rory on the bed, pulling her into his arms.

"You can call me anytime and if you really want me there, I will get there. Okay? I have a suspicion though that you'll be having too good of a time stuffing yourself with every sugar stuff known to man and catching up with your friends to even remember to take your phone out of your purse."

"Thankyou Jess. Are you all packed now?" Jess nodded, getting up to grab his wallet from the bedside table and put it in his pocket with his phone and keys. "Time to go then." Rory grabbed her own bag and boldly led the way out of their apartment and then the front door to the street. Jess made sure the "closed for the weekend sign" he'd made the day before was visible in the door before locking up. He escorted Rory to her car, kissing her through the window then standing back to wave her goodbye as she drove off towards Stars Hollow then he got into his own car and began driving towards New York City.


	40. Chapter 40

**Chapter 40**

**New York State of Mind**

Arriving in the city this time was different to any other time he'd returned here. This whole counselling thing has sure changed him. He wondered what Matt and Chris might see, if they'd notice any difference. Suddenly feeling like a girl worried over losing her virginity Jess shook his head, laughing at himself in the silence of this car. He'd turned the radio off 30 miles back, suddenly sick of the noise. Was that really what qualified as music today?

He parked near Chris's apartment where he'd be crashing for the night. He left his bag in the car then found the nearest subway, taking the train to Trunchoen NY's nearest stop then walking the rest of the way. Chris saw him as he entered and came straight over to chase his hand.

"Jess! Good to see you man. Ready for a big night?"

"Good to see you too Chris. Depends on your definition of big. If you're asking if I'm happy to hang at that great jazz bar we went to that time in the Village until closing, then yeah, I'm up for that. No dodgy night clubs, strip joints, basically anywhere with flashing lights and repetitive beats is out." Jess replied.

"I'll let you explain that to Matt yourself when he gets here but I'm cool with that, it's your big night after all. Man, I still can't believe you're getting married! I'd have lost big time if I'd been a betting man. Hope all this happiness doesn't affect your writing too much, we're counting on you for another book this year." said Chris.

"You'll be pleased to know I'm already working on something. It's coming together pretty well right now, just trying to get what I can done before the baby comes." Jess assured him.

"Oh yeah! I kinda forgot about the baby." Chris admitted. "How much longer to go?"

"About 6 weeks."

"Jess Mariano - married daddy - how the fans will weep when they read this in your next bio." Chris laughed but he was happy for his friend. He hadn't seen him so relaxed in all the time he'd known him. Who could've guessed that the same girl who'd left him in a crumpled mess 4 years ago would be the very same one to breathe him back to life.

"Matt will be here soon, why don't you take a look around, grab a coffee, read, whatever." Jess nodded in agreement and did exactly as his friend had suggested.

It was getting close to closing time when Matt eventually arrived, making apologies about not being able to get away from the store but Jess suspected it was more likely Amanda he was having trouble getting away from.

"Good to see you Matt, glad you could make it. Hope the traffic wasn't too bad." Matt did a double take at Jess, yep same smirk, same messed up hair and pencil behind his ear.

"So you've decided you can speak the words as well as write them my friend?" he asked observing the change in him. He'd lost his edge but in a good way. If this was what love could do for a guy like Jess maybe it wasn't such a bad thing. The whole married with a kid thing wasn't something he was ready for anytime soon but maybe one day, maybe with Amanda. Yeah, that could be a pretty cool event in his life.

"So, I was thinking of this club I went to a few times before I moved back to Philly," Matt began. Chris came to join them, shaking Matt's hand in greeting before sharing with him the Jess approved version of the nights plans.

"Okay, well I guess we can do that." Matt conceded. "They had that great pizza place just around the corner, we could grab a few slices there first. Are you all good to go here? I parked around the corner seeing I was running so late but that means I can drive us all back to your apartment and leave the car there."

"Sounds like a plan," Jess returned the books he'd been reading to the shelf. "I'm just going to make a quick call, I'll wait out the front for you."

When Rory didn't answer her phone after 2 attempts to call, Jess smiled and sent her a quick text to say "_told you so xx_" then leant back against the front wall of the store waiting for Matt and Chris to finish up inside. The evening began as an impromptu business meeting over pizza where they once again discussed the idea of opening a bar. With the possibility of Rory's dad investing in the business it seemed a viable option and they agreed here in New York might be a good place to trial it before potentially adding one in Philly too.

"Can we call it..." Chris and Jess both cut Matt off.

"We we not, nor will we ever, call our bar Cedar Bar Redux," Chris went first while Jess nodded in agreement.

"I was actually going to suggest we name it after one of its founding members first books." Matt finished.

"You want to call the bar "the Subsect"?" Jess couldn't have been more surprised.

"Hey, that's a great idea Matt, unique and uniquely ours, well yours really Jess but definitely Truncheon. Would you let us use it or will we have to sell our shares in the company for the right?" Chris asked.

"Hey, if you guys think it's a good choice then it's ours, not mine. As long as you don't expect me to pose for any posters or let you put my face on a t-shirt I reckon we could have a deal."

They finished their pizza and headed off in the direction of the bar.

"Hey, guys, thanks." Jess spoke as they walked.

"No need to thank us, it's a good name and the bar will be better for having it," Matt assured him.

"I wasn't talking about the bar. That's great too but I meant thanks, in general. Thanks for watching out for me and being there for me. Thanks for trusting my book enough to publish it in the first place and for welcoming me into the fold that is now Truncheon. We built that! I never thought I'd ever be able to be a part of anything like this. You know me well enough to know I don't have a lot of people in my life but I do count you both as my friends." Jess ran out of words so he stopped talking and just kept walking.

Matt and Chris exchanged bemused glances before Chris spoke, "we're happy for you Jess. We may not have been on board at first after what happened last time when Rory left you but I think we get it now. You've changed man, but in the best possible way."

"First round's on me," Matt announced as they reached the bar, "what'll it be?"

Several hours of random conversation influenced by several jugs of beer later, the three friends stumbled out of the bar and hailed a taxi back to Chris's place. Matt crashed in his old room while Jess took the couch. It was 2:47am when Jess settled himself for bed and looked at his phone to find that Rory had replied to his earlier text "_I guess you do know me better than anyone then don't you? xx_". He quickly fell asleep with a smile on his face.

When Rory called him the next day he had already said his goodbyes to Matt and Chris and was more or less ready to head back to Hartford. He'd grabbed a coffee and a bagel and was sitting reading the Times looking out across the Hudson River.

"How very Billy Joel of you," Rory teased.

"Well, what can I say, I guess I woke up in a New York state of mind. I wish I'd woken up next to you but this is a pretty good backup." Jess wished she were here beside him, he'd even let her have first choice of the paper sections.

"So what you mean to say is you love me more than the most amazing city in the entire world?"

"Yes Rory, that is exactly what I was trying to say." "

Hey Jess?"

"Yes Rory?"

"I missed you. Hurry home."

They ended the call and Jess folded his paper and threw his empty coffee cup in the trash as he headed back to where he'd left his car. In another life he and Rory could have had an exciting life here in New York. He hoped she would never regret the things she'd missed. She never did get to be an overseas corespondent. He didn't want her to resent him for that one day. Maybe they could move here when their child was older. With a branch and a potential bar Jess would always have a job option in the city and with Rory's impressive portfolio she'd be sure to get a job at one of the papers, maybe even the Times. As long as he had Rory and their baby he would be happy, he just hoped he could be enough for her in return.


	41. Chapter 41

**Chapter 41**

**Girls Night In**

Lorelai was sitting on the floor pinning the hem of Rory's dress when Lane arrived. She let herself in the front door and found them in the lounge.

"Oh Rory! You look incredible! You've done a a amazing job Lorelai."

"Thanks Lane! It was a little easier to make than your dress - no coffee stains to contend with for a start. Rory refused to let me make pants for hers which was a major disappointment but all in all I'm pretty happy with how it's turned out." Lorelai finished placing the pins and rose from the floor, "time for a twirl daughter of mine!"

Rory obliged her, feeling 16 again, remembering twirling in her blue dress for the dance at Chilton. Suddenly the entire room began to swim before her eyes and she grabbed for the armchair to keep herself from falling. With tears in her eyes Rory lowered herself into the chair.

"Oh hun, are you okay? I wasn't even thinking about the baby, how stupid of me. Lane, can you please get Rory some water?" Lorelai pulled a footstool over lifting Rory's feet up onto it. "Are you okay?" she repeated, noticing the tears in her daughter's eyes.

"I was thinking about the blue dress you made me," Rory admitted. Lorelai put two and two together and came up with Dean.

"Oh Rory, has something else happened?" Lorelai asked just as Lane returned with her water. Rory turned to thank Lane then caught Lorelai's eye before shaking her head slightly. "How about you go get out of that dress and I'll bring the food in and get the first movie ready. Speaking of food, I wonder what's keeping Sookie?"

As if on cue all three heads whipped around towards the door as they heard a crashing sound followed by some fussing. Lorelai opened the door to see a dozen Tupperware containers brightening up the porch with their rainbow colours.

"At least the lids stayed on!" she observed as she helped her friend up from where she'd tripped on the front step. They gathered the containers and went in to the lounge where Lane was sitting looking through the DVDs Lorelai had chosen for the evening.

Rory joined them a few minutes later having changed into sweats.

"Oh look at you Rory with your itty bitty baby bump! How are you still so tiny?" Sookie asked as she ran her hands over Rory's shirt as if trying to find some hidden compartment where the rest of her bump was hiding.

"I know right? It's so unfair!" Lane chimed in.

"For the record I feel enormous!" Rory insisted. "There's not even room for two in our shower anymore!" Rory blushed bright scarlet when she realised what she'd just said.

"Speaking of steamy shower scenes, shall we watch "The Specialist" first or should we keep them in order?" Lorelai pointed to the DVDs.

"I'm trying to understand your theme here Lorelai but I must admit I'm stumped," Lane looked at Lorelai waiting to be enlightened.

"Well, first we have "Rebel Without a Cause" otherwise known as Jess the early years. Next would be "Saturday Night Fever" where Jess begins to realise his true potential in life and then finally, after some more time and personal growth we have "The Specialist" where he realises he will put everything on the line for the woman he loves." Lorelai took a little bow as she finished her speil.

"Yeah, you see, now it makes total sense! I vote we start at the beginning," Lane enthused.

"Just give me a few minutes to sort this food out," Sookie gestured to where the boxes were stacked on the coffee table. Lorelai knew her friend well enough not to argue and Lane helped her to the kitchen with the containers and followed orders as to how to arrange everything on the platters Lorelai had left out on the table in anticipation.

While Lane and Sookie organised the snacks Lorelai went back to Rory's side, sitting on the footstool at her feet.

"So sweets, what was that really about before?"

Rory took a deep breath and sighed it out, "I guess I was just worrying about memories you know? I was thinking about it this morning and then I talked to Jess about it and he made me feel so much better that I forgot all about it and then the dress and the twirl and, well, it came back. This whole house has memories of him. It's like he's haunting every room."

"Yeah, but hun, don't forget that some of those, most of those actually, were good memories. It doesn't change what he did to you but maybe try and think of them as two separate people. The memories that live in this house are of that sweet, dopey, ridiculously tall boy who loved you so much he built you a car. That's a guy that's worth remembering. It's the other guy, the one who cheated on his wife and then hurt you that you need to forget."

"Two different people hey?" Rory thought about it for a second. "I think I'll try and do that next time mum, thanks. There is something else I didn't tell you. He wrote me a letter. He apologised and promised to stay away and never contact me again. I shredded it into confetti. Jess and I talked afterwards and we both started seeing a counsellor, we've been going since the end of January. It's helping a lot. Both of us. It's really helping both of us."

Lorelai stood from the stool and threw her arms around her daughter. With tears in her eyes she kissed her and told her how proud she was, "not just of you but of Jess too. I tell you, that baby may not have had the best timing in the world but it sure is lucky to have chosen you and Jess to be its parents. You deserve happiness Rory and I know that you are going to have that with Jess. I know I joke and tease and, I admit, I even once upon a time genuinely hated the guy but, I will be so proud to call him my son in law."

"Thanks mum," Rory whispered as more tears filled her eyes only they were happy tears this time.

Lorelai got up to put the first disc in the player as Lane and Sookie arrived with two trays laden with brownies, cookies, cupcakes, mini doughnuts, muffin tops, pastries and a variety of candy bars. As they got comfortable and the movie began Rory smiled at these three important women in her life and added them to all the other blessings she'd counted that day. It was getting to be a very long list.


	42. Chapter 42

**Chapter 42**

**That's What Friends Are For**

Once Sookie had gone home and Lorelai had gone upstairs, Lane and Rory went to sit on the chair on the porch.

"I still can't believe you're getting married next week or that you're having a baby in 2 months. And Jess! You're marrying Jess! I can't believe how different he is now! I mean, don't get me wrong, he's still got the bad boy vibe going for him and he's still, well, hot! Time has been kind to one Jess Mariano!" Lane paused suddenly and Rory could see her thoughts change course.

"Rory, how is it that you are marrying Jess when you were dating Dean not so long ago. Look, tell me it's none of my business and I will never bring it up again. Just know, if you do want to talk, you can tell me anything." Rory trusted Lane was being sincere but she also had no idea what she was offering her shoulder for.

"It's complicated Lane." Rory sighed. "I don't want you to look at me differently if I tell you." she admitted.

"Is it that you cheated on Dean with Jess and then got pregnant? Because I kinda already suspected that, given the time frames involved." Lane assured her friend. Rory leant her head back against the wall behind the chair and closed her eyes.

"Rory?" Lane sounded worried now. "Is that it?" Rory opened her eyes to find Lane's filled with concern.

"Yes, that is true but that's the silver lining here, believe me. Remember how I said Dean couldn't come to my mum's wedding because he was home sick with the flu? Well, I lied. It wasn't the first lie, I'd been painting a happy picture of us for a couple of months at that point, but it was different that time. Dean...One night..."

Rory hesitated knowing she was at the point of no return. When she completed that sentence she increased the circle of people who knew by one. It wasn't a matter of trust, she knew Lane would never tell a soul. It was one more person who would know her shameful secret and who would never be able to look at her in quite the same way again. Her counsellor had been trying to reinforce with her that what happened was not her fault and she was working hard to believe it but she still had her moments of weakness when a sound would startle her and she'd find herself back there in New Haven, trapped in her own memory. She just didn't think she could keep such an important detail of her life from the person sitting beside her who had been with her through all the other big and small moments in her life. They'd always shared everything, why should this be any different? Maybe Lane might have a unique view on the situation that could help Rory to properly move on. Lane was still watching her, patiently waiting for Rory to continue.

"You know Jess released a new book last year? Well, the real trouble began when I had to review it for the Advocate and Dean came home in a mood and found me reading it. I blacked out most of it, my counsellor says I may have repressed the memory rather than actually having been unconscious at the time."

Lane covered her mouth as a gasp slipped between her lips. She nodded for Rory to continue.

"I woke up the next morning wrapped in towels on the bathroom floor with the door locked. The bruises weren't so bad the first time, most were covered by my clothes, so I went to work like it was any other day and came home that night like it was any other day. When I told him I wanted to come back alone for the wedding he didn't even argue. He could barely even look me in the eye. That's when I saw Jess. I hadn't seen him in such a long time. 4 years. The last time I'd seen him he'd kissed me and I'd walked away from him. I saw him leave the reception and go into the diner. I followed him and he took me in and kept me safe and let me stay there the night. When I woke up and saw him there the next day it was like a dream Lane. I know I shouldn't have done it but I kissed him and, well, things escalated and then I left while he was asleep and went back to New Haven to Dean." Rory stopped for a few minutes, remembering that night and the way Jess had been there for her, no questions or agenda, he'd just opened that door and let her in. Her heart swelled with love for him.

"I get the feeling there's more," Lane promoted Rory back to the story.

"Well, 3 months later after trying my best to make it work with Dean but unable to let myself trust him again I drove to Philadelphia to see Jess. Dean was in Chicago so didn't know I'd gone. I went there to sort things out, to make up for running away again the day after the wedding. Instead I fell pregnant. I thought I had stomach flu and then Dean made me go see the doctor and he told us the good news but Dean knew the dates were wrong and it couldn't be his and the second time was worse than the first. I only remember him yelling at me and he just looked so furious. I was terrified of him and then again I woke up the next day, locked in the bathroom. I had red marks around my neck and bruises around my ribs and back. I called Jess and he met me here at the bridge and took me home and has been like a guardian angel to me ever since." Rory breathed a huge sigh of relief when she reached the end. She sat back and waited to see what Lane would say.

"Oh Rory, oh wow! I don't even know what to say! I mean, I'm not speechless because clearly I'm still saying words right now but, really, wow! Of all the things I thought you might have told me right now this, this wasn't even in the top 100 possibilities of reasons why you broke up with Dean. Wow, just wow." Lane suddenly went quiet.

"Looks like the speechless thing has set in now huh?" Rory attempted to joke but there was no humour in her words. "Please say something Lane."

Her best friend sat there in silence for a few minutes digesting what Rory had just told her, remembering a time before when they had been comparing these two boys and Dean had come out on top as the reliable, dependable, would do anything for Rory, best possible option boy. Jess on the other hand had always been the cute, exciting, unreliable, bad boy. How then had it turned around in such a way? And Dean? How did he do this to Rory of all people? How? Lane finally broke her silence pulling Rory to her to hug her.

"Thank you for trusting me Rory. That can't have been easy for you to share. I don't know what to say except I love you and I'm here if you need me. Oh and Jess, well he's all kinds of awesome in my book now. Maybe we need to get him a cape. I bet he'd look good in a cape, jet black and a black mask to cover his eyes and..."

"Lane?" Rory stopped her before she got too carried away and started imagining Jess in tights "thankyou."

"Well, that's what friends are for right? In good times and bad times, I'll be on your side, forevermore," Rory smiled at her friend. She certainly was lucky to have a friend like Lane in her life. The girls sat together, arms around each other's shoulders, until Rory's bladder told her it was time to move. Lane sat waiting for her friend to return, deep in thought, still trying but failing to comprehend what she had just shared. It was just too awful. At least she had Jess now and the baby. A week from now Rory would be Jess's wife and hopefully she'd be able to put her past with Dean behind her once and for all.


	43. Chapter 43

_A/N wow! I can't believe I'm posting chapter 43 already! When I started to write this 2 1/2 weeks ago I had no idea what I was getting myself into. Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to leave reviews, I really do appreciate every single one. Those who are reading along anonymously, I thank you too for sticking it out this far. I'm not sure how much longer this story will continue. Still just taking it as it comes. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Have a lovely Sunday :) _

**Chapter 43**

**Fatherly Advice**

It was three days before the wedding and Jess woke in a sweat from a terrible dream. The details disappeared as they often do after dreams but the feeling of horror and dread remained in the goosebumps that pricked his skin. He'd lost them, that's all he knew, and it had felt like he was suffocating and then he'd woken up. Looking over to see Rory's peaceful face on the pillow beside his calmed his pulse rate marginally. He gently placed his hand over her abdomen, willing the baby to kick, smiling when he felt the tiny motion beneath his palm. He carefully got out of bed so as not to wake her and took a shower to try and wash the remainder of the dream away.

After his shower Jess went upstairs to their office to see if he could get some more work done on his book but the words wouldn't come so he gave up on that idea. No use trying to force them, he'd only end up discarding them later anyway. He went back downstairs and found himself in the spare room that was gradually looking more like the nursery it was soon to be. The cot and change table sat bare against one wall, a wooden rocking chair in the corner by the window and an empty bookcase, waiting to be filled. Jess sat in the chair, trying to imagine sitting there with his child. Suddenly the room felt too small and he needed to get out. Out of the room. Out of the apartment. Out of Hartford.

Jess left Rory a note, placing it on the pillow beside her before he left. He got in his car and drove, not stopping until he reached Luke's. He parked his car right outside, it was still early and the place was empty of customers. Luke looked up from filling the salt shakers at the sound of the bell over the door. He hid his surprise well.

"hey Jess. What can I get for you?"

"Coffee would be good." Jess walked behind the counter to grab his own cup while Luke grabbed the pot, pouring the steaming liquid into the mug. Jess took a drink then began helping Luke, getting to work on the pepper shakers.

They worked in silence for a few minutes until Luke screwed the last cap back on, "so Jess, is everything okay? I mean I'm guessing you didn't just drive all the way here from Hartford at 7 in the morning to help me fill the pepper shakers. I don't think you ever once filled the pepper shakers when you were actually employed to do so. Why the sudden need?"

"I guess...I just..." Jess began but couldn't find the words. "It's stupid. You'll think I'm stupid when I tell you."

"Jess, you're a lot of things but stupid isn't one of them. Just tell me. It can hardly be worse than the Petey the dog look explanation."

Jess looked at his uncle and shook his head, he would never live that down. He should consider himself lucky the entire town didn't know or Taylor might not have given them permission to marry at the bridge. He'd likely find some reference in the town bylaws to cite - something about posing a threat to the wildlife.

"I had a bad dream," he finally confessed.

"You really shouldn't keep watching those Saw movies Jess. You have to promise me you will never let your child see them." Luke warned him.

"It wasn't that kind of bad dream Luke. I don't even remember it really. I just know I lost them. Rory and the baby. I lost them. Next thing I know I'm awake and Rory's sound asleep beside me and the baby kicked my hand and then I left a note and ran away. Just like old times." Jess's tone turned bitter at the last sentence.

"Hey, Jess, you are nothing like the boy who ran. You've changed, you've grown up. This ain't running away, this is taking a step back. I bet you said you'd be back in your note right? Hell, the fact you even left a note in the first place is proof of your progress."

"I just don't know what I'd do if I lost them. They're my whole life now."

"Can I tell you something Jess?" Luke asked.

"As long as it's not some story about your *friend* Carl, I'm seeing an actual counsellor now so I don't need any wisdom from the pages anymore."

"Hey, don't knock the book Jess. I'm with Lorelai because of that book and I reckon you have to give it some credit for you and Rory too, you guys just took the long way around to get to the same page."

"Like you and Lorelai took the eagle's path!" Jess retorted, but he knew Luke was right. That book had changed a lot for him. "So go on then, what is it you want to tell me?"

"A few weeks before William was born I woke up with this aching pressure in my chest. At first I thought I was having a heart attack but then I saw Lorelai lying there next to me, propped up on all my pillows, sound asleep and the ache went away. A week or so later I had a call from Lorelai while I was here working the lunch rush. When I heard the panic in her voice, the ache came back and I dropped everything here and ran straight to her house only to find she'd been freaking out over an arachnid. Once again, the ache went away as soon as I knew she was safe. I didn't have that feeling again until the night before William was born. I was in the kitchen when I heard her cry out from the lounge and went running in to find her waters had broken. That time the ache stayed with me for hours until William was safely delivered into our arms." Jess was watching his uncle intently as he told him his story. Luke smiled at him as he continued, "the thing is Jess, what I came to realise was, that ache I felt was just a sign of how much I love Lorelai and William. I don't know what I would do if something happened to them either. What you felt this morning, after your dream, that is what makes it all real Jess. You're dug in deep here."

Jess contemplated his coffee for a while as he thought about what his uncle had told him. He was right or course, he was dug in deep. It was a relief to know what he was feeling was in fact normal.

"Hey Luke, thanks. You're pretty good with the fatherly advice. William's a lucky kid." Jess looked up from his cup to see his uncle smiling back at him.

"Anytime Jess."

"I guess I might just head back to Hartford now," Jess shrugged his shoulders as a customer entered the diner, taking a table by the window.

"You want a couple of coffees and some danishes to go?" Luke offered.

"I don't recall today being danish day" Jess queried.

"Yeah, Lorelai made me an offer I couldn't refuse and now everyday is danish day." Luke confirmed sheepishly.

"Yeah, I really don't want you to share that story with me so I'll just take two coffees and two, no make that three, danishes and be on my way." Jess came out from behind the counter, taking the food from his uncle.

"See you soon, Jess."

"Yeah, soon. Thanks Luke."

Jess stepped out the door and made his way back to his car feeling like a weight had been lifted. He pushed London Calling into the slot in the dash, turned up the volume and drummed along to the beats on his steering wheel the whole way back to Hartford.

Rory had been awake for a while when Jess returned to find her sitting in the rocking chair which he'd occupied only a few short hours earlier.

He smiled as he saw her there, "good morning beautiful. I just went out to get you some breakfast." He held up the coffees in one hand and the Luke's bag in the other. Rory broke out of the thoughtful trance she'd been in and beamed back at him.

"How is it that I can smell danishes? Today isn't danish day?"

"It would seem that you get your feminine wiles from your mother and Luke is as immune to her charms as I am to yours." Jess placed the food on top of the bookcase, coming to kneel before Rory.

"I missed you," she spoke, her voice quiet and serious as her fingers played amongst the waves of his hair. "I was worried when I saw your note. I thought..." Jess stopped her from saying the words out loud by kissing her.

"You don't ever have to think that again Rory, I promise you. Three days from now I will officially promise to never leave you but right here, right now, with no one to witness it but the sky, I promise you the same. Rory, I will never, ever leave you. I love you. I woke up this morning and felt like I couldn't breathe but then I saw you there asleep beside me and suddenly there was an abundance of oxygen. You are everything to me Rory. If I left you I would be nothing, I would have nothing. I've been there before and I don't ever want to go back to that place again."

Rory wiped happy tears from her eyes, "oh Jess, they are the most beautiful unwedding vows I have ever heard."

"How about we go sit in the kitchen and I'll heat up the coffees and you can get started on those danishes." Jess suggested.

"Wow, I could really get used to romantic Jess!" Rory teased as she rose from the chair, grabbing the bag of danishes as she made her way to the kitchen.

"You could huh?" Jess caught her before she reached the table, turning her towards him to snare her lips with his.

"Uh huh," was all the response she could get out before Jess silenced her again. Looked like they'd be having danishes for lunch instead.

_A/N I realise 'unwedding' is not an actual word but I couldn't get it out of my head after I remembered Jen's 'unbirthday' in Dawson's Creek so I stand by my decision to use it :) _


	44. Chapter 44

**Chapter 44**

**Finishing Touches**

Rory and Jess had planned to ignore tradition and spend the night before the wedding together until Lorelai called about a problem with the dress. A few minutes later Luke called to see if Jess would like to go out for a beer with him which gave the game away entirely. Jess knew all too well it was better to just oblige than try and go against Lorelai so agreed to the charade.

"I guess this is it then?" he said to Rory as he dropped her off at Lorelai's.

"Yeah, I guess so." she agreed reluctantly.

"Hey, after tonight you're stuck with me forever, maybe your mum's doing you a favour, one last night of freedom."

"I was kind of looking forward to one last night of something else," Rory admitted. Jess wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close for one last lingering kiss.

"The next time I do that you'll be my wife." She smiled at the thought and let him go. She waved goodbye to him from the end of the driveway as he headed to Luke's where they both assumed he would be staying the night.

Lorelai was standing at the front door waiting for her.

"How long have you been standing there?" Rory asked, a blush creeping into her face.

"Long enough to hope you'll be toning it down a little bit at the ceremony tomorrow. You do know your grandparents will be there right?" Rory's blush deepened at the thought of her grandparents witnessing a kiss to rival the one Jess had just treated her to on the driveway.

"So, are you going to show me this problem with the dress or do I need to get my back up outfit out of the car?"

"Oh, I'll show you the problem with the dress, follow me." Lorelai led the way into the lounge room where William was sound asleep in a Moses basket on the floor. "The problem is, there is no problem! The dress is perfect, it all came together so easily. Now we just need to make sure it fits."

"I knew you just made up an excuse to keep Jess and I apart tonight!" Rory told her as she tried on the dress.

"All I have to say in my defence is I wanted to spend your last night as a single woman with you, just like the night before I got married." Lorelai admitted.

"Well actually mum, you spent the night before you got married with your fiancé in Paris!" Rory pointed out.

"I wasn't referring to that marriage. I thought we'd decided to never, ever mention that unfortunate event again, for everyone's sake. Your dad and I are in a good place now and Luke can kind of tolerate him. Let's not go messing that up!" Rory nodded in agreement.

"Well I guess then you have a good point. We did have a good night before your wedding didn't we?" Rory conceded. Lorelai took a step back after fastening the last button.

"Wow Rory, you're so beautiful, $20 says you make that man of yours cry tomorrow! Go look in the mirror in your old room and I'll meet you back there in 2 minutes," Lorelai instructed her as she made her own way up the stairs.

"Thanks mum!" Rory threw her arms around Lorelai. Her room had been set up with a proper bed, no more single and trundle, and two sets of matching pjs lay waiting on the pillows, one for the bride and one for the groom.

"I figured you both might as well stay the night here tonight and seeing as this will always be your room, now it's Jess's room too and you are both welcome to stay here anytime you like. I know Hartford is close but still, I miss having you under this roof."

"I miss you too Mum," Rory hugged her to her, both of them tearing up.

"I have something else I wanted to give you too, I thought it could be your something old," Lorelai showed Rory a string of pearls she'd never seen her mother wear. "They were a gift from my parents, many moons ago, before I blotted my copybook. I've never even worn them but I don't want them to collect dust anymore and thought they would look perfect with your dress."

Rory tried them on and as usual her mother was right and they did go perfectly.

"There's just one more thing," Lorelai added before Rory could thank her for the necklace. She held out her hand to reveal a David Bowie pin circa Ziggy Stardust.

"Are you sure you got the old and borrowed the right way around?" Rory queried.

"That Bowie pin has seen me through good times and bad times Rory, it's one of the most precious jewels I own!" Lorelai assured her.

"Well then, in that case, thank you for your generosity, for both. I guess I'm ready now, I've got the blue and new already covered. Can you help me out of this before I spill something on it?" Rory turned her back to allow Lorelai access to the buttons. "I really love the dress mum, you've really done such an amazing job with it. It's everything I could've hoped for."

"You're welcome hun. Now hurry up and get changed and I'll meet you back in the lounge." Lorelai went back upstairs again, this time to change into her own pjs.

"Now I reckon we probably have time for at least one, possibly two movies before grandpa Luke realises its past his bedtime and brings your H2B back so what'll it be?"

Rory picked "My Best Friend's Wedding" from the pile on the coffee table while Lorelai went into the kitchen to get some food.

"Pizza's on its way too," she announced as she placed a massive bowl of popcorn and a plate loaded with enough sugar to put a lesser person into a coma.

"Are you planning on making my dress not fit me for tomorrow?" Rory looked at the selection before her alarmed.

"You're a Gilmore! You know better than to doubt the magical workings of your metabolism. Eat up. You'll need your strength for later" Lorelai replied.

"Mum!" Rory turned red again.

"I meant later as in tomorrow later. If I was designing you a sex room I'd have rung Emily to get the name of the guy who did the pool house up for you. I want to think of nothing but sleep happening in that bed." she pointed elaborately towards Rory's room. "Seriously hun, getting married is tiring work, especially when you're pregnant. Must be the having to deal with people you don't really want to deal with without the aid of a Long Island Iced Tea, or seven!" Lorelai laughed at her daughter's discomfort.

"Well luckily we are having so few guests it shouldn't be a problem." Rory replied.

"Um, Richard and Emily?" Lorelai reminded her.

"Oh yeah, a stiff drink does sound pretty good right about now. You don't think she will cause a fuss tomorrow do you? I've only seen them once since that horrible dinner and then it was to tell Grandma that Jess and I had planned the entire wedding on our own without any need for her book. She looked so hurt."

"Rory, answer me this, is tomorrow planned exactly how you and Jess wanted it?"

"Yes," Rory agreed without hesitation.

"Well then, Emily just has to deal with it. If all else fails we can just push her in the lake." Lorelai suggested.

"Yes, I hear it's cathartic." Rory agreed. "Speaking of the plans though, are you sure you're happy with the no kids rule, Taylor's not mine might I remind you? I checked with Lane this morning and Mrs Kim is all set. Have you heard anything about the other thing I told you about?" Rory asked her mother.

"Not a whisper, well only about the one you'd be expecting to hear about anyway. I think Luke's getting a kick out of the subterfuge to be honest. I think we're rubbing off on him," Lorelai laughed.

The pizza arrived then and the girls settled back into the chair to watch the movie, singing along when the good songs came on and pondering the similarities of Julia's bridesmaids dress and the one Lorelai wore to her parents vow renewal.

Luke took Jess to a bar in Woodbridge. After their talk just a few days earlier they were content to just sit and drink their beers and watch a pre-season ball game on the screen on the wall.

Midway through the second quarter Luke asked Jess, "so, you're seeing a counsellor?"

Jess nodded, "for a few months now."

"And it's helping?" Luke asked.

"Seems to be." Luke ordered another round of beers.

Jess took a sip before continuing, "I went and saw Liz. Remember when we came to see William and tell you about the wedding? I went and saw her that day. We had a good talk. I think we might salvage something there. It'll be nice for my kid to have two sets of grandparents nearby. Well, one and a half sets at least - still not sure what I think about TJ."

"I think he's pretty harmless and he sure seems to make Liz happy so, as long as I don't have to spend too much time with him I can see the good there," Luke admitted. "So, big day tomorrow huh? You feeling nervous?" Luke watched his nephew's face while he waited for his response.

"Actually, not at all. I feel...I dunno. I just feel calm I guess. I mean, I'm pretty confident my bride is gonna show up so that's a good start right? The rest of it, well it's just some words I need to say in front of some witnesses. Rory already knows them and I already know hers. Tomorrow is just making them official." Jess pushed his beer aside. "Hey Luke, would you mind if we leave here, go for a drive? I wanted to check out the bridge one last time before tomorrow."

"Sure Jess," Luke agreed pushing the rest of his beer aside too.

When they arrived at the bridge Jess turned to his uncle, "you don't need to push me in this time by the way. Not that it wasn't one of the more memorable moments of my life, I just don't need any wake up calls anymore."

"I can see that Jess. I promise I won't push you in the lake again." Luke agreed, a grin lighting up his face as he remembered that particular day. "You really were such a little punk!" he shook his head incredulously.

"Yeah, I probably would've pushed me in the lake too." Jess agreed.

Jess stood at the spot where he'd once shared a picnic with Rory. The same spot where she'd admitted her feelings for him the night of the dance marathon. The same spot he'd found her when he'd woken to her call and rushed back here praying he could be man enough to rescue her this time. Tomorrow they would stand here together and mark one more milestone on this bridge. He made a mental note to lodge an application for preservation of the bridge. He'd stolen the bridge fund money once in a juvenile attempt to protect it from change, this time he would go about it the right way.

Luke had wandered back to the truck and was waiting patiently there for him. Without a word Jess climbed into the seat beside his uncle.

"You all done?" Luke asked as he turned the truck in the direction of his and Lorelai's house.

"Yeah, all done. Thanks Luke. Hey, I thought I was staying at the diner tonight?" Jess queried as they rounded the corner and drove up the driveway to the old blue and white house.

"Lorelai just wanted the evening with Rory, you're welcome to stay here anytime Jess." Luke explained.

They got out of the car and walked up the front steps. Luke let them in the front door and followed Jess into the lounge where they found Lorelai and Rory predictably surrounded by candy wrappers and an empty pizza box on the table, movie still playing on the screen.

"Hey guys! Come join us!" Lorelai invited them.

"I'll just go check on William first," Luke said hello to Rory and kissed Lorelai before heading to the stairs.

"Come on Jess, I don't bite." Lorelai insisted as she patted the spot on the chair between her and her daughter.

"He's probably asleep already," Lorelai saw Jess looking up the stairs after his uncle. He shrugged of his jacket and lay it over the back of the armchair before coming to take his designated spot on the couch.

"I see you've had a good time!" he gestured at the colourful debris littering the coffee table.

"We sure have!" Rory assured him, kissing him on the cheek as he made himself comfortable beside her, one arm across the back of the chair behind her shoulders, the other hand reaching to hold hers in his lap.

"Wait until you see our surprise!"

"Can't I see it now?" Jess asked.

"Not until the movie is over and I'm safely upstairs with my earplugs in," Lorelai warned him with a smile.

"There's not much to go," Rory assured him.

"Well I guess I have no choice but to wait then do I?" Jess gave in and let himself get caught up in the movie. Hopefully their own day would be devoid of all Hollywood style drama. Short and simple and sweet, that was the plan anyway.


	45. Chapter 45

**Chapter 45**

**A Perfect Day**

Waking up in Rory's old room Jess initially felt confused. He remembered back to the night before and the revelation of the surprise once the movie had finished and Lorelai had gone to bed. It had occurred to him she probably got rid of the bed for Rory's sake, one less thing in the house to remind her of Dean. Whatever the reason, it was nice to feel so welcome under this roof and especially nice to be waking up sharing the same mattress as his soon to be wife. Rory had her back to him when he rolled over to face her. He began tracing his fingers up and down the gentle curve of her spine then kissed the back of her neck until she woke up.

Rory smiled as she realised where they were and want day it was "what a perfect day for a wedding!" she enthused as she rolled over to face Jess.

"How do you even know what kind of day it is with the curtains still shut?" Jess asked.

"Are you still going to marry me today?" Rory enquired.

"Of course I am!" Jess confirmed.

"Well then, it is a perfect day for a wedding!" she explained. "I don't care about the weather Jess. All that matters is you and me." Jess kissed her until he heard noises in the kitchen.

"I guess we better save that for later." he suggested, remembering Lorelai's words the night before.

"As long as you're not too busy with your new wife," Rory smiled back at him. She kissed him one more time then got out of bed, putting on her robe and slippers before stepping out into the kitchen in search of coffee. With the wedding not until 2pm they had plenty of time for a leisurely breakfast. Luke was already flipping pancakes onto plates when Rory sat down at the table.

"Morning Luke. Hmmm those pancakes smell delicious!"

"Chocolate chip just the way you like them," he smiled at her as he brought her plate to the table.

"I thought I could smell pancakes!" Lorelai came to join her daughter at the table, stealing a pancake from her plate.

"Hey you, stay away from my pancakes! Luke! She's stealing my pancakes!" Luke silenced them both by placing a second plate in front of Lorelai and adding an extra pancake to Rory's plate. Jess came out of the bedroom in his clothes from yesterday.

"Sleep well?" Lorelai asked.

"Thanks for the new bed Lorelai, it's like a brand new room, just for us." Lorelai nodded, understanding the message behind his words.

"And I hope Rory told you, you're welcome anytime."

"I appreciate it, I really do. Thankyou." Jess went to stand by his uncle at the stove.

"Any left for me?" he asked. Luke passed him another plate to take back to the table, smiling as he joined them.

"What's that smile for Luke?" Lorelai asked her husband.

"I was just thinking what a great day it is for a wedding."

"A perfect day," Jess agreed, winking at Rory as she stole a pancake from his plate.

After the breakfast plates had been cleared they went their separate ways. It was like any other day in Stars Hollow as Jess went to pick up his car from where he'd left it parked at the diner the night before. He drove it back to Lorelai's place, parking in the driveway behind Luke's truck. When Rory had gotten permission from Taylor to use the bridge it was on the proviso that they keep the guest list to a minimum and that suited them just fine. They also then had to keep it a secret to keep any sightseers away. The guest list consisted of Luke, Lorelai, Richard, Emily, Christopher, GiGi, Lane, Zach, Sookie, Jackson, Liz and TJ. Lorelai had invited Lane over to help get Rory ready but everyone else would be meeting them at the bridge for the ceremony that afternoon.

Mrs Kim was on babysitting duty and had seemed bizarrely in her element when Lane had left her surrounded by 8 children of varying ages. She carried her own dress in her hand as she walked over to Lorelai's. She let herself in the front door and found Rory sitting on the new bed in her old room.

"Oh wow! This looks so different!" she exclaimed as she came into the room and gave Rory a hug.

"You're getting married today!" she practically squealed.

"I know!" Rory squealed back.

"Okay now, what will the soundtrack be for this monumental occasion?" Lane dumped out the contents of her bag onto the bed.

"I don't suppose you brought any Lou Reed?" Rory asked. Lane rummaged through her bag once more, pulling out her music player, she scrolled through the songs and pressed play when she found the one she was looking for.

"How about this?" she asked Rory as the verse began. "Perfect song for a perfect day." Rory beamed at her in approval. They gathered all the things they need from Rory's room to begin the transformation from bedraggled to bride and headed for the stairs to find Lorelai.

Lorelai, Lane and Rory used the upstairs bathroom while the Luke and Jess stayed downstairs to get ready. Rory sent Jess a text when she was all but done. "_See you there xx_" he replied and a few minutes later they heard the front door close and Luke's truck starting up then reversing down the drive.

"This is really it!" Rory was suddenly so excited she could hardly contain it. Lane fastened the buckles on her shoes for her as Rory stood in front of Lorelai's mirror, smiling at this bridal version of herself she found there.

"You might as well pay up now Lane," Lorelai joked. "You are the prettiest bride I ever did see!" Lorelai spoke to Rory's reflection before turning to face the real thing. "Seriously hun, all motherly bias aside, you look breathtaking. Jess isn't going to know what hit him." She ran her fingers over the strand of pearls before adjusting the Bowie badge where she'd pinned it half hidden in Rory's cleavage but where she knew Jess would notice it. Another text came through to Rory's phone.

"Wow he's keen, we're not even late yet!" Lorelai went to finish her own makeup and get her shoes on.

Rory checked her phone "_nervous_?" he'd asked "_not even a little bit xx_" she replied.

Rory couldn't keep the smile from her face as they went down to the car and it seemed to grow as they got closer to their destination and she stepped out of the car. She waited for her mum and Lane to join the others on the bridge before she stepped into sight of their guests and slowly began to walk towards them.

Rory's dress was an empire waisted, cream, tealength gown with a full skirt and on her feet she wore pale blue Mary Janes with a practical heel. She wore her hair up in a mess of curls, her eyes slightly covered by a birdcage veil and the pearls and pin from her mother completed her outfit perfectly. Jess didn't think he'd ever seen her look more beautiful and felt his throat begin to swell and his eyes begin to swim as she walked towards him. Jess's suit was navy blue with a classic white shirt, open slightly at the neck. He'd combed his hair back a little leaving his face unobstructed for her to gaze upon. He looked more handsome than she'd ever seen him, especially with that look of pure affection in his eyes. Rory had to remind herself to breathe when she saw him standing there waiting for her. When she finally reached him she let out the breathe she'd been holding since getting out of the car and a giggle escaped on its tail. Jess raised a hand to her cheek and whispered I love you to her before taking her hand so the nuptials could commence.

The world around them ceased to exist as they stood on the bridge before the Justice of the Peace and their families, promising their lives to each other. Jess almost laughed when he eventually noticed the Ziggy pin, silently thanking Lorelai for this simple gesture that helped calm the nerves that suddenly sprung out of control when he saw Rory walking toward him. He quoted T.S. Eliot to his bride "_I learn a great deal by merely observing you, and letting you talk as long as you please, and taking note of what you do not say._" which incited a few chuckles from their friends and family. Rory quoted Hemingway to him "_The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the broken places._" They pledged to never run away again and always speak the words that were on their minds. They sealed their vows with a passionate kiss then just stood there, looking into each others eyes, oblivious to their guests having left them alone on the bridge.

"So, that's that then?" Jess asked his new wife.

"Yes, that's that." she agreed.

"Before we join the rest of them I just wanted to say you look incredible Rory. Allow me a few cliches, it is my wedding day after all. I have never felt happier in my entire life than I feel right now. You were right, or Hemingway was right, we were broken but now we are strong and together we're more powerful than either one alone."

"I love you Jess. I feel like I'm finally where I'm meant to be. I know we still have a long road ahead and there will be our share of challenges for sure but as long as you're there to hold my hand, I know we can face whatever life throws in our path next."

"Shall we then, wife?" Jess offered his hand to Rory.

"Lead the way, husband." Rory tangled her fingers through Jess's and allowed him to lead her from the bridge.

They'd successfully kept the wedding a secret, or so it still seemed. Hand in hand the pair walked back through Stars Hollow to Luke's where they expected their guests would be waiting for them. As they approached the gazebo they stopped to stare as the entire town stood before them, clapping and whistling.

"So much for a secret wedding," Jess turned to Rory.

"Well technically the wedding was a secret," she grinned sheepishly back at him. "I may have had to make an additional deal with Taylor to get permission to get married on the bridge. He was concerned there might be some kind of riot if people caught wind of our secret nuptials and the bridge would collapse under the weight of the extra guests and so he made me agree to plan a party as a decoy. Our guests," she gestured at the gathering that easily overshadowed the 10 on their original guest list, "are under the impression we are getting married here, under the gazebo in about," she reached for his arm to check his watch, "20 minutes."

"You're lucky I love you, Mrs Mariano." Jess smiled at his new wife, kissing her passionately, ignoring the wolf whistles coming from the crowd of onlookers.

The townsfolk partied well into the night but the bride and groom had snuck away in the twilight, escaping back to their own home. They planned to take a short honeymoon before the baby arrived, just a weekend trip although that time was running out fast and they were still debating locations. For now they were looking forward to the comfort of their own bed and each others arms. They spent the night getting to know each other for the first time as husband and wife, falling asleep with smiles on their faces.


	46. Chapter 46

**Chapter 46**

**At The End Of The Day**

"I can not believe they didn't even have a receiving line and where were the speeches? It was bad enough that we had to stand on that horrible old bridge, fearing it might collapse under our combined weight and the bugs! Oh the bugs! Yes all of that was dreadful but I kept telling myself, it's kitschy and cute and "them" because that was what Lorelai had said to me on the phone last week when I called her to discuss my concerns. Yes, I stood there and I smiled as I watched my only granddaughter marry that man all the while thinking, there's still the reception. Well, what a fool was I to assume it would be any different! If only she'd referred to my folder, it was all there, every detail covered. Where was the champagne toast? The cake ceremony? The first dance? Oh Richard, it was all so terribly wrong."

Richard kept his eyes on the road as he listened to Emily's rant. Nodding and agreeing would be the easy road in this scenario but he decided Rory deserved his support on this particular occasion.

"Answer me this, Emily: do you believe Rory was happy today?" he asked her.

"I guess," Emily admitted in a sulky tone.

"Well then, in that case, I fail to see any problem. So what if they did things a little unconventionally. I for one found it rather refreshing. Did you know that young couples these days are accumulating massive debts to pay for elaborate wedding days creating marriages that end up in divorce while the interest is still multiplying? I was reading an article about it in the Courant just last week. I think, given the circumstances and what I know of Rory and Jess, today was a perfect representation of their commitment to each other."

"We could have given them the money," Emily pouted, but her voice had lost its argumentative edge.

"You know as well as I do that they would never have accepted it Emily. The day is done, they are now married, let's just put this behind us shall we?" Richard asked her as he pulled into their driveway. "That baby will be arriving before we know it Emily. Surely you don't want to risk jeopardising your relationship with Rory again so close to her due date?"

Emily was suddenly caught up in a new idea as she waited for Richard to open her door and help her out of the car.

"Of course you're right Richard, the wedding is over, I can not do anything about that now except get used to the idea that Rory is now a Mariano. What I can do however is throw Rory a baby shower! Oh, I can just picture it now! The weather is suddenly so lovely, we might even have a high tea in the garden. I'll call her in the morning and start making plans!" Emily enthused.

"Emily, perhaps leave your call until later in the week, this is their wedding night after all." Richard gently reminded her, glad that she'd found a new focus and hopeful that she'd put her disappointment over the day's ceremony behind her, at least for the time being anyway.

"Oh, yes, well I guess in that case, I might call Lorelai instead. Oh you've just given me the most marvelous idea - a surprise party! Oh yes that will be perfect!"

"Emily?" Richard tried to get his wife's attention back to the present moment. "It's been a long day Emily," he said when she finally looked at him, "let's go to bed and you can begin your planning in the morning. If you like, I will even come with you to pick out a gift."

Emily happily followed him up the stairs to their room, smiling to herself as she imagined the garden decorated with pastel bunting and lace. Yes, it would be just perfect!

...

"Jackson?"

"Yes Sookie?"

"Wasn't that just the most perfect day?"

"Well, yes it was pretty great but not quite as perfect as the day I married you." Jackson kissed his wife as they walked away from the crowd still partying away at the gazebo.

Lane had returned home to help out her mum as soon as Rory and Jess had made their exit but Sookie was keen to go and collect their three munchkins from them and take them home to their own beds.

"You know, I think maybe the cake was the best part," Jackson smiled coyly at her as they approached Lane's house.

"You had me at that suit Jackson, no culinary complements required." Sookie batted her eyelids at him. "Now let's get these kids home to bed then you can tell me more about that cake, it really was good wasn't it?"

"It's a shame no one else got to have any really!" Jackson pointed out.

...

Luke had collected William from Mrs Kim on the way back from the wedding. It was not that he didn't trust Mrs Kim to look after him, he'd just missed having him around and it wasn't like Taylor had banned kids from the party too. Rory and Jess had never made it to the diner, getting caught up in the crowd in the square. They'd found Lorelai and Luke to say their thank yous and goodbyes before making a quiet escape just after the sun has set. When the crowd had gotten too much for him and William, Luke had retreated with him to the diner. When Lorelai found him there later she took one look at the untouched wedding cake and with a wicked gleam in her eye went in search of forks and plates. Sookie and Jackson had come to find them to say goodbye and they joined in the mini cake ceremony too.

"It would be bad luck if we didn't!" Lorelai justified herself as she cut the first piece from Sookie's incredible creation. "If we just eat the bottom layer, they'll never even know!"

Luke rolled his eyes at his wife but handed William over to Jackson as he went to clear enough space in the fridge to store the rest of the cake for Rory and Jess to enjoy tomorrow.

"We really should get William home soon," Luke looked over to where Lorelai was still sitting at the counter eating cake.

Sookie and Jackson had left sometime ago and Lorelai had continued in her quest to consume the remainder of the bottom tier on her own, "just let me finish disposing of the evidence Luke then we can go."

Luke just shook his head and made himself comfortable. He knew better than to stand in the way of a Gilmore girl and her cake. He hoped for Jess's sake he learnt this rule quick smart too. Imagine if they had a girl - a third generation coffee addict no doubt. Jess would be beating the boys off with a stick and Luke would be right behind him for back up.

"What's that smile for?" Lorelai asked Luke, looking up from the now empty plate.

"Just thinking about family. Our family." Luke replied.

"It was a good day today wasn't it?" Lorelai smiled as she remembered the look on Jess's face when he'd noticed her pin.

"A very good day," Luke agreed.

...

It was 2am when Rory shook Jess awake.

"What is it? What's wrong? Is it the baby?" he sat bolt upright in the bed, his eyes half shut, his hair standing on end.

"The cake! We forgot about the cake!" Rory told him.

Jess slumped back against his pillow with a groan, "Rory! You practically gave me a heart attack and over a stupid cake?!"

"Not a stupid cake Jess - a Sookie triple layer chocolate mud cake with mocha cream frosting and teeny tiny sugar bluebells and bluebirds and..."

"It's just a cake Rory!" Jess cut her off. "We've been married 12 hours and we're fighting over baked goods!"

"12 whole hours? It's officially our second day as a married couple!" Rory pointed out. "I think we should celebrate!"

"Rory, I love you but I am not driving to Stars Hollow at 2 in the morning to get you cake!" Jess rolled over to bury his face in his pillow.

Not a lot of sleep had been had yet and he'd been in the midst of a happy dream for a change when Rory had woken him. Now he just wanted to settle his heart rate back to within normal range and find his way back to his dream.

Rory began placing gentle kisses along Jess's shoulders, working her way down the line of his spine, first to the small of his back then back up again, stopping when she reached the back of his neck. She nibbled his earlobe between her teeth, smiling in satisfaction when she heard a groan, quite different from the one earlier, rumble it's way from the back of her husband's throat.

"Rory?"

"Mm hmmm"

"how about I get you the cake in the morning?"

"Well technically it..."

"The real morning - the one in which the sun actually exists."

Rory kissed him one last time between his shoulder blades before making herself comfortable again on her side of the bed.

"You're the best husband in the world ever!" she teased him.

"You're an okay wife too I guess," Jess mocked in return.

"I love you Jess."

"I love you too Rory. Now please, can we get some sleep? I've got an important errand to run in the morning now and I don't want to disappoint my wife by being late."

Rory squeezed her husband's hand where it lay beneath the covers then they both turned on their sides and drifted back to sleep. Jess returned to his dream about Rory while Rory fell into a new dream about cake.


	47. Chapter 47

**Chapter 47**

**What's in a Name?**

The newlyweds spent the best part of a week like the sweet agoraphobic couple Lane had once accused them of being and before they knew it, it was Sunday again. They had occupied their time reading, watching movies and making use of their cosy bed. Jess opened the shop between 10am and 2pm just for the week, working on his book at the desk in the store when it was quiet. He had retrieved the cake from Luke's as promised the day after the wedding and they worked their way through it, supplementing it with takeaways and a few token pieces of fruit and some vegetables that Jess insisted the baby needed.

"I thought this was supposed to have been a 3 tier cake?" Rory mused as they finished the bottom layer of the cake.

"Are you trying to tell me 2 tiers of cake isn't enough cake for you?" Jess mocked her as he stole a forkful for himself.

"I was merely thinking how nice it would be to still have 2 tiers left then we could freeze the top one for luck or whatever it's for."

"We do still have the top tier to freeze," Jess pointed out.

"But I don't want to freeze it I want to eat it! Can you not understand my dilemma?"

Jess shook his head "honestly, no. It's just cake Rory. We don't need luck anyway, we have fate on our side."

"Fate huh?" Rory queried, surprised at his use of the word.

"Yeah, fate, destiny, whatever you want to call it. It wasn't something I ever really believed in before but now, I guess I do. I mean, how else do you explain this?" Jess reached to hold her hand in his, tracing the thin band nestled next to her engagement ring. "Somehow, despite everything, we got here. Is there any other word for it but fate?"

Rory looked at her husband. He never ceased to amaze her with that beautiful analytical mind of his.

"So I guess I'll just go ahead and enjoy my cake then." Rory smiled.

"Yes, you do that. I'll leave you to it." Jess kissed her on the forehead as he headed towards the stairs to their office. He suddenly had a few more ideas for the book he was working on and he wanted to get them down on paper before they escaped his mind.

Rory sat enjoying her cake for a while until the question of the third tier got too much for her hormonal mind to bear.

"Oh Luke! I'm glad I got you!" Rory spoke down the phone line as her step dad picked up.

"Did you want to speak to Lorelai?" he asked her.

"I will in a moment but first I have a question for you: how many tiers were in our wedding cake?"

"Ummm...2?" Luke was a terrible liar.

"You hesitated! You shouldn't have hesitated! I knew there was a third tier. I could've had a lucky layer after all! Will you please put the cake thief on the phone now?" Rory asked.

"Well hello Mrs Mariano." Lorelai greeted her daughter, "Did the bed finally kick you out?"

"Actually, I was just sitting here, pondering cake and the fact that you stole an entire tier of my wedding cake!" Rory accused her mother.

"Well, you see..." Lorelai began.

"Oh please, save your explanations for Judy! I can't believe you stole my cake!"

"It's good cake thing isn't it?"

"So not the point, but yes, it's good cake." Rory agreed smiling as she loaded another forkful into her mouth.

"Maybe I can ask Sookie to make you another one for your baby shower?" Lorelai suggested.

"Or maybe she could just make one for me and the shower guests can all eat cookies."

"I'll see what I can arrange," Lorelai promised. "Speaking of your baby shower, remember how I said I wanted to throw you one at the Dragonfly? Well, there's a spanner the size and shape of Emily Gilmore in the works. She called me the day after the wedding, all excited about planning a surprise baby shower for you at their house Sunday week."

"Not really going to be a surprise now then is it mum?" Rory pointed out.

"I figured this time you'd rather know. Just practice your surprise face a bit in the meantime because, frankly, your usual surprise face comes off as more of a grimace and that's not going to fool Emily and she'll know it was me that told you and then I will never be allowed to see your baby and she'll insist the kid calls her grandma instead."

"Noted, I will get onto that right away!" Rory promised. "Seriously though, a surprise party?"

"Yep. There's no stopping Emily when she gets an idea in her head. How about I come by that Sunday morning and we can hang out for a while before we head over there? I'll bring Lane and Sookie too if you like. We can have a pre-shower shower."

"That sounds perfect mum. Throw in a three tier replica wedding cake and you've got yourself a plan."

Jess loved sitting in his office, looking across his desk to Rory's. They'd put them back to back in the centre of the room and he often found himself noticing the small details in her scattered belongings as he pondered over a sentence. Anyone who knew them would be surprised to see his orderly piles of paper and tidy jar of pencils in contrast to the messy stacks, ticketed with multicoloured post its and an array of pens and highlighters that littered Rory's space. She never ceased to amaze him with the myriad of dimensions to her seemingly straight laced perfectionist personality. The side of herself she shared with him between the sheets had been a surprising revelation too, one that he was relishing in. Lately he was wondering how much her pregnancy hormones were influencing her but he was not about to complain, sleep was overrated anyway.

He turned his attention away from his wife's desk and back to the words he was writing for her. Everything he wrote was for her. Having her under the same roof was just accelerating the process now. He'd been thinking a lot about fate and destiny lately. About how he'd come to be here, now, and all the different paths he could have taken to get him here sooner. He'd asked Rory a few nights earlier while they lay in bed together if she would change anything about their past. She'd admitted she wouldn't have kissed him when she came to see him at Truncheon the very first time. She knew it hadn't been fair and regretted taking advantage of his feelings when she couldn't fully reciprocate them. Jess had had a lot of years to think about what he would've changed. When Rory turned his question back on to him he admitted he had seen her come to talk to him the day of Fran's funeral. He went after her but changed his mind. That was the moment he would change. He would have found her and explained about being kicked out of school and Jimmy showing up and that what happened in Kyle's bedroom was not at all her fault. He would have told her that he had thought about how their first time together should be and the money he'd been saving so he could take her somewhere special enough when she was ready. He would have told her that he loved her.

There was no way of knowing what might have been, he was just so incredibly grateful for everything he had right now. Jess picked up his pencil and continued to write, picking up the thread he'd left dangling before his reminiscence and running with it across the page until he'd filled it up, then the next one and the one after that. When the words ran out he rose from the chair, returned his pencil to the jar and went back downstairs to remind his wife how much he loved her.

"Whatcha reading?" Rory asked as she snuck up behind Jess where he sat in the lounge later that evening, nose hidden in a book.

"Just passing the time," Jess closed the book and pushed it down between the sofa cushions, out of Rory's reach.

"It kinda looks like a book I was reading recently, just yesterday actually. I was sitting right there, where you are and I must've left it somewhere around here..." Rory sat on Jess's lap as she reached her hand between the gap to locate the book. "Uh huh!"she raised her book in the air. "So, any thoughts on the subject?" Rory asked as she held the book of baby names in her lap.

"Uh, Ror, don't take this the wrong way, but you're kinda squashing me a little here!"

"Don't think you can distract me from this Jess!" Rory waved the book under his nose as she moved herself from his lap to sit in the chair beside him. "Did you find any you like?" she probed.

"Some I guess. I mean, what's in a name anyway right?"

"Do you want to see my list?" Rory asked him.

"I have a better idea," Jess told her "how about we pick one name each, you can choose the first name seeing as you're the one doing the whole growing a miracle part and I'll pick a middle name."

"Sounds fair to me I guess." Rory considered his suggestion, "but what if we really hate the names we come up with?"

"Well that's always a possibility I guess. How about we each have veto power over the other's choice, within reason."

"Okay then," Rory agreed, passing the book back to Jess. "I think I already have mine picked out so you can keep this," she assured him.

"Oh really? Well then, I guess I'd better get back to it," Jess resumed his search with Rory sitting beside him, hands stretched over her now massive bump, smiling at her husband.


	48. Chapter 48

**Chapter 48**

**The Pre-Party Party**

Rory was still in her sweats looking through her wardrobe for something to wear to her baby shower when Lorelai arrived. Jess had let her in before heading back upstairs to his office.

"I come bearing gifts!" Lorelai announced as she plopped herself down on the bed.

"What's this?" Rory asked hopefully as she looked inside the garment bag Lorelai had placed on the bed.

"I was worried you might show up at your party looking like that" she gestured at Rory's current ensemble "and figured you might like to borrow something more suitable."

The bag contained the yellow and white dress Lorelai had worn to her own baby shower for William.

"Thanks mum, this is perfect" Rory threw her arms around Lorelai.

"So Lane and Sookie should be here in about half an hour, do you want to open the rest of your presents now or when they get here?" Rory scanned the room but didn't spot any hidden gifts. Lorelai nodded her head toward the lounge where she'd left a pile of gifts bags, following behind as Rory raced to see what was in them.

"So, now then?"

"Yes please!" Rory agreed.

Once all the parcels had been unwrapped and Rory had oohed and ahhed over the tiny clothes and the super soft baby blanket Lorelai had picked, the two girls sat back on the couch to wait for the other pre-party party guests to arrive. When they did, more gifts were unwrapped and then the 4 of them watched "Knocked Up" together, with Rory laughing and crying at inappropriate times.

"You do know it's not like it looks in the movies?" Lane asked her friend.

"Yeah, they don't come out looking like that," Lorelai admitted.

"And no one looks that good after giving birth!" Sookie added.

"I'm not sure I'll be worrying too much about my hair at the time," Rory laughed at their commentary. She'd been reading up on all things birth related and was pretty sure they were all absolutely right. She tried to put it out of her mind and enjoy the end of the movie but as her due date got closer she couldn't help the daunting feeling that came over her every time she thought about the actual giving birth part.

Rory and Jess had been attending antenatal classes together at the hospital. Rory doubted Jess had ever paid so much attention to a teacher in his life! She was so relieved to have him there with her, to remember all the things she missed or forgot. The breastfeeding class had been particularly interesting and Jess had taken plenty of notes that day. Rory smiled as she remembered. They had two more classes to go - one this week about labour positions and then the last one the week after about care of the newborn. Last time Lane and Zack had been round to visit with their kids, Zack had been giving Jess some tips on baby holding positions and they'd been getting some valuable practice with William too. It was good to know they had plenty of backup options if they needed help or advice. Rory didn't want anyone else there but Jess and the necessary staff when the time came but once the gory part was over with, everyone would be welcome.

The movie came to an end without Rory having even realised it.

"You ok sweets?" Lorelai asked.

"Yeah, just thinking," Rory gave her a reassuring smile. "I'd better go get dressed for the actual party," she added suddenly noticing the time.

She left the three women discussing their birth experiences and went to change into the yellow dress from her mum. She was admiring the way the hem fell in the mirror when Jess came up to join her in the reflection.

"You look incredible," the awe evident in his voice as he ran his hands over the swell of her belly, his eyes watching their path in the mirror before rising to meet her eyes.

"How's the book going?" she asked "you've been up there a lot this last week!"

"Yeah, I'm sorry, I can't help it, the words are just demanding their way onto the page. Tonight, once you get back from this party, I promise you'll have me all to yourself."

"I don't mind sharing you with your pencils and paper Jess, I just can't wait to read what you've been working on." Rory assured him.

"Soon," he promised her, "It's very nearly done."

"Will this one be for everyone or just for me?" she asked.

"Every word I write is just for you Rory but yes, this one I will share with everyone else who chooses to read it as well."

"So, do you think you'll finish it while I'm at the party?" Rory probed him with playful impatience.

"It's possible. I'm suddenly feeling inspired at the sight of you in that dress." he pulled her hair aside to kiss her on the neck.

"What kind of book are you writing Jess?!"

"Just a few rambling thoughts about fate," he admitted. "Are you ready to go?"

"I'll just tell mum and Sookie and Lane to go ahead and we will catch them up there."

Rory went into the lounge where she found the three of them giggling like little schoolgirls.

"Um, as fun as this pre-party party has been, I think you need to be getting yourselves to the actual party so I can arrive an appropriate amount of time later and act surprised."

"See you there hun!" Lorelai grabbed her purse and led Sookie and Lane down the stairs to their cars. Jess followed behind them to let them out the door, locking it behind him again before racing back up the stairs to Rory.

"So how long before we need to be leaving then?" his eyes taking in the sight of her in that dress.

"Not nearly long enough Jess!" Rory warned him but happily let him lead her to the lounge where they compromised, making out like teenagers until it was time to leave.

"I could happily spend forever kissing you," Rory sighed.

"Yes, but then you would be late for your party and we can't have that now can we," Jess mocked her words but secretly felt the same way.


	49. Chapter 49

**Chapter 49**

**Tea for Twenty-Two**

"Are you sure you don't want me to go in with you?" Jess asked as he dropped Rory off for her pretend afternoon tea with Emily. Lorelai, Sookie and Lane had left the apartment twenty minutes earlier and now it was time for Rory to arrive to her surprise.

"Oh Jess, I know that is the last thing you want to do and I love you for offering but I think I'll be okay." Rory leant across to kiss Jess goodbye "Off you go then, finish writing my book. Maybe then you can read me some tonight before I go to sleep."

"Okay." Jess kissed his wife one last time. He could think of no better way to spend his evening than reading to her in bed. He waited until the maid let her in the door and then a few more minutes in case she changed her mind but when she didn't return he started the engine and drove back home, his mind already on getting up to his office to finish writing Rory's book.

"Oh hello Rory, how lovely you look! You really are glowing aren't you?" Emily rose from her chair in the living room to greet her granddaughter. "I thought we'd have our tea on the patio, the weather has been so lovely lately and the garden is looking gorgeous with the spring blooms."

"That sounds lovely Grandma," Rory agreed trying not to spoil the ruse. When they walked out onto the patio to find twenty pairs of eyes looking her way she didn't have to fake her surprise!

"Oh wow grandma! You really shouldn't have!" Rory exclaimed as she took in the faces around the tables. Aside from her grandmother, mother, Lane and Sookie there was not a single person present that she'd spoken to since she'd graduated from Yale. She scanned the faces of the Hartford High Society and DAR crowd and breathed a sigh of relief when she didn't find Sheera Huntzberger's amongst them. That would have made for an awkward afternoon!

The tables of course were immaculate, each with a tiered cake stand with a variety of pastries, cakes and finger sandwiches. Pitchers of strawberry lemonade sat alongside bottles of champagne on the pastel yellow tablecloths. Pastel bunting was hung overhead and even the gifts on the table by the French doors had coordinating ribbons and wrap.

"Everything looks so beautiful Grandma, thankyou." Rory hugged her as the guests politely clapped. Rory caught her mother's eye and smiled as Emily directed her towards her other guests.

After almost an hour of painful small talk Rory was beginning to feel weary. She excused herself from her grandmothers friends and went to sit at the table where Lane and Sookie were debating the sex of the baby while Lorelai taunted them by pretending to already know.

"Are you okay hun? You're looking a little pale," Lorelai asked, genuinely concerned.

"I just need to sit down for a while I think," Rory assured her.

"I'll get you a drink Rory, and would you like some food? You've been so busy over there talking I bet you haven't had a chance yet," Sookie offered.

"Thanks Sookie. A drink yes and food definitely," Rory responded gratefully. Lane brought a chair closer and helped Rory put her feet up on it.

"Is everything okay over here?" Emily came over to check on Rory when she noticed her feet up on the chair. "You are looking a little pale. Would you like to lie down upstairs? The games can wait."

"I think I just need a drink and something to eat Grandma," Rory assured her.

"Sookie's getting her something mum," Lorelai added. "Why don't you start the games with the ladies and we'll stay here and keep Rory company until she's feeling well enough to join in," Lorelai suggested. Rory gave her a thankful look as Emily agreed, heading back over to the other tables where she began to hand out quiz cards and pastel pencils to the party guests.

Sookie placed a glass of lemonade in front of Rory and a plate of cookies and pastries beside it. Rory drank and ate and willed herself to feel better but a short while later, the quiz game was wrapping up and she was suddenly desperate to lie down.

"Mum, I think I need to go upstairs."

Lorelai got up immediately, laying her mint green gingham napkin on the table as she came around the table to help Rory out of her chair. With Lane on the other side they walked her up the stairs to Lorelai's old room while Sookie went to explain their sudden departure to Emily.

"Mum, something's wrong, I feel it. I need you to call Jess. I need him here." Rory was stressing out. Lorelai sent Lane downstairs to call Jess and sat on the bed next to Rory, holding her hand as she told her a story.

"This room sure has a lot of memories Rory. It remembers the day I first realised I was pregnant with you. It remembers the day I went into labour with you. The day I brought you home and sat up just looking at you all night. You were just this tiny beautiful thing and you were all mine. This room saw all the big and little moments of my life and right now, it's witnessing another one. When Jess gets here I'm going to drive you both to the hospital to make sure everything's okay. It's probably nothing but this could be the start of it."

"Mum? I'm really scared. What if I can't do this?"

"Oh hun, one way or another that baby will come out, that's guaranteed, and it's totally okay to be scared, normal even. It's a frightening and daunting experience but it is also the most amazing and incredible thing you will ever do in your life. I've done it twice now so I consider myself a pretty good authority on the matter. If you want I can get Sookie to weigh in here too. I'm pretty sure she'd agree with me though when I tell you you're about to realise you are stronger than you ever could have believed possible and your heart will swell up so much you'll feel like it can no longer fit in your chest. When you see that tiny face for the first time you'll no longer believe 42 to be the answer."

A quiet knock at the door interrupted them. Lorelai hugged her daughter before getting up to open the door.

"She's all yours," she smiled warmly at Jess as she stepped aside to let him through the door.

Jess took the place on the bed where Lorelai had been sitting, taking Rory's hand in his and lifting it to his mouth to place a kiss in her palm. Lorelai smiled at the scene before her then carefully closed the door behind her as she went back downstairs to tell Emily she'd be taking the guest of honour to the hospital.

Emily explained to the guests, encouraging them to stay and enjoy the afternoon despite Rory's absence. They all whispered their concerns but remained happily chatting away for the next hour, enjoying the company and the spring weather, none of them willing to miss out on a front row seat if Rory actually went into labour during the party. Emily saw Lorelai, Jess and Rory to the car and made them promise to let her know as soon as they knew anything. Jess had phoned ahead to let the hospital staff know they were coming in. Rory still had two weeks to go but he had read that anything after 37 weeks was considered term so this could be it. Rory's hospital bags were packed and waiting in the nursery but he hadn't even thought to bring them. It's just a checkup he told himself.

2 hours later they arrived back at the apartment. Rory's blood pressure was elevated but there were no signs of labour at this stage. Their doctor had sent them home with instructions for bed rest and no more caffeine. He'd given Jess a portable monitor so they could keep an eye on it and come back if it got too high again. Once Rory was settled in bed Jess went back to the Gilmore mansion with Lorelai to pick up his car. The rest of the guests had left by now but Emily invited them in to hear what the doctor had said.

"Oh well, as long as Rory and the baby are okay. A couple of weeks of bed rest, however will you get her to stay still for that long? I shall get Richard to send her over some books to read and of course I can come and sit with her." Emily spoke more to herself than the two people sitting across from her in the living room.

"Thanks Mum," Lorelai stood up to leave. "We told her we wouldn't be long, we really just came to get Jess's car."

"Oh yes, of course. Did you want to take the gifts with you now?"

"Gifts?" Jess asked as if forgetting the reason Rory had been here in the first place.

"You get going Jess, get back to Rory, I can load my car up and drop the gifts off before I head back to Stars Hollow."

"Okay, thanks Lorelai. Thank you Emily. I'll let you know if anything else happens." Jess went straight to his car leaving Lorelai and Emily standing on the doorstep watching him go.

"He really does love her doesn't he?" Emily finally conceded.

"Yes mum, he really does."

"Well, let's get in and get these gifts, hopefully you'll only have to do one trip." Lorelai laughed until she saw the massive pile of pastel wrapped presents in the hallway.

"Okay, they might need to find a new apartment to fit all this stuff! I'll take what I can now and then maybe you and dad could take the rest over to them later in the week, I'm sure Rory would be happy to see you. She feels bad about leaving the party early."

"Her health is more important than a party Lorelai. I'm not completely heartless you know. You tell Rory not to give it another thought and I will call her to arrange a time to visit later in the week."

"I will do that. It was a lovely party mum."

"It was wasn't it?" Emily smiled as they closed the car door, sealing half the parcels from the pile safely inside.

"See you soon mum."

"Drive carefully Lorelai, I suspect there might be a few breakables in those boxes." Lorelai laughed to herself as she drove away, Emily always did get the last word but today she decided just to let her.

"Was that mum?" Rory called out to Jess from the bedroom.

"She was just dropping off some gifts from the party, she didn't want to wake you. She said she'll call to check up on you tomorrow." Jess's came to sit beside Rory on the bed. "Are you feeling any better?"

"A little I think, just tired now I guess. It's hard to know what's normal when I've never done this before."

"Well, now we just do what the Doctor said and see what happens right?" Jess made himself more comfortable on the bed.

"Um Jess, I think when he said bed rest the emphasis was on the rest part," Rory warned him.

"So I take it that you don't want me to do what I promised I would do to you?" Jess asked with mock innocence. At the sight of her blushing cheeks Jess pulled out the stack of pages he'd stowed under the bed earlier, "the thing is, I finished this while you were out and I'm not in the business of broken promises anymore. Shall I read it to you?"

"I would love that! Thank you Jess."

Jess smiled at his wife and began to read from the first page stopping only when he realised she had fallen back to sleep "...that's the funny thing about fate, destiny, whatever you want to call it. It so suddenly renders you less: speechless; powerless; breathless; while giving you so much more: direction; purpose; life. One thing I know to be true, if this woman is my destiny, I'll willingly trade all my words for her."


	50. Chapter 50

**Chapter 50**

**An Expected Arrival**

Rory woke Jess at 2 in the morning. "This better not be about cake!" Jess warned as he said bolt upright in the bed as he had just a few weeks earlier. "Definitely not about cake," Rory assured him as she switched on the bedside lamp to expose the now wet bed. "Okay" was all he said before jumping out of bed and leaving the room. "Um, Jess?" Rory called after him. Jess wordlessly returned laying towels along the floor for Rory to walk over to the bathroom. "How about you take a shower while I put the bags in the car and phone the hospital," he suggested, repeating words he'd heard somewhere before, most likely at those classes they'd had to take. "Okay," Rory agreed. "Are you sure you're okay Jess?" Jess just nodded at her, unable to speak. He went on ahead of her to the bathroom, adjusting the water temperature while she removed her pyjamas. He would miss this sight of her, beautifully swollen with the life growing inside her, but he couldn't wait to meet their child, to finally hold it in his arms after all these months touching it through too many layers. Once Rory was in the shower Jess raced down to the car with the bags then called the hospital as planned. "Are you having any contractions yet?" he asked Rory, holding his hand over the receiver. "I think I just had one while you went to the car," Rory admitted. He relayed this to the nurse on the phone, nodding redundantly at her reply before disconnecting the call. "Okay." he said to no one in particular.

Rory was enjoying the warm water on her back but she was properly awake now and reality was beginning to set it. She wasn't due for another 3 days. She had things to do, she'd written lists, did this baby not realise how important those lists were? She felt another contraction sending sharp twinges through her body. "Jess? I just had another one." Jess came into the bathroom, shutting off the water and wrapping a dry towel around Rory's shoulders. "The nurse told me we don't need to hurry, just take our time and go in when we're ready or when the contractions get to 5 minutes apart." "Okay." Rory stole Jess's word. Rory got dressed and went into the kitchen in search of food. "I might grab a shower if you're okay?" Jess checked in on her before taking his turn in the bathroom. With the water streaming over his head he could feel the panic rising within him again, suffocating him like it had after his nightmare weeks earlier. He tried to remember the breathing techniques his counsellor had taught him and eventually got his nerves back under control. This was it. He had to be strong for Rory and the baby now. He just had to think ahead to the moment when they would be holding their child in their arms. Everything was going to be okay. He turned off the taps and stood dripping wet in the shower stall when he realised he'd used all the towels bar one on the floor. "Um Rory? Don't suppose you could get me a towel?" Rory arrived a few moments later with a happy grin on her face as she passed him her own towel. "It's all about the teamwork right?" she repeated their instructors words. Jess smiled back at her as he took the towel from her, "Lucky we make such a good team then isn't it?"

Shortly after 5am Jess decided it was time to go to the hospital. The contractions were definitely regular and getting closer together but aside from that he just couldn't keep the panic down anymore and needed to get them out of this tiny apartment so he could get enough air into his lungs again. Rory didn't argue, she was oblivious to Jess's nerves, too caught up in her own internal freak out. "I think I changed my mind." she told Jess as they got into the car. "You're about 9 months too late for that Ror!" Jess secured her seatbelt for her then got himself seated behind the steering wheel. He rested his head against it for a second taking a deep breath as he put the key in the ignition and started the engine. "I didn't mean about the baby," Rory explained as Jess buckled his own seatbelt. "I think I want my mum to be there." Jess nodded and reverted back to the word of the day "okay" Rory pulled out her phone and dialled Lorelai, "mum, is that you?" "Rory? It's 5 in the morning! The sun ain't even warm yet! Is everything okay?" "Yes mum, the baby's just decided to come a little earlier than expected. Jess is driving me to the hospital now and I changed my mind, I really want you to be there with me." "You keep those legs crossed then because I wouldn't miss this for the world!" Lorelai hung up her phone and sprang from the bed. She raced down to find Luke already in the kitchen.

"Today is a good day to be born don't you think?" she poured herself a coffee then kissed her husband good morning. "The baby's coming? Today?" "Yes Rory just called me and she wants me to be there. I need to have a shower and go, they're already on their way to the hospital. You don't mind do you?" "Of course not, Caesar is at the diner this morning anyway, I'll stay here with William and come to the hospital when the coast is clear." Luke assured her. "You could come with me you know, I'm sure Jess would appreciate the moral support." Lorelai encouraged him. "I don't know..." Luke suddenly looked squeamish. "You wouldn't have to be in the room or anything, they do have waiting rooms you know! The maternity ones have the nice chairs too and this way, if it takes a while, I'll be able to feed William and that means less fussing about making up bottles." "Well, when you put it like that, I guess I'll come with you. It's probably safer that way anyway." "I don't recall saying you could drive." Lorelai teased him as she headed for the stairs to shower and get dressed. Luke had William ready to go when she came back down into the lounge. "This is it! This is the day we become grandparents!" Lorelai suddenly realised. "I can't help but feel I'm too young to be a grandma." "Well, you will just have to be content with being the youngest, prettiest grandma in the state then." Luke assured her. "Hmmm, you really have got this world's greatest husband title in the bag now don't you?" Lorelai cosied up to Luke for a lingering kiss. "Lorelai?" "Yes darling" "I thought you didn't want to miss this." "Oh yes, right, baby, let's go!" Lorelai even let him drive.

It was 11:06am when their dark haired baby boy entered into the world. Rory lay back in the bed exhausted but exhilarated. Jess had tears in his eyes as he kissed his wife and his son. Lorelai left the trio together and went to find Luke to share the wonderful news. "You amaze me Rory. Just look what you created! He's so perfect." "I seem to recall you had a part in the creating too," she reminded him. "He looks like you. I had this feeling that it was going to be a boy. A mini Jess." "Hey, Ror, can I hold him?" Jess asked. "It depends, are you going to be a baby hog again? Because these aren't just accessories you know, they're a custom made milk bar and you'll need to return him to me at some point or he will starve." Jess smiled as she teased him. "I promise to return him." Rory handed the tiny bundle over to his Daddy. New tears formed in both their eyes as they sat there together in silence staring into their son's face.

"So, what are we going to name him then?" Jess eventually spoke. "I was thinking maybe we could call him Jack," Rory suggested. Jess raised his eyebrow in a silent question "I didn't think it would be fair to call him Dodger but they are one and the same if you think about it." "I like it, Jack Mariano. Jack Miller Mariano?" he waited for Rory's approval of his chosen middle name. "Miller? I do like the sound of that. Do I even want to know where it comes from?" she queried. "It served your old friend Ernest quite well so I think it'll suit our son nicely," Jess smiled as he watched Rory mull the name over in her mind. "Jack Miller Mariano, I like it." Rory nodded her head in approval. "What do you think little man?" Rory looked down to see her baby opening his eyes almost seeming to look at her. "I think he likes it," she smiled up at Jess.

When the nurse came in to help Rory with Jack's feed Jess went to find Luke and Lorelai. "Rory's just with the nurse," he explained as his uncle wrapped his arms around him in a tight embrace. "Congratulations Jess. A son! Wow! He and William will be like brothers." "Thanks Luke, I hope so," Jess replied sincerely. "Did you decide on a name yet?" Lorelai asked. "We called him Jack. Jack Miller Mariano." Jess spoke the name with pride. "Well I'm guessing there are a couple of literary references in that but you chose well regardless. I have to admit I was a little concern you might call him Dodger or Ernest." Lorelai gave her approval in her own unique way. Jess laughed at her comment, deciding he'd leave that one for Rory to explain to her one day. "Another J. Mariano huh?" Luke observed. "I hadn't even thought about that," Jess admitted, a worried look suddenly casting a shadow over his face. "Hey Jess, it's a good name." Luke assured him. "Well, if you look at it from an evolutionary perspective, this kid's got nowhere to go but up!" Jess's mocking tone came back to the surface. "There was a time it may have seemed like the apple hadn't fallen far from the tree Jess but then you planted your own tree and look at how full its branches are now! Jack is a lucky kid Jess." Luke assured his nephew. Lorelai looked at her husband in shock. "What?" Luke asked her, noticing her expression. "I'm just wondering when I married Yoda." Jess laughed as Luke became sheepish.

Emily and Richard came by in the early afternoon to visit and meet Jack. "He really is so lovely Rory!" Emily gushed. Richard was misty eyed as he told Rory and Jess how proud he was of them both. They didn't stay very long but Jess invited them to come and visit in few days times which Emily graciously accepted. Lorelai and Luke took William home shortly after Richard and Emily had left. It had been a long day for them. "Thank you for being here mum," Rory hugged Lorelai goodbye. "Thank you both for sharing this with me," Lorelai returned her daughter's hug then turned to her son in law. Jess surprised them both by pulling her into an embrace. Lorelai was going to make a joke but thought better of it, "you've got yourself a beautiful little family Jess." Jess looked incredulously at the picture perfect image before him - his wife and his son - his family. "I do, don't I?" he agreed.


	51. Chapter 51

**Epilogue**

**Here Comes The Sun**

Rory stood at the doorway to the nursery watching her husband cradle their son in his arms. He was humming an old Beatles tune as he gently rocked him to sleep. Rory smiled to herself as she remembered the lyrics that matched the tune. It had been like a long, cold lonely winter for them but here they were now, the ice had definitely melted and everything was clear. She felt tears forming in her eyes again, this whole motherhood thing sure was an emotional roller coaster! She could not recall a happier moment than this one right now. She stood there savouring every detail of the scene before her until Jess settled Jack into his cot and came to stand by her side at the door. He kissed his wife on the forehead. "I can hardly believe he's ours!" he whispered into her hair. "He's not just our silver lining Jess, he's our sun." Rory slid her arm around her husband's waist and allowed him to steer her away from the nursery.

Rory and Jess sat cuddled together on the lounge, enjoying the quiet for a while. Their time together had been reduced to brief snatches between Jack's needs and their own human needs for food and sleep. Just sitting there in silence together was enough though. When Rory fell asleep, her head resting on Jess's chest, he kept one arm wrapped around her while reaching for his book with the other. He smiled at himself as a thought passed through his mind - yes, this was his life now, and he didn't think he had ever been more content. Today was Luke and Lorelai's first wedding anniversary. His life had changed that day too. If someone had told him a year ago that he'd be sitting here now with his wife and their child asleep in the next room he'd have told them they needed their dosage checked. He didn't know why that song had come into his head earlier but he saw now that it fit the last 10 years of his life. That string that had always kept him and Rory attached was so strong now, he no longer feared it might snap. Everything really was going to be alright now.

**The End**

_**A/N 21 days ago I couldn't have known how this story would steal every spare second of my day and inspire so many words from my fingertips. It has been an exciting and enjoyable journey but my real life is beckoning me back to it. I am so sincerely grateful to every single person who has read this fic, especially those who've taken the time to leave comments, your encouragement really does mean a great deal to me. I hope you've all enjoyed my story. I'm sorry it had to end but this felt like a good place to me. This was a literati story but more than that, this was a story of the evolution of Jess. I do not own any of these characters but am so incredibly thankful to their creators who gifted us with such a wonderful and inspiring group of friends. It's been nice to borrow them for a while and imagine what might have been. **_


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